Yes, it’s possible to live a fulfilling life even after a painful breakup. There are still many reasons for you to continue living, even if you have lost the love of your life. All you need to do is see things with a positive outlook.
How to be Happy and Strong After a Breakup
Here are 14 practical ways that may help you be happy and strong after a painful breakup. Try doing them, and the weight you’re carrying now may be lightened up.
1. Accept reality.
No matter how hard for you to accept it, the reality won’t go away. Accept it with an open mind and heart. It is the first step of moving forward. Letting go will be easier because you won’t be clinging to false hopes.
2. Think it’s for the best.
Confront the situation with a positive attitude. You have to believe that everything happens for a reason, and this breakup is probably for the best. Who knows? There could be someone better meant for you. If your love for each other is true and you’re meant to be, I believe you’re going to be back in each other’s arms at the right time—when you’re better and more mature individuals.
3. Pray for your ex and yourself.
I believe in the power of prayer because I personally experienced it in my own brokenness. That’s why I strongly encourage you to pray not just for yourself but even for your ex in this painful situation. Pray that both of you be guided by divine wisdom in dealing with the situation so that you won’t succumb to destructive distractions.
4. Divert your attention to productive causes.
Instead of idling the whole day in your room, be brave enough to face each day. Do your best to live a functional life despite the pain you’re going through. Devote your time to being productive at work or school. Try to accomplish as many tasks as possible, so that you’ll be distracted from your situation. You can also involve yourself in socio-civic activities.
5. Count your blessings.
Losing an important person in your life could feel like you’ve lost the whole world. However, if you open your eyes and look around you, you’ll see that you still have a lot to thank for. Count all the blessings you have received. Be thankful for the loved ones who are still with you. Be thankful for the opportunities and even for the smallest good things.
6. Think that you deserve better.
If your breakup was because of a third party or being taken for granted, think of this as a chance for you to be free from someone who doesn’t see your real worth. You have to remind yourself that you deserve to be treated better. You deserve someone who will respect and treat you with the utmost care.
7. Enjoy singlehood.
Being in a relationship for too long had probably kept you from doing some of the things you used to love doing. Mingling with friends from the opposite sex became limited; you couldn’t travel to far places alone for soul-searching, and you couldn’t make major decisions without your partner’s approval. Now that you’re single again, take this as an opportunity to enjoy life freely.
8. Spend more time with loved ones.
Your family won’t be around forever. For this reason, use your loneliness as a motivation to value your loved ones. Aside from distracting yourself from pain, you also get to enjoy the company of those who will always love you. Date your parents in a fancy restaurant or take them to a resort. Treat your siblings to the movie or play sports with them. Visit your grandparents or take the time to listen to their stories.
9. Dare yourself on extreme adventures.
You need to release those heavy emotions. Convert your anger and negative energy into a driving force to do ‘crazy stuff’. Why not challenge yourself to try the things you have never imagined doing—like zip lining, bungee jumping, or skydiving? You can also go hiking and camping in the wild. Afterward, you’d feel stronger and braver. Just make sure you get yourself proper outdoor gear/equipment, a professional adventure/tour guide, and training to ensure your safety.
10. Surround yourself with positive people.
You need a positive environment. Therefore, avoid talking with emotional and depressed people as much as possible. Instead, be surrounded by friends who will encourage you and make you laugh. Hang out with those who have experienced what you’re going through and are now living happily.
11. Don’t dwell in the past.
Stop thinking about your good old times together. Past is past, and it will never happen again. Clinging to happy memories makes it harder to accept the reality that it’s all over. No matter how good your relationship was before, it’s all in the past now. That is the present.
12. Wish your ex all the best.
Being bitter hits you harder than the person who hurt you. Instead of cursing or wishing bad things to happen to your ex, forgive and pray for him/her to be happy and successful. This selfless act will help you more because it is a positive and pure energy that cleanses your wounded soul. You’ll be healing faster.
13. Value yourself more than ever.
You’re the first person who can love yourself best. How you value yourself will determine how others will value you. If you lack self-respect (like allowing just anybody to flirt with you, or you enjoy being the subject of dirty jokes), then don’t expect to receive a higher amount of respect from others. You have to set standards for yourself.
14. Be excited about what the future holds.
An ending can mean a new beginning. Use this breakup to motivate yourself to dream bigger dreams and expect greater things. Desire to meet a better person—and be a better person yourself. Learn from past mistakes and use these lessons to be wiser in your next relationship.
How to Stay Positive After a Breakup
When someone enters into a relationship, both parties stay committed and have no intention of breaking up at some point in time.
But when they have decided to let go, it is not as easy as it looks like. Especially for the person who got dumped, it may feel like it’s the end of the world, and it is a never-ending cycle of questioning yourself on what went wrong and why things have ended.
However, that person who got dumped should learn how to get up, move on and keep moving forward.
There’s more to life than questioning your worth. Instead, you should do things that will improve yourself and keep you busy in order for you to start fresh and have a new beginning. So here are 10 ways to stay positive after a breakup:
1. Allow yourself to feel the pain.
As one quote in the book The Fault in the Stars said, “pain demands to be felt.” And it’s true, you’ve been hurt so allow yourself to feel it. You don’t have to pretend that you’re okay even if you are not. It’s normal for you to get hurt because you have spent time, effort, and emotions on that person. What matters is how you cope up after that situation. Allow that pain to be your strength to become the best version of yourself.
ALSO READ: 7 Inspiring Ways to Move On After a Breakup
Being in social media might be a vulnerable thing to do right after a break-up. You will be tempted to do things such as looking at your ex’s profile and wondering how he/she’s doing. For sure, social media can be a great platform to meet and connect with new people, but still, the temptation of checking your ex’s profile is still there. You might end up hurting more when you see that he/she is doing well seeing that he/she posts happy photographs. Having a social media detox is for your own good, that way you can stay away from things that restricts you from moving on.
3. Throw away the things that remind you of that person.
Whether it’s a gift or a letter he/she sent you – throw it. This might seem like an act of bitterness but it’s not. This you letting go of the things that are unimportant in your life now. Those things will only prevent you from moving on. Even if you’re already doing progress, once you see something that reminds you of that person, you’ll end up going back to square one. Don’t let that happen to you.
4. Try something new.
Go to a pottery class, paint, travel even doing something adventurous like hiking or surfing, try to do things you’ve never done before. It’s an amazing feeling to learn something new. It may feel a bit scary at first, but you’ll never know unless you try. If you want to do something brand new physically, have a new hairstyle or color. It might be a bit stereotypical that people who went through a break-up change the way their hair looks but it just feels good to have a change with what you look like. It somehow equates with you improving and becoming a better person than you were before.
5. Revamp your room.
Just like your physical appearance, having a make-over for your room will make a huge difference. Changing out the sheets, buying scented candles and making your room as light and as open will feel a bit more comfortable to sleep in. At the end of the day, you want to rest in a room where it feels safe and cozy.
ALSO READ: 12 Wise Things to Do After a Painful Breakup
6. Spend more time with the people you love and care about.
When you are in a relationship, there are times when we forget the people around us, it’s like our world revolves around that person that you forget to spend time with your friends and family. Take this as an opportunity to catch up with them and make new memories with them. Because your friends and family are your constants, your boyfriend/girlfriend might leave you, but they won’t. They are your number one support system and of course, they are the people who genuinely care and love you.
7. Volunteer for a cause.
You might feel like it’s the end of the world for you, but there are people out there in the world who are struggling more than you do. It feels good to help other people especially those who are in need. Join an organization that cares for the underprivileged, or volunteer on a feeding program near your place. No matter how big or small the help you’re giving, it is well-appreciated as long as it’s genuine and is from the heart.
Now the reason for this is not to make your ex regret losing you, but for your own well-being. It is essential for you to take good care of yourself. You shouldn’t be dependent on anyone to take care of you. This will make you more active and energized to do a lot of things and become more productive. Of course, with exercise, you also need to eat healthier. Now that doesn’t mean you have to deprive yourself of the food you want to eat, keeping it balanced is the way to do it.
9. Laugh more.
This may sound a bit silly but laughing more can help you release stress. Watching a good sitcom, or stand-up comedy are ways to help you do this. Even when you’re hanging out with your friends and family, they are not only there in bad times but in good times also.
10. Guard your heart.
While you are in the process of moving on, you might meet a new person whom you think is the right one for you. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to rush. Instead, take time to focus on yourself first. Let your heart fully heal. As many people would say, “You can’t give something that you don’t have.” So it is much better to focus and love yourself first so that in time, you can give out that love also for the right person.
I hope these tips would somehow help you to stay positive after a breakup. Most if not all of us have been through that experience, and it is not as easy as it seems. But we just have to trust the process and believe that we can overcome it.
Always remember that you are not a quitter and that you are stronger than you think you are. So keep moving forward and prepare for a new relationship when you are ready.
12 Signs You are Ready for a New Relationship After a Breakup
Being a rebound is something you don’t wish yourself to be regardless of the extent of your love for a person. You know you deserve the kind of love that is pure and true.
The same thing goes for other people. They also deserve a love that is pure and true just like you. So, how can you make sure that you are ready for a new relationship after a breakup?
Here are the signs to see how ready you are for a new one:
1. You don’t feel the need to talk to your friends to release your feelings about your ex.
The pain you felt in your heart needs to be released somehow, so you call for your friends. If you’re still on this stage, you haven’t moved on. Your heart still has wounds that need to be licked. Don’t rush with it. Continue pouring until there’s nothing left.
2. You can freely talk about your ex on random occasions.
Your family, your friends, and even your workmates probably know your ex, so his or her name being mentioned at times is something that you cannot avoid. When you were asked about your ex, how did you respond? How did you feel about responding to that kind of question? Observe yourself. If you can talk about your ex’s topics as if they are about a random person in your life, then there’s a high chance you have already moved on and are ready for a new relationship.
3. You no longer look back in anger.
Do you still call your ex a monster, an evil, or label him or her as someone who must not be named? You might not yet be ready to get into a new relationship. Anger is a sign that you have not reached the stage of acceptance that your past relationship has already ended. Wait until you are at peace with the memory of your ex before jumping into a new one.
4. You don’t think of the what-ifs anymore.
If your relationship ended at the time you still love your partner, the what-ifs are a constant. What if you did the things he or she wanted you to do? What if you have not said the words that you think caused the end of your relationship? What if you have given more time and exerted more effort to your partner? Can you save your relationship? If you still ask those questions and plan on getting your ex back, you are clearly not yet ready for a new relationship.
5. You don’t feel shots of pain when you see your ex with someone else.
You saw your ex happy, happy with someone else, not you. Are you okay with that? If it’s a no, and you still wish for that person to be you, you need to buy yourself some more healing time.
ALSO READ: 10 Inspirational Tips to Heal a Broken Heart
One of the most common initial actions of people who just have just ended a relationship is blocking their exes on social media. Knowing anything about your ex causes you pain. That is, if you haven’t moved on. But, if you’re okay knowing that your ex is perfectly fine without you, then you might be a perfect fit for a new partner, too.
If your purpose of unblocking your ex on social media is for him or her to see updates about you, then you have not moved on. You don’t unblock your ex with the thinking that he or she might check on your account to see how you’re doing. If you no longer post or tweet things pertaining to your ex with the assumption that he or she might read it, you’re one step closer to your recovery.
8. Things and places lost their symbolism.
Places returned to being places, and things returned to being just things. They’ve been once special because they hold the memories of you and your ex, but when the relationship ended, the symbolism must end, too. Does a coffee blend still remind you of your ex’s favorite? Do you still imagine you and your ex occupying the vacant seats of a specific restaurant? If you gave a negative response, you might now be ready to create a new set of symbolism with your new partner.
9. You no longer cry over your breakup songs.
Sometimes, songs are so universal you feel they tell your story, even your stories with your ex. When a breakup song plays in a mall or in an FM radio station, and it can still make you cry because of the memories of your ex that it brings back, you haven’t fully healed. And no, you are not yet ready for a new relationship.
10. You are not looking for a new relationship just for the sake of status.
Does it still feel like a race? Do you still have that feeling that you need to be the first one to be in a new relationship after your breakup so that you can tell the whole world that your ex doesn’t really play an important role in your life? If your answer is affirmative, the more you should stop yourself from getting into a new relationship. Your potential partner should be more than just a status you can brag about.
11. Your criteria for judging do not involve your ex.
You don’t count the shortcomings of your potential partner based on the things that your ex has done. Remember that your ex and the potential partner that you have are two different people, and you should see them in different lights.
12. You don’t use your potential partner as a memory eraser.
You don’t bring your potential partner to the places you’ve been with your ex to replace old memories with new ones. You should be at peace with the memories of your ex before you start looking for a potential partner. So, as long as you still have that urge to use your potential partner as a memory eraser, tell yourself to stop. Heal yourself first.
Moving on isn’t easy, but it should never be the reason why you should make a person your rebound. Make sure your heart is well before you even start looking for a potential partner.
ALSO READ: 100 Tips on How to Move on after a Breakup
It’s a new beginning indeed.
Your recent breakup is not the end of the world. But, it could be your door to a better world for your future. You have to believe that there are better days ahead of you. This is a fresh start for you, so make the most of it.
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose.
- Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
Books recommended for you:
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Photo by Toa Heftiba