The feelings of fulfillment and satisfaction in one’s life can make us the happiest person on earth – and it doesn’t mean that you have to have all the money in the world, or to follow most people’s definition of success. Beyond a seven-digit bank account and a title beside your name, being fulfilled and happy as an individual only takes one simple rule: celebrate life and have the right perspective to accept its imperfections.
However, in people’s endless and challenging search just to find the happiness that they think they deserve, so many of them end up taking the wrong and opposite road to frustration and disappointment – and this is where bitterness in a person bears its toxic fruits.
Undeniably, bitterness can hinder anyone from living a happy and fulfilled life and it’s important that you know if you, too, are losing your way.
So what are the signs you are bitter and how can you stop this negativity from sabotaging the good life that you deserve?
Here are the signals that you should be aware of.
1. You think you deserve more than what you get – in life and love.
Do you often wonder why your coworker got that promotion and you didn’t? How about when a friend landed that cool job while you’re stuck with what you consider as a “boring” career? Do you feel envy when you see your friends with their romantic partners happy in their relationship? Do you feel like it’s you who should be enjoying a happier love life, not them, since you think you’re the one who knows more how to love – and you believe it’s unfair that you’re just stuck and glued in “singlehood”?
It’s normal to want something that we think we deserve but the question is, what are the steps that you’re taking to really get them? Are you making the necessary effort to be worthy of that job upgrade? Are you working hard enough to hone your skills and finally get that dream job of yours? And are you really making big sacrifices and fearlessly facing all challenges to get the love that you want?
2. You don’t feel satisfied with your present achievements.
In relation to the first one, not feeling satisfied with life in general can be normal but if you have that constant feeling of being disappointed with what you have in every aspect of your life, then you’ll know something has to change.
Take life one step at a time. Every successful person took their time and just did their part in every stage of the path that they have chosen. Good things only come to those who work really hard for it.
If you’re not satisfied with your current job, do your best to impress your boss to get a promotion. If you’re not happy with the relationship you have with your significant other, be patient and constantly make efforts to grow that relationship into a stronger and more mature one.
3. You think everyone is out to get you.
Most people who take life from this perspective often think that everything people do is an elaborate plan to make them miserable. The truth is, even if the world is against you at times, there will always be people who will have your back.
Break all those walls that you have built around yourself and let people in. Have a little faith in others and give them a chance to show that they’re here to guide and help us out.
4. You don’t appreciate how good people treat you.
People who are bitter are often blind to how others love and care about them. Sometimes, they don’t even realize how good people treat them and would often go on a defensive stance when their friends try to give them an advice.
Appreciate your friends and remember that their advice are not meant to harm you. They’re called “friends” for a reason.
5. You don’t acknowledge other people’s skills.
How many times have you told someone that they’re good at what they do? Are praises and commendations part of your vocabulary? When was the last time you gave someone the thumbs up?
There are billions of people around the world and even if you just get to meet hundreds of them, there will always be others who will be better than you in terms of skills and talent. It’s important that you accept this limitation and take inspiration from the more talented and skilled individuals that you meet.
6. It’s hard for you to congratulate your friends on their success.
Is it hard to have fun in someone’s celebration? How about to host a party for a friend who just got promoted? Or just be there when your gang have finally closed that life-changing deal? Not being able to be happy about other’s success is a clear sign of bitterness.
If you are in this level of negativity, the best and only way to cope is to respect and admire anyone in your life who managed to fulfill their dreams. Take part in that celebration because you’ve also been a part of their journey.
7. You communicate to criticize, not to engage.
How are you in an argument or even just in a normal discussion? Do you converse to correct and impose your own ideas or do you listen and positively contribute to the conversation?
People can be competitive but individuals who feel bitterness either towards their own life or towards others have the tendency to dominate and destroy even in non-aggressive instances and neutral environment.
In conversations, whether it is a peaceful discussion or a heated argument, it is essential to have the calmness when expressing your stance and respect towards the other person.
8. You dislike cheerful and confident individuals.
What do you think about your overly enthusiastic and cheerful friends? Do you find them annoying and not really that “fun” to be with? Does their positivity bother you to the point of disliking their mere presence? You’re not alone but it doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.
People are different in many ways but all of us equally suffer from what reality has to offer: failures, heartbreaks, frustrations, etc. However, not many of us have the ability to look at the bright side and still manage to smile despite the trials that we have to face every day.
Think of it this way: your cheerful and optimistic friends are one of the reminders that no matter how bad life treats you, it’s always the best choice to smile and just laugh it all out.
Learn to appreciate the things around you
Bitterness is an illness of the mind and the absence of the core values that define a happy life can lead anyone astray. However, it’s okay to feel the negativities around you but you have to snap out of them as soon as you can before it’s too late.
The only thing that you have to remember is to have a right appreciation of things and people. They are put in this life not only to make a better world but also to help you in your journey to true and genuine happiness.
Photo by SplitShire