Have you ever tried so hard to achieve something but always end up failing because someone did their best to prevent it? Have you ever been so successful only to find out that some people are not happy about what you have accomplished? Fortunately, not everyone experiences these frustrating scenarios but other unfortunate souls often become victims of this type of negativity brought about by some who apparently find pleasure in putting others down.
Crab mentality, also known as “crabs in the bucket”, is a metaphor that describes a person’s pattern of thinking specifically how one tries to either impede the success of another or undermine one’s achievement by finding faults and flaws in the other person’s feat.
For instance, people with crab mentality often follow a thought pattern that, if they can’t have something, neither can other people – just like a bucket full of crabs: some will try to climb up to freedom but the others left behind will just pull them down.
If you happen to have an ill-fated encounter with people with crab mentality, what would you do? Would you respond in anger and bombard them with the same condemnation? This situation can be frustrating but don’t let it ruin your inner peace. How? This article will help you out.
These are the most “mature” and effective ways to deal with people with crab mentality.
1. Let your success speak for itself.
Most of the time, people with crab mentality prey on the hardworking individuals who truly deserve their success. Although untruthful, their words might hurt you or your family members but remember this: your success will effortlessly protect you from these ill-wishers. In fact, you don’t have to do anything. Just do what you have to do and let your accomplishments do the talking.
2. Be optimistic.
Encounter with these crabs can often causes anxiety and self-doubt. It’s a natural response to stressful situations involving other people but luckily, you can fight back. How? Just always think positive and if there are times when you can’t find a single ounce of optimism, look back and remember why you started.
3. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Negative comments and setbacks caused by other people can disrupt your everyday life but don’t let them hinder you from doing what needs to be done. Learning how to focus and concentrating on your actual goals can help you be more productive and doing so will create a clearer vision of the future.
4. Be yourself.
You don’t have to please everyone and you absolutely don’t have to change just to be acceptable to other people. Staying true to what you are and following your goals without minding other’s opinion will not only boost your confidence but it will also help you become a better person for the right people.
5. Be a good example.
You don’t have to throw rocks at people who have been aggressively throwing pebbles at you. Be a good example and counter negativity with your optimism; be a good example even to others who don’t approve of your success; be a great example to those who are lost in their insecurities and teach them how to handle pressure with grace.
6. Love what you do
There are times when you’ll feel hopeless and unwanted because of what others do and say against you. However, you don’t have to keep drowning in self-doubt just because some people aren’t happy about what you have achieved. The best counterattack to bashers and crabs is simple: love what you do. Celebrate your success. Don’t just show it, live it.
7. Accept failure as part of the process.
No matter how successful you are, there will always be a time when you’ll experience failure and people with crab mentality will exhaust every available opportunity they have just to pull you down – to the lowest pit of failure. Should you let them win? You already know the answer to that. What you need to remember however is, failure is a vital part of success. Failure and how you deal with it will determine how strong you are. Have faith in yourself and believe that you are invincible. Stand up. It’s not too late to start again.
8. Value good friendships.
Find the right people and value them. You don’t have to face everything alone and having good friends who will remind you to be strong, to be yourself and to not give up the fight, is the best armor that you can have against the selfish crabs.
9. Have a little faith in people.
It’s understandable if you start being cautious and selective when it comes to meeting new people or befriending old ones. Don’t let those crabs make you a hateful and anxious person. There are millions of people in the world and not every one of them wishes you harm. Some are good and some are just misunderstood. Have a little faith and be open to new social encounters.
10. Treasure your inner peace.
There are times when you’ve had enough of these crabs in a barrel and you just want to explode but don’t give them that pleasure to see you lose your cool. The best way to deal with them is to just ignore them. If it’s not possible, the ironic option that you have left is to just accept them. Accept the fact that there will always be people who will find joy in the failure of others. Accepting something inevitable means finding balance in life’s yin and yang. Achieving that balance means finding your own version of inner peace.
11. Forgive and move on.
Forgive people who have hurt you but never forget the lessons that you have learned from the experience. It’s always better to be the bigger man (or woman) and just let things be. Like failure, consider these crabs in life’s bucket as part of the process. Besides, everything and everyone you meet in life are there to teach you an important lesson.
12. Aim higher.
Just like an eagle, soar higher where you will be untouchable, unreachable by the crabs in the bucket. Teach them how to fly by being the best version of yourself: strong and firm amidst all the criticisms and the negativity that the world has to offer.
You will encounter many kinds of people as you grow older and some of them will greatly affect how you look at the world. For a final piece of advice, keep this in mind: never let the attitude of those who don’t want to see you succeed hinder you from appreciating the other good and better things that this life has to offer.