Ignoring Her When She Goes Cold: Why It’s Effective and How To Do It

Ignoring Her When She Goes Cold: Why It’s Effective and How To Do It
Photo by islandworks

Does your girlfriend’s silent treatment drive you crazy at times? You’re probably thinking of ignoring her when she goes cold. The question is, should you do it?

If you stop pursuing women, you become more attractive to them unconsciously. Women start seeing you as a high-value man when you don’t actively pursue them. By not chasing them, you position yourself as “above them,” enhancing your desirability.

This approach piques their curiosity, and they become more interested in spending time with and getting to know you. Demonstrating that you know how to handle a woman who suddenly becomes distant showcases your superiority compared to desperate men who would react differently. As a result, you become a more desirable man than she initially thought.

Here are some of the reasons why you should do it:

Teaches Her To Value You

1. It Lets Her Know Her Behavior Is Unacceptable.

If you consistently allow others to treat you in a particular manner, they will persist in doing so. Therefore, setting clear boundaries to distinguish between acceptable and unacceptable conduct is crucial. Failing to do so could inadvertently condone impolite and disrespectful behavior.

Once you convey that being treated poorly without justification is unacceptable, the other person must choose to continue such behavior. If they want to maintain a relationship with you, they must communicate maturely and respectfully when something is amiss.

2. It Shows Her That You Respect Yourself.

The ability to ignore a woman when she’s cold to you reflects how you see your worth. It shows that your self-respect doesn’t allow you to accept disrespect from others.

To be an appealing man, it’s important to exhibit self-esteem by not yielding to a woman’s demands or displaying petulance when she distances herself from you. This conduct suggests that you hold yourself in high regard, irrespective of her views, and as she recognizes this characteristic, she’s more inclined to remain engaged with you.

3. It Discourages Toxic Behavior.

It’s important not to reward someone for treating you poorly or acting against the terms of your relationship. Consider this scenario: She is distant from you for no apparent reason or a trivial matter. In response, you shower her with attention and affection. Is this not equivalent to saying, “Treat me badly so I can pamper you”? This is how it appears to you, and it is likely how she perceives it as well.

A manipulative woman will view this behavior as a vulnerability and manipulate it to her advantage. A non-manipulative woman may subconsciously absorb your reaction and use it to obtain your attention and affection the next time she is upset over something minor. Regardless, this conduct is unhealthy and does not benefit you in any way.

Ignoring Her When She Goes Cold: Why It’s Effective and How To Do It
Photo by Pexels

Teaches You To Value Yourself

4. It Allows You To Define Your Standards.

It’s not only girls who should set standards in choosing the right life partner. Men have the right to look for their ideal partner according to their dream qualities in a woman. Moreover, women are attracted to men with specific qualities and are self-assured in maintaining them. If someone is prepared to make a complete commitment and exert themselves, they should acknowledge their worth and aim to provide something appealing that others would want to come back to.

Therefore, ignoring your girl when she’s cold to you shows her that you are not afraid to lose her if she doesn’t try to treat you right. It sends her that signal that you know what you want in a woman, including the ability to respect you.

5. It Teaches You The Importance Of Self-Preservation.

To be in a relationship with you, a woman must accept you as you choose to portray yourself. By disregarding her, you are implying that there are parts of yourself you are unwilling to disclose and that she may find a better match elsewhere. She can accept the situation or try to get what she desires by confronting you. If she chooses to confront you, it implies that she is dissatisfied with the present state of your relationship.

6. It Reminds You Not To Be Desperate Over A Woman Who Doesn’t Value You.

When a girl loses interest in you, involving being cold most of the time, it could mean she is not attracted to you anymore.  Continuously trying to win her over by giving her excessive attention and treating her as someone special may only irritate her. As mentioned above, people, including women, are more attracted to partners who don’t chase them.

Ignoring her is acknowledging that there is no reason to pursue someone who has no interest in you. Plus, it proves that you are not desperate for her love.

7. It Proves You Can Handle Rejection Well.

Ignoring a woman who has become emotionally distant is a recommended approach to dealing with the situation. By accepting rejection with composure, women will admire you and feel drawn to your conduct when they rekindle their interests. When a woman understands that you are not easily frightened away, she will start acknowledging and appreciating your limits sooner.

Proper Way To Do This

You might be worried that ignoring her when she goes cold will only worsen the situation. To accomplish your goal of making her treat you better, here are some tips on how to do it the right way:

1. Limit Your Communication And Don’t Be Needy.

Inquiring about her day may result in her sharing her plans for going out. It is sufficient to respond with a brief “that sounds enjoyable” and avoid prying into the details of her outing and who she will be with.

2. Pay No Attention To Her, But Avoid Going Too Far.

Try ignoring her when she ignores you. Don’t initiate conversations with. However, respond whenever she talks to you first. If she asks about something, reply, but don’t try to prolong the conversation.

3. Don’t Make Excuses To Approach Her.

Avoid looking for justifications to start a conversation with her, as this is an immature tactic that she will quickly discover. Don’t initiate contact with no valid reason other than to make her talk with you.

Ignoring Her When She Goes Cold: Why It’s Effective and How To Do It
Photo by palacioerick

4. Avoid The Urge To Reply To Her Messages Immediately Or Every Time.

This is one of the weaknesses of those who struggle with moody partners. If you easily give in to your girlfriend every time she messages you, she will think she has power over you. Allow her to wait for your response, and do not feel obligated to answer every message you receive from her.

Final Thoughts

One way to prevent disrespectful behavior from your girl is to ignore her when she becomes distant. This can set clear boundaries and show that you have self-respect. However, it’s important to use this approach appropriately and not to manipulate or behave immaturely.

Ignoring her cold behavior should only be an option if it’s unjustified and attempts to understand her behavior are met with hostility or disrespect. It may be difficult to distance yourself, but it’s necessary if the behavior is unwarranted. If your partner is mature and values the relationship, she will reach out to resolve the issue and acknowledge her negative behavior. Remember, respect is vital to loving, and a woman cannot genuinely love someone she doesn’t respect.

Online courses recommended for you:

Books recommended for you:


18 Noticeable Signs She Doesn’t Care About You

Cyril Abello
Joan is a freelance blogger who loves writing about personal development. She also loves learning and teaching languages. A Communication Arts graduate, she now pursues a masters degree in Language Teaching. She is into mobile photography, writing poems, and reading for leisure.
Notify of

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments