6 Signs of Immaturity in a Relationship

Journey to maturity
Photo by Yoann Boyer

We see a lot of couples ending in heartbreak after just a few months of being too sweet and inseparable. Some couples meanwhile find themselves starting a family too fast, but afterward, they separate in an acrimonious manner. At the same time, there are couples who, despite being in a relationship for many years, seem to be going in circles with no clear direction to follow.

If there’s one thing that these three types of couples have in common, that’s being immature in their relationships.

But what are the signs of immaturity in a relationship? You may want to look at these instances to gauge whether you and your partner are already at the “right age” to be in one:

1. You always want things your way.
One of the most annoying signs of immaturity in a relationship is when one of you –or both of you, don’t want to compromise. You just want things to go your way, while your partner wants the opposite. It can be cute to watch if you are in a romantic comedy, but it doesn’t say the same when in real life.

You may want to learn to give in sometimes, especially when you think your argument is a bit petty. Your partner should learn to do the same too, otherwise your bond, no matter how you claim to love each other, won’t last long.

2. You fight fire with fire.
Another common sign of being immature when in a relationship is when you do not want to relent during an argument. Let’s say you two are not agreeing over something, and you would wage a debate until one of you surrenders. The worst thing is, you make sure that you won’t be the one to raise the white flag.

You cannot always fight fire with fire, especially when you know your partner doesn’t take things sitting down. You very well know each other’s attitudes from the start of your relationship, and you should know when and how to give way during certain situations.

Not doing so may lead you to form grudges against each other, and when the time comes, you might separate ways filled with anger and hate.

ALSO READ: 7 Ways to Stop Being Emotionally Immature

3. You tend to be jealous of just about everything.
Young couples are prone to getting jealous of each other. These may come in the form of a guy looking at other ladies while his girlfriend is with him, or a girl entertaining a guy on Facebook despite the fact that she has a boyfriend. Of course, these are classic examples where jealousy thrives, but it can also arise in other situations such as spending more time with friends instead of being in a relationship, prioritizing other obligations such as school, career, or a hobby.

But while jealousy is normal, it should not always be tolerated. You should learn to grow out of it because the longer you entertain it, the more damaged your relationship becomes. This is because jealousy triggers anger, hate, and loss of trust. You don’t want to feel that way towards your partner, so you have to learn how to manage it.

Take note, you two may be in a relationship, but it doesn’t mean you’re each other’s world.

4. You think about getting back at your partner whenever they’ve done something wrong.
To forgive is easy, but to forget is an entirely different matter. Yes, it’s true, because you cannot just get rid of the memory of being hurt by your partner (intentionally or not). Let’s say you two have been in a rough patch, but have since mended things and are trying a new start. By this time, however, you have already learned from the experience, and are expected to know better.

It isn’t right that you plot revenge against your partner just to feel vindicated. It’s not a sign of immaturity, but of not being a good person. You don’t plan on getting back at someone you choose to be in a relationship with just because of a past that you two have supposedly let go of already. So yes, when you forgive, try to move forward as well.

ALSO READ: 11 Signs You’re in a Mature, Healthy, and Strong Relationship

5. You value all things superficial.
This may be petty as it sounds but a lot of people who are in a relationship often value just the superficial aspect of it. They are after the presents, the travels, the dinners out, the pictures, and the lifestyle of being in a relationship. They are even after physical traits and not so much with the emotional investment.

If you happen to have these things as your top priority in your relationship, then you’re not ready to be in one yet. You can do all these things on your own, or with your family and friends and enjoy the value of the lifestyle in its true form.

Your partner is not merely an arm candy or an accessory that you need in order to look good. Your partner is a person, alive, with feelings –and you are supposed to be human too.

6. You are too clingy.
Lastly, being too clingy is also a sign of immaturity in the sense that you do not see the value of your partner’s individuality. Sure, you two engaged in a romantic setup and are together almost all the time, but this doesn’t mean you have to act as a single unit. Be reminded that you are a couple, two persons together but are at the same time separate and different characters. They have their own life to live, and you’re only a part of it; at the same time, you are your own person and they’re just living a part of it with you.

You may want to learn how to respect each other’s individuality, as this is the key for you not only to prosper as a couple but for your relationship to last through the test of time.

In essence…

Immaturity is almost always present in any couple starting out. Among many things, they have just commenced their union and are in the process of exploring life together. But this doesn’t mean they can linger in the honeymoon phase forever, as sooner or later you have to grow up.

ALSO READ: 10 Ways to be More Mature in a Relationship

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Fae Marie Esperas
When not on the road, Fae Marie Esperas writes about life's adventures as she sees them. She likes her coffee with mint, and owns a cat named Ramon.

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