How to Fix a Long Distance Relationship After a Fight

fixing a relationship
Photo by Ibrahim Asad

While some fights are simple and too powerless to ruin a beautiful love story, there are types of arguments that can cause even the most committed couples to break up. For instance, triggers such as lack of trust, infidelity, overprotectiveness, and clinginess can easily weaken a long-term relationship – most especially if it’s a long-distance relationship.

If you are currently in an LDR and would want to know if your arguments are slowly destroying your relationship, answer these questions first: Did your previous misunderstandings change something about your relationship? Second, do you feel that something is different after failing to fix an argument properly? Lastly, do you think things will never be the same again after those fights?

If you answered YES to even just one of these questions, then you do need help. Here are some tips on how to fix a long-distance relationship after a fight.

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How to Fix a Long Distance Relationship After a Fight

1. Give yourself and your partner time to cool off.

Any argument with the person you love can be emotionally and physically draining, so don’t expect them to be in their best mood even if you think you have already resolved the issue.

The things you did or the words you said to each other can hurt like a sharp knife, so make sure to let the wounds heal first.

ALSO READ: 6 Common Long Distance Relationship Problems and their Solutions

2. Once you’re both ready, don’t leave any topic untouched.

Once you’re ready to talk about what happened, make sure you resolve every doubt and answer every question that came out of the argument. If these issues are unaddressed, it will just be a matter of time until they come back to haunt your relationship again.

3. Avoid mentioning anything that can trigger another argument.

Never start another argument while talking about the lessons that you learned from your previous fight. Instead, ensure that you are in an understanding and cooperative mood rather than in a defensive and overly-sensitive state. Remember, you’re talking about the issue for it not to happen again – not to start another fight and prove that your partner was at fault.

4. Explain your side and let your partner talk about his, too.

Make sure that both of your sides were discussed and understood. Don’t dominate the conversation. Just admit the fact that both of you were at fault. Give each other a chance to explain and understand why you both did what you did.

How to Fix a Long Distance Relationship After a Fight
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5. Stop trying to blame your partner alone.

While your partner’s action may have caused the fight, it doesn’t mean that they should be solely blamed for what happened. What if how you reacted also made the situation worse? What if your inability to listen made the argument more draining? What if your words made it toxic and hurtful?

6. Talk about preventive measures to stop igniting a similar fight.

Make sure that the cause of your argument and misunderstanding won’t happen again in the future because aside from the fact that it can be draining, it can slowly kill an already dying long-distance relationship.

Remember that you are so far away from each other and arguing about the same topics can make your partner feel that your relationship is not going anywhere but down.

7. Remind them how much they are loved and how they matter.

Any fight can make your partner feel unloved and alone, so make sure that regardless of what happened, you assure them that it did not cause your love for them to fade away.

Remind them that even after this misunderstanding, you still want them as partners, friends, and life companions.

ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Show Love in a Long Distance Relationship

8. Appreciate their patience and their understanding of what happened.

Appreciate the effort that they made to fix the relationship, especially after the fight. You are both human beings capable of making mistakes, and what matters is you learn from them and do something to make sure that they won’t ruin your love story again.

9. Learn your lessons and make sure to remember them.

Sometimes, fights are reminders that no matter how much you love each other, there will always be challenges along the way. These circumstances are not a waste of time and emotion. Instead, they are lessons that you should always learn from.

10. Make an effort and do something to make up for what happened.

Just like how your partner made an effort to try and fix the relationship after a fight, do your part and make them feel that what you have together is important to you.

Do something sweet or special, or maybe send them something that will cheer them up.

11. Do everything to bring back the sweetness in your relationship.

Don’t let the fight become the most dominant memory you have while away from each other. Instead, do everything to bring back the love, the sweetness and the romance in your relationship.

Remind them of your love story and how you fell in love. Remind them that your relationship is not there to hurt them, but it’s there to make them happy.

How to Fix a Long Distance Relationship After a Fight
Photo by Schwoaze

12. Finally, apologize for hurting each other.

Last but the most crucial advice is to make a sincere and genuine apology for what happened. Apologize for the hurtful things that you said just because you were hurt and angry. Say sorry about what you did just because you did not know how they would make your partner feel. Apologize for your immature decisions and how you reacted.

This part is essential because it shows that you are willing to be vulnerable, open up, and admit that you did something wrong. It also shows that you genuinely love your partner because you are willing to admit that you’re an imperfect human being.

Remember that after a fight, it’s not easy to forgive and forget right away. In addition, emotions during and after an intense fight can be overwhelming and can leave some people numb to the point that they’re unsure about what to say or how to feel.

However, never doubt your partner’s love for you just because they don’t want to talk or they choose to stay quiet first. Instead, respect their silence and give them enough time to recover.

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ALSO READ:

25 Pieces of Advice Couples in a Long Distance Relationship Should Know

Charm Villalon
Charm is a writer and a student. She is currently completing her Graduate Degree in Language Studies while refining her creativity and related skills through the visual arts: drawing and painting.
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Dalila Mendoza Lux
Dalila Mendoza Lux
January 8, 2021 2:18 pm

Hi My name is Dalila, and I’m in a long Distance Relationship and we’re been dating for like three mouth and the last day that we were Connected it was around November the last text he sent me is that he crashed his phone and it was since that day. So I texted him a lots of time but he didn’t answer me back. I don’t know what to do could you guys help me.

Deepalakshmi
Deepalakshmi
December 21, 2020 11:45 am

My boyfriend is not talk to me after the fight . No call, no msg what can I do . We are in LDR. Please give some ideas.

Melvin
Melvin
December 8, 2020 10:37 am

Hi I have been in a LDR for four years now and we happened to meet a few days ago..the problem is,he found a certain message in my phone which made him angry and he left immediately…it’s hard to convince him about nothing much on the message but he seems not to believe me..am afraid he’s losing trust in me anymore

Devina
Devina
December 2, 2020 3:00 pm

I’m in long distance relationship, i was so angry that my boyfriend hide some things from me on top and I felt like he betrayed me I decided to break-up with him Took and blocked him but the next day for his birthday i just called him and wished him well and blocked him again but i can’t stay without him so again call him and now he is angry with me for not giving him time for his birthday. I don’t know how to convince him. Please help.

Anna
Anna
October 8, 2020 3:04 am

M in a long distance relationship for 3 years. Living happily. But to my surprise he started avoiding me from June till October when he opened up Blaming me for causing fights. Yet he never fulfilled his promises, trying reaching him is all in vein. He is playing a blame game on me. Ve decided to give him a distance.

Roseline Dweh Dormeyan
Roseline Dweh Dormeyan
August 3, 2020 10:26 pm

My distance relationship had been very happy until I lied about a call bcuz my partner don’t like it when calls are coming in when we’re on the line so a guy called me and I said it was a lady he told me to screen shot it and show it to him which I couldn’t do bcuz I was afraid that seeing a male call would had made him to think I’m dating someone else but at the end I told him it was a male and now he’s avoiding me and pretending that he’s not angry but I know that he’s angry and not making time like before for conversation

Mia
Mia
July 19, 2020 10:04 am

Hi there I’m in long distance relationship. I’m single Mum with beautiful daughter and my partner is single never married. Everything was going well so until now and all sudden I asked him questions a month ago that are you sure you don’t have any problem that my daughter living with me too? And he replied I don’t know … after month I was keep asking him that did you think about my question … at the end he replied I don’t know… I don’t think I can accept your daughter…As his parents never agreed that we both get married because of I’m single mum.
And we had huge fight on that like why you never thought in last 2 years.. I know it was my fault as I was fighting with him ….And I was the one who was asking for clarification…. but I don’t know what to do ? Because he is 100% perfect … we never had that serious fight in last 2 years … I don’t understand I should talk to him or what ?

Ryleigh Nicole Lemanczyk
Ryleigh Nicole Lemanczyk
June 15, 2020 2:09 am

Hi ive been in a long distance relationship for about a year now and we keep fighting over petty stuff. any advice

Elizabeth
Elizabeth
April 21, 2020 3:20 pm

Hi iv been in a long distance relationship for all most a year now.but one day I text my boyfriend for the whole day he didn’t reply and I saw he was online so I called him like twice and he didn’t pick his call .so I waited for some hrs for him to call back but he didn’t. I got angry and blocked him on both Face book and what sap. And later same day I unblocked him and he’s angry that am giving him attitude by blocking him. Pls I don’t know what else to do so we can continue talking.

Amna
Amna
April 11, 2020 10:29 am

Hi I’m kind of in along distances relationship,the thing is i feel every thing is becoming a routine and it’s getting boring, i told him yesterday that i think that i love more like a friend and I want my feelings back , even though he always says how much he loves me and appreciate me and that’s killing me 💔
What should i do please

Hlamalani
Hlamalani
April 1, 2020 6:01 pm

Hi
I’m in a long distance relationship and working
So my husband used to fight with me all the time, asking me to quit my job

Please help I’m really tired with this matter

Anonymous
Anonymous
March 20, 2020 11:04 am

Our relationship is also a long distance relationship..

He is just a different person, aftr every fights..he avoids me completely.. he blocks me everywhere.. he doesnt even allows me to explain and make an apology. I tried my level best to beat the fight with a call, video call, but he never wants to talk to me aftr our fights.. aftr a week or so..he will come and talk to me.. I never blamed him for his faults.. but I dnt wanna take our fights for a week and sometimes a month too… If we were able to meet, I will surely apologize him..no option for that… Aftr our fights, I will asks him..tell me the way that I can solve u..while our fights… He always asks me to find one…. But I couldnt find a way… Please help me….. Resolve this..so that our fights wont ruin our relationship!

Portia
Portia
February 20, 2020 12:54 pm

Hi, I’m in a long distance relationship and this is my first time so i feel like my partner is cheating on me because he’s shouting at me and saying bad things to me through the phone…..

So what should i do😭😭😭😭 please help me

Harini
Harini
January 30, 2020 7:26 am

I’m in long distance relationship he have thinking me that something different in me…then he talk badwords to me n he told me that we no need chat for few days…then the nite I text him..he blocked me on watsap…so wat should I do for this pls help me.😭

Cyeo
Cyeo
Reply to  Harini
April 22, 2020 8:29 am

Give him space and time. About 1-3weeks. If he doesn’t come back, forget him.

akon
akon
Reply to  Harini
April 25, 2020 6:26 pm

There can be a lot of things you can do to get him back.
Why not start with improving your grammer and spellings first?

Morgan Mathula
Morgan Mathula
January 26, 2020 6:09 am

Hello I’m Morgan I’ve been in a LDR for 3 years and I’ve bad mouthed my girlfriend of cheating to her aunt and neighborhood so how do I apologize and convince her I still want to marry and have a happy family with her, please help me.

Cori
Cori
Reply to  Morgan Mathula
April 22, 2020 8:28 am

Just give her time to prove that you didn’t mean to do those things. Send her things occasionally. Send a text once in a while to let her know you are always checking on her.

ATOMICGHOST
ATOMICGHOST
November 15, 2019 8:25 pm

Yeah you can…the question is does that person love you the same way you do cause if that is different then chances a very bit low

Elizabeth
Elizabeth
July 19, 2019 6:21 pm

Hi, I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my ex for four months and we were really happy and if there was a problem we would fix it. But one day I worded stuff wrong. I just want to know if there’s any chance to get back with them.

Shini
Shini
Reply to  Elizabeth
December 4, 2020 12:44 pm

Try to convince him in every possible way…. Give him time to recover from tht… Then apologize for wht you’ve done…
.. Then make him realise how much you love him….