According to Elton John, “sorry seems to be the hardest word.” Well, it’s true, especially in relationships. During a fight, no matter how petty the issue is, nobody would want to take the fault and sorry. This is common, but normal too. It’s because when we are in a relationship, we always think about the best intentions, and we tend to hold on to our decisions under the notion that we are right –even if we’re not.
But admitting faults and apologizing to each other after a fight is essential for you to patch things up and make everything okay again. You and your significant other need to understand the beauty of saying sorry because if you don’t, you will only end up hurting each other even more.
Here are 8 ways to apologize to your boyfriend or girlfriend if you are having a hard time apologizing to your partner after a fight:
1. Speak up.
When in a fight, you either blab about your partner’s faults then shut up about yours. You’d rather take the blame but not own up to your mistake until the issue dies down and in a subsequent argument, you can use this supposedly closed issue to throw back to your partner.
Doing this only leads to the downfall of your relationship in a bitter manner. You can save yourself, your partner, and your relationship from this unnecessary by speaking up in a clear manner, until finally you are able to say the magic words: “I’m sorry.” By telling them that you are indeed sorry, the more open they become in making amends.
2. Just be blunt.
When in a fight, it is recommended that you be blunt rather than trying to sugar-coat your stand in the issue. This only insinuates that you are hiding something, and the more this will hurt your boyfriend or girlfriend. After all, they deserve not only to know the truth but also your real feelings towards the issue.
3. Lend your ears.
Another way to show that you are sorry for what happened is by listening to what your partner is saying. You just don’t hear their words, but digest their opinions and their narratives as well. By listening, you acknowledge your partner’s side of the story, and it will also give them the impression that you value their statements and intend to resolve the problem together.
4. Keep your explanation about the issue itself.
When saying sorry, you not only have to say the word itself, but also follow up with an explanation of your side. However, you don’t have to bring up past misgivings and faults done by your partner –just your whole opinion about the matter and how you intend to solve it.
It doesn’t help that use precedents when in an argument because it will only make it seem like you are counting your partner’s faults and that they have to continuously pay for what they did. Doing this does not vindicate you; it only deepens the wounds that you have brought to each other.
5. Give each other some space.
It is normal that after a heated argument and saying each other’s statements, one of you would not want to continue talking. In this light, let your partner spend time away for a while. Let them cool down and reflect on things. You need the same thing too, as during this time there are a lot of emotions that have been playing in your heart, and you need to flush these feelings out as well.
Space helps because it allows you to realize certain details and of course, the bigger picture. You can make better decisions and deal with the situation in a clearer and more organized manner as well. Your partner will feel the same way too.
6. Give a makeup present.
When making an apology, it is also best to say it with a present. Makeup presents need not be expensive, as it is the thought that counts most of all. You may want to cook something special for your partner, or treat them out on a date, or do something that you haven’t done together in a very long time.
Let this be the time for you two to relax and enjoy each other’s company again after the fight.
7. Be sincere.
When making gestures of apology, you, of course, have to be sincere, both in your words and in your actions. When you are at fault and have owned up to your mistake, the last thing you want to happen is be caught doing the same mistake again.
If you have promised not to do the said mistake, mean it. Actions always speak louder than words, and it would also be easier for your partner to catch you red-handed because even after you have said sorry, they better they become in sensing that you are doing something wrong. Don’t let the paranoia get the best in your relationship, as it sooner gets the rest of it too.
ALSO READ: 10 Ways to be Sincere in a Relationship
8. Accept the outcome of your apology.
Perhaps the most difficult part of making an apology is accepting the decision of your partner, the party you’ve hurt. It would also hurt you more when you don’t get the response you are expecting, i.e. them saying it’s okay and they have forgiven you. But this happens.
You must understand that accepting an apology, and more importantly, forgiving someone, takes time, effort, and a lot of emotional investment. It would also be difficult for your partner to do this because he or she is reminded that the person who has hurt them is the same person they love the most. Hence, you must learn to accept outcomes and respect their decisions. If they say they cannot accept your sorry just yet, then live with it.
Time heals all wounds, says a popular cliché. When in a fight and you know you have hurt your partner, say you’re sorry and that you mean it. And let them feel your apology. After some time, you and your partner will be all right –and even stronger as a couple than ever before.