16 Ways to Move On When You Still Love Your Ex

walk and move on
Photo by Aleksandr Ledogorov

Letting go of someone you still love is hard to do. You cannot imagine living your life without that person in it. This is why there are people who snap because of too much depression, lose the will to live a productive life, or worst, commit suicide.

However, the fact that you are reading this blog means you want to fight off the pain, move on, and continue living your life. That is a good thing. It may be a hard journey, but at least you are on your way to moving on.

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16 Ways to Move On When You Still Love Your Ex

Here are 16 ways that will help you move even if you still love your ex.

1. Do your best to fight for your love.

If you love the person, a friend once told me, fight for him/her as hard as you can—until you get tired of fighting. Being prideful, I found it foolish. However, I realized she was right. If you really love the person, do not give up on him/her immediately. No matter how stupid it seems, fight for your love. You may fail in getting him/her back, but at least you know you have done your best to save your relationship. This will help you avoid regrets in the future.

2. Accept that s/he is gone.

If fighting for your ex does not bring him/her back, you have to proceed to the next step: acceptance. Since there is nothing you can do to restore your relationship, you have to accept the reality that it is all over. Denying this fact would not help you a bit. That is why you need to condition your mind that s/he is not coming back.

ALSO READ: 14 Signs Your Ex is Over You and Doesn’t Want You Back

3. Think that if you are meant to be, s/he will come back someday.

This is different from holding on. You open yourself to possibilities. To make it easier for you to accept that s/he is gone, believe that someday you will get back together if the two of you are meant to end up with each other. Leave everything to destiny—that is your only hope, whether you like it or not, because you already did your part and nothing happened.

4. Let go of memories and the things that remind you of him/her.

I know this is hard to do, but if you are serious about forgetting the person, you need to courageously let go of everything that connects you, including the memories. Stop reminiscing about your good times together because it would only hurt a lot. Return his/her things, throw or burn those s/he gave you unless keeping them does not affect you much.

ALSO READ: 8 Tips to Let Go of the Past and Move Forward to a Better Life

5. Direct your focus to other important areas in your life.

Life is not all about love and romance. That means you can still live even if you have no boyfriend/girlfriend. Divert your attention to other areas such as career and personality development. Look at how many career-oriented people set aside romance so they can focus on becoming successful. Maybe this kind of perspective can suit you for now.

Ways to Move On When You Still Love Your Ex
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6. Deactivate your social media in the meantime.

One of the temptations of brokenhearted people is stalking their ex. Admit it, you cannot resist the urge of checking the social media accounts of your ex because you miss him/her. You want to know how s/he is doing and if s/he gives away any hint of missing you too. How can you move on, then? To avoid this, decide to go on online hiatus for months or until such time you can resist the temptation already.

7. Stop communicating with his/her family or friends.

You might keep on reaching out to your ex’s relatives or friends, hoping the contact can help you stay close to him/her. It is like asking for reinforcement from them to help you get back together. However, if your ex gets mad knowing about it, then it is a sign you need to stop. Plus, you only make it hard for you to forget him/her.

8. Find someone you can talk to about your feelings.

Having someone who would patiently listen to your whines and cries even if you are only talking about the same thing is therapeutic. At this point, you need less advice. What you need is a listening ear so you can express your feelings without judgment. Find a family member or friend whom you can trust and who understands what you are going through.

9. Do not rush moving on.

I know you want to forget the pain as soon as possible, but it does not happen that way. Be patient with yourself. The more you try to move on faster, the harder it gets. You cannot force a wound to heal fast, right? The moment you think it has healed because it already dried up and you peel its skin, blood comes out again.

10. Avoid being alone.

Depression is a common effect of heartbreak—and you probably know how it can be devastating. To avoid getting depressed or to overcome it, always surround yourself with people. If you are staying in your own place alone, find a friend to stay with you for a while, or if possible, go home to your family. They will surely understand.

ALSO READ: 16 Ways How Not to Be Sad All the Time

11. Be physically active.

I have been repeating this in my other blogs—you should engage in physical activities. Do regular exercise or find a sport you can enjoy. Aside from the enjoyment, which helps you forget about your pain for the moment, it will help your body release endorphin—a pain reliever hormone.

Ways to Move On When You Still Love Your Ex
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12. focus on other people important to you.

Your ex is not the only person you love. You still have your family and friends. Just direct your effort and care to these people. They are the ones who stay with you at this hard time, so they deserve to be treated special. Spend time with them, especially your family.

13. Focus on loving yourself.

Aside from your family and friends, you, yourself, deserve your love as well. Instead of thinking you are unlovable because your ex left you, be the first one to encourage yourself. Eat healthily, get enough sleep, and avoid stress so that you will stay fit. Pamper yourself and be attractive—not for anyone else but yourself.

14. Find a new passion.

Romance is not the only thing that can keep you passionate. Discover your talents and interests. Use this opportunity to find what you are good at. Maybe you can have a new hobby like painting or playing instruments. Focus your thoughts and energy on it so that you will feel productive. This will help you avoid depression.

15. Be happy for your ex.

If you still love your ex, it means you have to be selfless about his/her happiness. Even if it hurts, pray for him/her to be happy in the new chapter of his/her life—even if without you. Love is not self-seeking. You should want the best for the person you love, even if it is a sacrifice on your part.

16. Consciously decide to be happy.

There are bad circumstances you cannot stop from happening because you cannot control everything. However, you can do something about your response to what happens around you. Therefore, instead of allowing depression and loneliness to suffocate you, strengthen your will to decide to be happy. As the cliché goes, happiness is a choice. Decide to look at the bright side always. It is easier said than done, but it is not impossible.

ALSO READ:

There is life after a breakup.

There are still other things you can do even if you have lost the person you love. Do not allow the pain to stop you from living. Live for those who constantly love you. Live to pursue your dreams. Live for yourself.

Online courses recommended for you:

Books recommended for you:

Gift ideas for yourself:

Chinese Translation: 当你还爱着前男/女友时,16种让你放下前进的方法

ALSO READ:

14 Signs Your Ex Still Loves You and Wants You Back

14 Ways to Stay Friends with Your Ex After a Breakup

10 Reasons Why You Can’t Move On From Your Ex

Cyril Abello
Joan is a freelance blogger who loves writing about personal development. She also loves learning and teaching languages. A Communication Arts graduate, she now pursues a masters degree in Language Teaching. She is into mobile photography, writing poems, and reading for leisure.
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Aun
Aun
September 6, 2021 5:53 pm

Number 1 is harmful advice as you never know what the circumstances might be for people.

Fairy Princess
Fairy Princess
Reply to  Aun
November 19, 2021 11:59 am

Sure, there’s a point where fighting for your love turns into being pushy and creepy. But I believe this is honest, necessary advice as long as it’s taken within reason. From personal experience, I wholeheartedly agree that making sure you leave your love with no regrets, making sure you tried your best, is incredibly important for eventually reaching acceptance and closure. IMO, to advise against it is irresponsible.

Kevin Galarza
Kevin Galarza
August 15, 2021 3:01 am

My gf recently broke up with me because we were in a really bad toxic relationship and she got fed off from it. We’ve been in a relationship for almost 2 years and there was even a time when we broke up for almost 3 months but got back because we thought this time would work. But now i know this break up if for good and i’m never getting her back. I love her so much is insaneand i would do anything for her to give me a chance to prove her i can change… The thought of moving on sounds and seems impossible to me, but i will follow this guide to the best of my abilities and see where it takes me.

John Doherty
John Doherty
June 6, 2021 1:30 am

I had to break up with my ex about 10 years ago due to my family’s homophobia. I finally came out publicly and to myself this month (June). Just lost my grandparents last February and am grieving, but it’s all so hard. I love my ex and deeply miss him. I want him to get saved too.