12 Struggles Only Girls Who Have Had No Boyfriend Since Birth Understand

girl alone

Have you ever been teased by your friends because you’re the only one in the group who doesn’t have a boyfriend? Or you’re probably in your 20s and 30s but you never had a taste of having an intimate relationship? Well, we’ve all been part of the No Boyfriend Since Birth Club. Some girls are proud of this label while others are not. I’ve been there before and I was already in my 20s before I got my first boyfriend. And I’ll tell you, there are hundreds of ways to enjoy your single life before you find the right one. However, there are also struggles that you have to endure from your mean friends, nosy relatives, and even the world in general.

Here are some of the things that only girls who have had no boyfriend since birth will understand.

1. People often don’t believe you.
Oftentimes, when someone asked me “have you ever had a boyfriend?” and I answered “YES, since birth!”, people freak out and don’t believe what I’ve said. Why? This is because, in this generation, the girlfriend and boyfriend relationship is already common even among teenagers.

2. People jokingly ask whether you want to be a nun.
There is nothing wrong with being a nun if that’s what is meant for you. However, just because I’ve never had a boyfriend since then doesn’t mean I don’t like anyone. In fact, I am just patiently waiting for the right one.

3. You can’t relate to your friends’ love life.
It’s a bit annoying hearing my friends talking about their love life and intimate activities knowing that they have a friend here who never experienced all those things. It’s funny to think about how they enjoyed sharing their stories with me, who simply don’t get what they are talking about.

4. They never fail to remind you to lower your standards.
Yes, I do have standards but I believe that the whole standard thing will become useless once you fall in love with someone else. It’s just a bit irritating having your friends and family always reminding you to lower your standards, where in fact it’s not the main reason why you still can’t find the right one.

5. You seem to be the only one who believes that “True love waits” or “All good things come to those who wait”.
It’s not wrong to think that way. However, I feel out of place most of the time since it seems like I’m the only one who believes in waiting, especially if you have friends who keep on telling you that you might end up being an old maiden.

6. You’re not getting roses, chocolates, or stuffed toys during Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day has always been just like an ordinary day. While everyone’s having a romantic date or getting chocolates, roses, and stuffed toys, here I am just wondering how it feels to receive those things from special someone.

7. People often try to console you about your relationship status.
Sometimes, it’s nice to know that I am surrounded by kind people – those folks who would try to cheer me up and help me land a boyfriend. However, I want to accept their consolation while I throw myself a pity party because they all have a point- that I never had a boyfriend since birth, and sometimes it seriously sucks.

8. Your friends and family are trying to set you up on a blind date.
While you appreciate your family’s and friends’ good intentions in looking for your “the one”, you can’t help but feel annoyed sometimes by how they invest their time in your single status. Sometimes, I want to tell them to stop acting like cupids because it wouldn’t help anyway. It’s hard to insist if someone doesn’t really like it.

9. You’ve been the 3rd, 5th, or 7th wheel when you’re hanging out with friends.
I’ve been in this situation a lot of times. And yes, it sucks – how I see my friends having sweet moments with their boyfriends. And sometimes, I can’t help but feel envious about their healthy love life while here I am pairing up with myself, alone.

10. You’ve been asked if you’re a lesbian.
Sometimes I get offended whenever they call me lesbian just because I’ve never had a boyfriend since birth. I just don’t get why it’s such a big deal for them. Staying single for a long time doesn’t mean you’re in doubt about your gender. It only means that you are just patiently waiting for someone who’s worth it.

11. You hate family gatherings because of your nosy-relatives.
Some of my relatives never forget to ask if I already have a boyfriend. It has always been their usual question whenever we met, may it be along the road or during family gatherings.

12. Whenever you met a handsome guy, your friends are ready to push you.
This has been a great struggle for single ladies who have crazy friends out there. Whenever I had a chance to hang out with the gang and they see handsome guys around us. I ready myself for I’m about to become their bait to get that guy. They would push you or tease you just because you’re the only one who doesn’t have a boyfriend in the group and they are all ready to find one for you.

This is how single girls since birth struggle with their relationship status. You need to deal with the nosy people around you and how will they react to it. However, just because you’re single since birth doesn’t mean you no longer have the right to be happy and be inspired.

ALSO READ: 15 Tips to Stay Happy while being Single

Take some time for yourself first and when the right time comes, you’ll find the right man for you. Always remember that there is no need to rush things and you don’t have to be affected by what you hear from people around you. Take time to love God and to love yourself. And when God knows you’re ready for the responsibility and commitment, he will reveal the right person under the right circumstances.

Image source: Pexels

Marydel Mitch Flores
Mitch is a writer and photographer. She also does screenwriting for independent film producers and joins various film competitions. Mitch believes that “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

15 thoughts on “12 Struggles Only Girls Who Have Had No Boyfriend Since Birth Understand”

  1. Knowing that younger people around had the feeling of being in a relationship, and i thinking i am somehow weirded by the fact of being single for 18 years (going 19) I search and found this article, now i felt relieved, that i’m not alone, it just me being in a relationship is a lot of work to do, and my focus is onto myself. And the idea of finding love on other social media, dating apps, is not for me. I have to know who and what i’m person i’m dealing with.

  2. Hello there, author. Thank you for sharing this one. This is really true. I was really afraid to end up being an old-maiden because somehow it’s in our genes. (I don’t have any scientific explanation for that though). But everything had suddenly changed when I realized that being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely.

  3. I experience this all… since i reach the age of 18 now I’m 28… people around me says they will throw a party if I’ll get a boyfriend 😂

  4. I thought i’m the only one who’s exp most of the above.Thanks for sharing
    I’m a 28 year old lady who have never had a boyfriend

  5. same here too. I am 24, never had any bf since birth; i also hate the idea of dating first.. friendship is the key to start any relationship, thats why i have stopped using dating sites.. all seems to jump straight into relationship game thats it.

  6. I have met NBSB girls out there. But I haven’t met an NBSB like me who haven’t experienced being courted by a guy or by someone. I never even knew if someone got a serious crush on me haha.

    When I was 25, I asked the heavens if there’s something wrong about me. People say I’m pretty, smart, chubby, bubbly, etc. They also wonder why I haven’t got into a relationship. I hear them say “baka picky ka”, or “baka mataas ang standards mo.” And I asked myself it what they is true…but how can I set a certain standard on a relationship when no one really tried to court me? haha!

    I turned 30 last month and I looked back at the decades of being single. People who know that I’m NBSB would sometimes say that “just wait for the right one”, “darating rin yan”, “at least na spare ka sa heart aches”. But it doesn’t mean that I am spared from being heart brokem if I am NBSB. I fell in love a few times, I confess my feelings to the guys (because I do not want to grow old thinking about the what-ifs), I even courted a guy and got rejected, and suffered unrequited love. I even ended up giving love letters, post cards and stealing a rose (from a bouquet) for myself hahahahahahaaa!!!

    So, you see, maybe this so called romantic love is not for me at all. I am already 30 and at this time I am preparing myself emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and all the lillies (haha) that I might end up being an old-maid.

    I am starting to look at the successful old maids in different fields nowadays. I have many ninangs and family members (maybe it’s in the genes?haha) who are old maids and I notice 2 types: the happy and the bitter. To be honest, if I end up to be one, I want to be the happy type. The one who still feel kilig for others and who loves to play being a matchmaker hahahaha.

  7. so, in short, everyone tries their best to offer advices or help and you shun them away then decide to write an article shaming them in public?

    good luck with that “boyfriend”, your attitude is bad and you are proud of it

    you may think “is ok, I am young, I can afford to be pretentious, sassy, ungrateful and self entitled” but guess what, time passes, you become more and more resentful and bitter and that will backfire.

    even if “the rest tries to give you blind dates” or “they say to lower your standards” and you consider this to be wrong, you must be grateful that they care! They genuinely do care about you and your happiness, and they try to help in their own way!

    But noooo… sassy girl is above the rest of the world. Her prince has not yet appeared, but wait, not a moment too soon, a helicopter will land on the lawn and a billionaire prince will grab her and give her all she ever dreamed. The parents are stupid, the relative are idiots, the “society” is wrong… she knows best!

    Guess what, 25-30% of all girls remain unmarried, and you know what they do next?
    They write article about “how empowered I feel” and “being single until death is fun!”.

    Your parents and relatives and the “society” tries to help, but you think you’re above everyone else. Good luck with your attitude and remember, “good men” marry first, and you already lost half of them.

  8. Hi, even I dated some guys, my family still thinking that I might be a lesbian. I never had a long time relationship. Never last more than 3 months. I used to think that, that was no big deal bit, I’m 27 and I really wanna meet someone. Dating websites don’t attract me at all. I miss the time which people started to be friends before started to date. I rather get to know someone before to date and nowadays, it kind of different. I think I’m an old fashion girl!
    PS: Sorry for my bad writing, I’m French.

  9. it is really annoying to be single at times because you would also want to feel the pleasure your friends feel when with their lovers but such just can’t happen to you
    so then learn to live your single life in a productive manner

  10. Solomon was so right in saying, do not awaken love until it so desires. I’ve come to understand this alot in this status.

    • Hi May,

      Thanks for sharing the wisdom about love. We’re glad you have gain such understanding. 🙂



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