Falling in love is easy. Getting your heart broken is also easy. But do you know what’s the hard part in this process of falling in and out of love? It’s not enduring the pain, but getting rid of the memories of that person you love.
This is because the memories never go away. Once you form them, they remain in your heart. They may be overwritten by new experiences and exciting feelings, but you can easily draw them out again when you feel nostalgic. Yes, they know how to stay, both in your heart, mind, and soul.
Indeed, memories cannot be erased, but you can still forget. This doesn’t mean getting rid of the memories altogether, but rather wiping away the emotions that come with these recollections. But how do you such a thing?
Here are 12 ways that will help you forget someone you love and heal the pain that comes from the past:
1. Create new, meaningful experiences.
This may be the hardest to do, but it’s actually easier than expected. Indeed, it can be haunting to visit the places or do the activities that you and your former significant other used to do. However, it’s not the end of the world once you two have broken up.
And these things –the ones you used to share, still exist.
Hence, you cannot just avoid them all the time because they remind you of the past. You’re only depriving yourself of the fun and excitement that these things offer if you try to experience them again. Instead, revel in their wonders together with the people that matter to you the most.
Visit those memorable destinations with your family and friends. Take pictures together, eat meals as a group, and enjoy all other activities as a team. This way, when you start looking back, you’ll remember only the good times, not those that tell you of a heartache.
2. Go out.
Loneliness is a killer so please don’t lock yourself up in your room. Open your windows and take a good look outside. The world moves on without you so you have to keep up with it! You can’t be stuck in your room moping forever until crows turn white.
Another way to forget someone you love is by going out. Literally. Wear your sneakers and start walking, even just around your neighborhood. This is because the longer you wallow indoors; the more time you spend thinking about a past that’s never coming back. You can only set yourself free by taking the initiative to do so.
Start walking. Enjoy the sights, the traffic, the busy streets, and smile at the people you meet along the way. For a moment or two, you’ll forget about that person who broke your heart. The longer your mind gets preoccupied with these simple encounters, the farther you get away from those memories you have so been wanting to forget.
You don’t know where to go? That’s the best part! Why not start at that store you’ve always wanted to go to?
3. Allow yourself to be shocked.
One reason you don’t want to forget is that you have developed a feeling of certainty towards your painful memories. You’ve started using them as your shield against the exciting things that are headed your way, all because you think you’ll just end up hurt.
Instead of hiding under a shell, allow yourself to be surprised, scared, and shocked. Take a ride on the rollercoaster and scream to your heart’s delight. Your brain needs this as well, as the feeling of surprise allows it to generate new brain cells and reminds you that what Cher says is true: there is life after love.
4. Talk about your memories.
People often write about the things they recall, so that they could keep them. Meanwhile, if you are trying to forget, then it would be best that you don’t write about them. Rather, talk about the things you remember.
This is because unlike writing where you can flip through the pages in case you are starting to miss some important highlights, talking about your memories out loud isn’t recorded. The more you discuss these recollections verbally, the lesser the details you mention, the lesser the emotions you feel, the lesser the weight you carry. Do this until such time that you could no longer recall the diner where you had your first date or how it rained when you two broke up.
It’s because when the essence of the memories has already faded, the entire recollection no longer matters to you as well.
5. Put away all the physical evidence of your memories.
In her song “The Art of Letting Go,” American singer Mikaila tells us to “put away the pictures, put away the memories,” that she’s been “putting over and over through her tears.”
Her advice is indeed helpful because while the memories are mental pictures stored in the brain, physical evidence such as pictures and videos only amplifies their effects and triggers our emotions. Thus, if you are keen on forgetting this person you love due to heartache, then it would be best to keep the visuals away for a while.
It’s not that you are bitter with the end of your romance; you just need to give your mind and hear the space to recover and get back to normal. When the right time comes, you can go through these items again and no longer remember the feelings that made them special.
Do a survey around your room and pick out every single thing that he gave you and throw it out. Even the receipts of the first-ever movie that you saw together, take it out and chuck it down the bin! The relationship is over so there’s no point clinging to things that will only remind you of the past
Although it’s hard and even nearly impossible to do this, you have to do it. You need to learn how to let things go because sometimes it’s better for you in the long run even if it will hurt a bit at the start. This is your first step on your journey to moving on.
6. Pray for inner peace.
When all else fails, you only one resort left, and that’s to pray. Praying is an effective means to calm yourself amidst this emotional journey of getting over the person you love. This is because through praying, you get the quiet time you deserve. You also get to whisper your qualms and wishes to God, and through his divine intervention, you are able to see life from a different perspective.
It is also through praying that you are able to thank love for stopping by even for just a short while. By doing this, you also release all the negative energy you’ve been holding against the heartbreak you’ve experienced and the person you lost.
While praying may not be a direct means to forget, it helps you become more open to new adventures in life and not keep yourself with the “what-ifs” and other regrets you’ve nurtured after getting hurt coping with the loss.
7. Delete all your pictures of him.
After throwing all his gifts in the trash, open your buzzing phone, and finally read those messages from last week. After that, go to your phone’s gallery and delete your pictures of him and the two of you together.
It may be tempting to keep those but you will only hurt yourself further during the process. If there’s still anything that reminds you of him in your room, your phone, or even your mind, you will not be able to move on.
8. Try picking up a hobby.
Now that you’ve got all this free time, you have an excuse to pick up a new hobby! Pick your dusty paintbrushes, take up knitting, try out martial arts, or even take a Spanish class. Whatever you want to do, go do it, this is your time to make yourself a better person than before.
This is also the best way to keep your mind occupied and away from the person who broke your heart. The more your time is filled the better and easier it is for you to move on.
9. Fill your time with exercise.
What’s the best way to get back up from a break-up? Having a great body of course! Don’t let this sad situation get you down and tempt you to binge-eat all your favorite foods. Instead, look at this as an opportunity for you to bloom and become an even better person.
Besides, it’s already proven that exercise helps you release hormones called endorphins which will make you naturally happier! The best thing is that after a few months of push-ups, you’re rocking a great bod, and you see your ex down the street, you’ll be able to strut your stuff with confidence!
ALSO READ: 8 Ways to Move On After Being Cheated On
10. Think about the bad times.
While this is not recommended, it’s also very helpful. If you want to move on quickly, then it’s best to think about the bad things he did or the flaws he has instead of focusing on your sweet memories together. This is to help you think that you’re better off without him anyway.
The catch here is that for you not falling into a deep well of negativity. Remember, never dwell on what happened in the past especially if it’s an unsavory experience. Just pump yourself up and remind yourself that you’re so much happier and better now than ever before.
11. Treat yourself to an occasional binge-eat.
We know we said that it’s not entirely good to fall into a long binge-eating frenzy, but it wouldn’t hurt to treat yourself to an occasional one. Take the day off and visit your favorite restaurants, eat your favorite foods, and don’t be afraid to pig out every once in a while.
You deserve to feel full and satisfied. You also deserve to be happy even when it comes to food. Just remember to pick yourself up with the exercise once you’re done with your feast!
12. Hang out more with your friends.
Another best way to get over a break-up is to hang out with your friends. If they invite you out, don’t decline it and the best of friends will go their way to help you, drag you out of your room, and treat you to a nice day out.
Trash talk your ex with your friends if you have to and do anything to get your mind off the negative things. Have fun and enjoy it while you’re still young!
Getting your heart broken is normal. Losing someone you love is common. But people, feelings, and experiences all come and go. Instead of harboring ill feelings, thank them for being part of your past, so that you become more capable not only of forgetting, but welcoming a new chapter in life that’s more colorful and more fulfilling to celebrate.
The way you move on is entirely up to you. Take all the time you need but also make sure to take care of yourself. The worst way is when you forget about yourself and allow your mind and body to rot away.
This is the situation now, you have to face it and accept it. Oftentimes, we don’t like change because we crave the stability we had with our ex-partners, but it’s time to move on. You’re a strong person and you can do it!
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