Being shy can affect how you accomplish simple to complex day to day activities. In fact, this constant lack of confidence in yourself may eventually be an obstacle in achieving your goals in life in the long run. As a form of introversion, this can be the reason why you don’t interact with other people often, why you don’t try new things and also the primary culprit that kills your every chance to self-growth. So what can you do about it?
First of all, it’s important to understand that shyness is not something you can remove from your system in an instant and it’s not easy to change someone’s perspective and the feelings that go with it. How we think is affected and influenced by many things. It takes time to convince yourself that you’ll be okay, that everything’s just fine. It will be a constant battle with yourself but once you’ve decided to be brave, it will be worth it; It’s liberating and you’ll be able to do so much more.
So if you ever need something to start with, here are a few inspiring tips to overcome shyness.
1. Find the root cause of the problem.
Understanding the reason behind your behaviour and feelings is important for change. You won’t be able to solve your problem if you don’t know where to start. Reflect and ask yourself why you’re feeling that way. List down all the reasons if you must and think on how to make it better.
2. Appreciate yourself.
Do you bake delicious pastries? Are you good at calligraphy? Think of all the good things and success you’ve achieved. Praise yourself for even the smallest achievement and be confident. Because the first person that should feel proud of you is yourself.
3. Stop being self-conscious.
If you think other people are going to look at you and think of something bad about you, stop. They have their own lives and you can’t control them. They might stare at you or talk about you but it won’t last forever. Focus on the things that you can control such as your reactions and attitude instead of things that you can’t change.
4. Don’t overthink.
Our fears are the products of our minds. If you’re always afraid that you might fail or be a disappointment, take it easy. Breathe and try not to focus on the negative. Concentrate on what you have to do and assure yourself that you’ll be fine. Every day is not a bad day and not everyone is out there to get you. You have to trust yourself and other people.
5. Take care of your body.
The reason why you are feeling shy is because you are not confident about yourself and what you have or don’t have. Your body’s condition affect your mood and how you behave. Having a healthy body and mind is necessary to feel good about one’s self. So, try an exercise or a physical activity to strengthen your body, eat healthy, relax your mind and make an effort to be physically and mentally healthy.
6. Dress up and look good.
Find a fashion style that you like and wear it. Change your hairstyle or hair color. Wear makeup if it will make you feel more confident. Wear a nice pair of shoes. Get that denim jacket you’ve been hesitating to buy because you’re worried that you might not look good in it. Find what you’re comfortable with because it’s all about feeling good about yourself.
7. Connect with friends and family.
One of the reasons why you are shy is because you don’t feel that you belong to a group. You feel like an outsider and alone. Remember that you have your family and friends. Talk to them more often and plan gatherings. Don’t be afraid to start a conversation and ask questions.
8. Do an activity alone.
If you feel anxious whenever you go to the counter to order your food, or hesitate to ask the waiter for a glass of water, try practicing. Go to a restaurant or café alone and order something. This way, you will be accustomed to being in a public place and eventually you will realize that you can do things on your own without feeling conscious and worried.
9. Join group activities.
To overcome your fear of interacting with other people, why not put yourself in a situation where you can’t avoid having to talk to someone? Join a group tour or a yoga class. This way, you will be forced to interact with them and improve your social and communication skills.
10. Remove toxic people in your life.
Sometimes the reason why you don’t feel confident about yourself is because of the people around you. If your friends always treat you as if you’re someone less and inferior to them, it’s time to pack your bags. You have to surround yourself with people who appreciate you and think of you as equal and as special as them. You don’t need to be around someone who always puts you down and make you feel bad about yourself.
11. Lastly, don’t rush things up.
Don’t be disappointed if you can’t do something immediately. Don’t lose hope if you can’t say hi to the person that you admire. Don’t force yourself to like or do something that you’re not comfortable with – because you can’t change a person overnight. Take your time to learn about yourself and about other people. Be kind to yourself by giving time to adjust to a life that you’ve been wanting to have and to the version of yourself that you think is ideal.
Essentially, courage, determination and self-love are the keys to successfully overcoming shyness. It’s also important that you understand the gravity of the effects of this lack of confidence you have to you and the people around. Never forget that in order to have the power to change, you have to have the willingness to try. You will have to face your fears and a lot of challenges to be a more confident and stronger person.
Most importantly, you have to trust yourself that you can do it. You can be what you want to be and do what you want to do because it’s your life and you’re in control.
Photo by Auskteez Tran