When you do go out on a date and your end goal is to get in a relationship, you just don’t want to fail. Who doesn’t want to start the happily-ever-after right away? Though there’s no clear cut manual in dating, keeping these items in mind can help you make your date a successful one:
The 5 Do’s of Dating
1. Do make your boundaries clear.
How do you take dating? For some, dating multiple persons within the same time frame is normal unless there’s been an agreement that they are entering the exclusive dating stage, the stage where you date only one person. On the contrary, there are others who feel cheated when they learn that their date is seeing someone else. These differences considered, you should make this boundary clear.
2. Show interest and be interested with your date.
Probe more on your date’s story, and don’t just wait for him or her to finish so you can start with yours. Saying “Oh really? Well for me..” sends a message that goes something like “Good thing you’re done. Now here’s my interesting story”. Ask questions that require more than a yes and a no as an answer, and remember that paraphrasing does the trick of showing you listened well. You’re not in an interview, so everything should not be about you.
3. Stay true to yourself.
If you don’t own a car, don’t borrow one just to impress your date. If you’re not a bookworm, don’t memorize the plot of a book to pretend you are. Don’t make your date fall in love with someone you just created. Your facade will fade, and so will your date’s love for the one that’s fake.
4. Do manage your time.
Know how you can get to the meeting place on time. As much as possible, avoid saying yes to other commitments if you’ve already said yes to one. Adjust the time before hand if you really can’t make it. Don’t agree with a 7p.m. meeting time if that’s the exact time you’re leaving the office. Wasting your date’s time may give the impression that you don’t value him or her.
5. Know your date’s preferences.
Everyone has his or her own preferences, so when on a date, be observant to know what you should and should not do. Is it okay for your date if you shoulder the bill? For some, that’s sweet, but for others, they find it insulting because it’s as if you’re implying they can’t pay for their own meals. Is it okay if you accompany your date home? For some, it’s okay, but for others, it’s an invasion of privacy. When in doubt, ask. In this way, you’ll be able to respect your date.
The 5 Don’ts of Dating
After knowing the things that you should do, you should also know the things you should not do. What’s the sense of knowing all the needed ingredients in baking a cake if you don’t know when to pull it off from the oven? So, here are the dating don’ts to avoid messing up what you prepared for:
1. Don’t check your cellphone.
You don’t want your date to feel you’re not interested in him or her, so the last thing you’ll want to do is to check your cellphone. If the call is an emergency, excuse yourself, but make sure you’ll be back the soonest possible you can. Or, if you choose to answer the phone in front of your date, make the conversation clear. In this way, your date won’t suspect that you’re talking about him or her. Remember to explain why the call is so important that you actually have to answer it right then and there.
2. Don’t talk about your ex or your failed dates.
Knowing your ex means knowing a lot of things about you, but no, the first date just isn’t the right time to discuss about that topic. It may make your date feel insecure, or it might send the wrong impression that you haven’t moved on and you’ll make a rebound out of your date. Talking about your failed dates is also a no-no. Your date might feel that your standards are too high, or you’re just not good enough.
3. Don’t dress to impress.
Instead, wear something presentable and comfortable. Don’t wear a micro mini skirt that demands you to pull it down with every single movement that you make. Don’t wear too tight polo that’ll give you a hard time breathing. It’s best to focus on getting to know your date than fixing your wardrobe.
4. Don’t be overly confident.
Don’t associate the simple things your date does as signs that he or she likes you. It doesn’t mean that when your date praises something you did, he or she likes you. He or she might just honestly admire what you did. His or her fast reply also isn’t a sign that he or she is head over heels for you. He or she might just have the time and resources to do so. When he or she says that he or she likes the movie you watched, it may really just be about the movies. Don’t jump into conclusions just yet. Save yourself from unnecessary heartbreak.
5. Don’t be desperate.
Remember that you went out on a date to get to know the person and see if he or she can be your potential partner. Don’t show your date that you’re willing to marry literally anyone who said yes for a date. That’s insulting. It’s like you’re telling your date that you like him or her not because of his or her characteristics, but just so you can get in a relationship. Yes, you entered the dating game with settling down as your main goal, but it’s best to discuss about it and open that topic when you’re already in a relationship.
Dating is indeed challenging because no one is the same. Ironically, that’s also the fun of it. Keep in mind those dos and don’ts. Who knows? They might help you keep the “one”.
ALSO READ: 7 Things to Know before Going Out on a Date