Compassion is characterized by strong feelings of unconditional love, genuine sympathy and a strong willingness to help others. It is one of the qualities that make the world a better place – and the same quality can also help create a strong romantic relationship built on kindness and sincere love between two people.
Compassion can be learned and applied in any situation, and being compassionate especially if you are in a relationship can be the most beautiful gesture that you can offer to the person you love.
If you want to create a happier life with your partner, learn the ways to be compassionate in a relationship. Here they are.
1. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes.
If you want to learn to be compassionate in your romantic relationship, you have to look at things from your partner’s perspective. Start by visualizing yourself in your partner’s position. Just by thinking about how your significant other would respond to kindness and other loving gestures, it would already inspire you to be a better person – the same way about how they would react to betrayals and hurtful words.
By doing this exercise as often as possible, you’ll understand better how your partner is feeling and you’ll try to be more sensitive and considerate. You’ll start doing the things that can make her happy and you’ll avoid the ones that can make her feel bad.
2. Think before you speak.
Words can be the most powerful weapons in the relationship and when you use them to hurt someone, they dig deeper wounds – wounds that could take years to fully heal. They also leave dark marks that will linger for a while, reminding your partner of the things that they have suffered from.
That’s why whenever you’re about to say something, especially when you’re feeling mad or angry, think and evaluate them first. Is it necessary to say those words or are you just going to say them because you’re emotional and frustrated? Will they make the situation better or worse? Be considerate and always weigh your words before actually saying them.
3. Don’t be self-centered.
Selfishness is a characteristic that is not suitable for a person who wants to have a successful relationship nor for someone who wants to be more compassionate. You must not always think about yourself when you have someone who needs your support, love, and care.
You must be considerate and sensitive to your partner’s wants, needs and even to the things that he/she dislike. You have the right to think about yourself but it’s your responsibility to take care of your partner as well. Just finding the balance between self-love and selfless love can go a long way.
4. Make it a habit to ask questions.
A person’s mind can be both confusing and complicated – and humans are not equipped to read and know what another person is thinking. That is why, whenever something is not clear, make an effort to ask – and ask the right questions.
When you don’t know how your partner is feeling, ask. Don’t just assume that everything is okay – nor make your conclusions about why things are not okay. It won’t hurt to ask if something’s bothering them or if they’re unhappy with something.
It’s better to actually hear it from them than to just assume. If you do this, they’ll feel that you care and that you’re worried – which is better than just making assumptions that might cause additional misunderstandings.
5. Accept and understand your differences.
What works for you may or may not work for them. Your beliefs, perspectives, and the way you do things can be different from your partner’s. Respect those differences and don’t force them to do things on your own terms.
A compassionate person has the ability to see through these differences and focus more on how they make the relationship more exciting and interesting without worrying about conflicts and misunderstanding. Moreover, compassion will teach you to understand and accept someone without judgment and prejudice.
6. Appreciate the little things.
Whatever it is that they do for you, you should always be thankful for their efforts. Compassionate people are always grateful and appreciative of what others can do for them. They are accepting and open to the goodness of life so that they, too, can share the same positivity to others.
It’s always nice to hear a ‘thank you’ from the person you love especially if you worked so hard to do something for them. So whenever your partner makes a cup of coffee for you or massages your back after a long day at work, say “thank you” to them. Share this positivity every day and you’ll see how they can easily turn bad days into good ones.
7. Always choose kindness.
Whenever something bad happens, always choose to be kind even if you’re hurt or angry. While this is so difficult to do, think about what responding negatively can do to your relationship? Would you answer anger with anger? Would you fight negativity with negativity? Remember that you are not fighting against each other. Rather, you are on the same side – and your partner is not the enemy here.
Your goal in your relationship is not to compete or inflict pain and suffering on each other. Your aim is to protect each other, to make each other happy, and to fight the challenges of life as allies. So, choose kindness especially during the times when it’s hard to be kind.
8. Choose love over hate.
Love is the ultimate seed of compassion and you should always choose love over other things, especially in your relationship. Love is so pure and powerful that it can help even the most hateful person change for the better. To be more compassionate in your relationship, you have to accept love in your heart – no matter how hurt, betrayed or heartbroken you feel.
Healthy relationships are made up of two people who value the qualities and characteristics derived from compassion. Their bonds are so strong and pure that when life gives them a reason to be hateful, unkind, and bitter, they still choose to be compassionate and to be kind. Hopefully, these pieces of advice will help you grant the same power and strength in your own love story.