Do you feel jealous when your partner seems too happy hanging around with his or her best friends? Do you feel jealous when you see your boyfriend or girlfriend being extra kind to other people? And, do you feel jealous when you see someone being touchy to your partner and yet your partner seems fine with it? It’s alright to feel jealous, especially if you have reasons to feel that way.
However, too much of anything is bad. While a bit of jealousy can spice up your relationship, a more serious one can cause a series of misunderstandings, fights, and frustrations.
So, you need to find ways to overcome jealousy in order to keep a satisfying and strong relationship with your partner. Here are some of them.
1. Admit that you’re jealous.
Sometimes, you refuse to admit that you’re jealous because you don’t want to look weak; it hurts your ego. However, you need to acknowledge what you’re feeling. You can ignore it, but you can’t always control what you feel. Next thing you know, you already break down because you can’t take it anymore. Hence, be honest to yourself, and admit that you are indeed feeling jealous.
2. Understand the reasons behind your jealousy.
Once you admit that you feel jealous, it’s time for you to understand the factors that made you feel this way. For instance, are you jealous because she’s too close with her boy best friend? Does she seem too friendly to everyone? Or, do you think she’s too perfect for you that you feel insecure and jealous when someone talks to her? Understand the rationale behind your jealousy for you to move on to the next step.
3. Communicate your feelings.
Once you’re able to understand your feeling, you can now talk to your partner about it. Stay calm while expressing your sentiments to avoid any misinterpretation or more serious complication. Your boyfriend or girlfriend may find it cute and feel that you really love him or her, but your partner may also think that you’re being unreasonable. Whatever the result is, take time to talk and listen to each other.
4. Take some form of compromise.
If one of you feels uncomfortable that you always hang out with your “girl” or “boy” friends, then you might need some form of compromise. Agree on what’s acceptable and what is not. If you hang out with friends every day, you might want to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend to tone the meetups down and be sensitive to each other’s feelings. Whatever you have talked about, make sure that it’s consensual.
5. Build more trust.
Meeting new people is inevitable for both of you. Hence, even if there are compromises, you can’t dictate what your boyfriend or girlfriend should and should not do. Rather, build more trust. Trust yourself and your partner. Even when you don’t see what he or she is doing, be confident that your partner will always think of you and how you would feel if he or she would do inappropriate things. Remember that relationships built on trust are the ones that last.
6. Stop overthinking.
Sometimes, overthinking becomes a core of your personality. However, remember that overthinking leads you to creating problems that were actually non-existent. If you keep imagining things that your partner may be doing while he or she’s miles away from you, you might end up feeling mad, jealous, and even depressed. Also, your partner may find it tiring to always explain his or her side even when it’s not necessary. Hence, try to control what’s in your head. Think, but be rational.
7. Keep a journal.
While you’re at the peak of your emotions, you can’t just go to your partner and find yourself shouting at him or her because you can’t contain your jealousy. You need to calm down, and one way for you to do that is to write about your feelings. Channel your creativity, and surprise yourself. You may end up writing a beautiful piece out of your emotions.
8. Work on your insecurities.
While insecurity is not always the reason why a person gets jealous, it is one of the most common sources of jealousy. Be accountable, and work on your insecurities. Value yourself. Never think that you don’t deserve your boyfriend or girlfriend because he or she is too good for you. Remember, you are special, and you are amazing.
9. Use a different perspective.
Try to talk to your close friends, the ones you can trust. Share with them what you feel. Ask if you are being reasonable. Listen to their advice. It would be refreshing to hear another perspective outside of your relationship. You may end up seeing and realizing things that you have missed out before.
10. Stop playing games.
Sometimes, out of anger, you become irrational, and you only want to take revenge to your partner for making you feel jealous. So, you end up doing things that will also make your boyfriend or girlfriend feel jealous. However, that’s not how you solve a problem. In fact, it will only make things worse. So, never play games with your partner. Rather, address the problem head-on.
11. Reaffirm your love for each other.
Sometimes, you tend to make quick decisions that you will later on regret. Instead of bringing up breakup topics, why don’t you reaffirm your love for each other? Give your partner reassuring words. Be more affectionate. Surprise your partner in the most random ways that you can think of. Give your partner no reason to feel jealous at all.
12. Be mature.
Again, you’re an adult; act like one. You can’t just ditch your partner because he or she did not follow what you wanted him or her to do. You know you are better than that, and you know that there are always ways to fix the problems in your relationship.
ALSO READ: 10 Ways to be More Mature in a Relationship
Indeed, nothing worth having comes easy. There are times that your relationship will be tested; jealousy is just one of these challenges. But, remember that your love is stronger. It will prevail.
Related Article: 12 Ways to Stop being a Jealous Boyfriend