They say there are three kinds of cherished love: first love, which is usually called puppy love; great love, which would sweep you off your feet; and true love, which may not be as magical as first love nor as thrilling as great love, yet the one that makes your heart at home.
True love is what everyone needs. It is unconditional, reassuring, and secure. It may not be perfect, but it completes the person who has it.
Finding true love
The next time you enter a relationship, see to it that it will be with your true love already. This would save you from heartaches due to being with the wrong person. So, how will you find your true love?
Here are 15 ways to draw you closer to the right person.
1. Start praying for the right person.
Personally, I believe God is the greatest writer of love stories. If we allow Him to guide us in our love life, we can avoid falling for the wrong person. For this reason, I believe that praying for wisdom in this area can help a great deal.
2. Prepare to meet the one by reaching your highest potentials.
You want to end up with the best person, right? Well, ‘best’ is relative, since different people have different concepts of ‘best’. What you need to find is the person who can be best for you.
Of course, that would be unfair if you would expect your true love to be the best for you, but you do not make any effort to be the best for him/her. Therefore, strive to be the best version of yourself. Reach for your dreams and work to improve your weaknesses. This way, it will be easier for you and a prospect partner to determine whether you are perfect for each other or not.
3. Make yourself attractive.
Let us face it. Before you can feel romantic love for a person, you get attracted first. Therefore, making yourself presentable can make it easier for your true love to find you. First, you have to look and smell clean. Next, accentuate your assets or the best parts of your body or face. Then, be creative in improving or at least accepting your flaws (in contrast to hiding them).
4. Find out what you really want in a partner.
Creating a list of the traits that you want your true love to possess will help you assess what kind of partner would suit you. Just bear in mind that there is big chance you cannot find them all in one person—because no one is perfect, right?
The good thing about setting standards is it help you gather the lessons you have learned from dealing with past partners. You recall the traits that do not complement well with yours, which eventually led to broken relationships. If you have never been in a relationship yet, use your experiences in dealing with family and friends of the opposite sex for this.
5. Enlarge your circle of friends and acquaintances.
You get a higher chance of meeting your true love when you constantly meet new people. That is why you need to be more sociable if you are a home buddy. Attend parties thrown by your company or organization. Hang out with your friends as often as possible. Join clubs and organizations too.
6. Be with the right company.
Being at the right place and with the right kind of people will help you meet the right person for you. For this reason, be wise in choosing your circle of friends. Their environment determines the kind of person that surround them.
For instance, if you do not like the party-animal kind of partner, then avoid hanging out a lot with party-animal friends. Friends of the same feather flock together, remember?
7. Stop basing your standards on movies or novels.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but true love in real life is not as overwhelming as when a rich guy falls in love with a poor girl in movies or novels. Real persons in the real world are less grand than main characters in fiction. Therefore, you should stop setting standards that are too good to be true.
8. Do not focus on physical appearance.
Pure love is unconditional. That means you do not base it on how good looking a person is. Do not look for a handsome or beautiful face—it is just a bonus. Instead, look for a person whom you can be comfortable and secure sharing life with. Personality, character, and values should be your primary concern.
9. Find a person whose personality complements yours.
If partners have clashing personalities, the relationship could end because of ‘irreconcilable differences’. Therefore, it is best if your future partner has a personality that matches well with yours. Your personalities should be balanced.
What the other has should supplements what the partner lacks. For example, one of the couple may have brilliant business ideas, but s/he lacks the will power to take actions. His/her partner should have the determination and capabilities to turn those ideas into real business ventures.
10. Look for a person whose set of priorities is same with yours.
Aside from personality, priorities can also affect a relationship. If the couple do not share the same perception about what goes first, then it could create a big problem in the future. For instance, a husband may put family as first in his priority list, but if the wife is more of a career person, then they could have a hard time understanding each other.
11. Find someone who respects you.
It is not enough that a person makes you smile and feel loved. Look for a person who knows how to respect individuals regardless of their age, status, or relationship with him/her. Why is this important? A person who is sensitive to the rights and feelings of others is more likely to be selfless. That means s/he would be careful not to do anything that could hurt you. You are secure with this person.
12. Consider the judgment of your family or friends.
Before jumping into a relationship, it is better if you will introduce the person to your family and friends. The problem when you are in love is you are head over heels. You cannot think straight. For this reason, let the people close to you give you the pieces of their mind.
If your family or friends do not like the person you like, then you have to ask why. Try to see the individual from their point of view, and see if from there you are still eager to pursue the budding relationship.
13. Meet their family and friends.
You will only know the person better if they are in their natural habitat. That means when they are surrounded by the people close to them. Take time to meet their family and friends. Observe how they treat them, and vice versa.
If you see that there is a warm and comfortable relationship between the person and their loved ones, then it could mean they are good at treating them. If the relationship seems cold and distant, then it is something to think about.
14. Test it with time.
Nothing tests love better than time. After the attraction period, which usually lasts for a year, affection between couple is normally tried by conflicts due to the decreased excitement and showing differences. This dilemma could last for up to three years.
In the next years, the relationship could be boring and monotonous, because you have known each other and been together for a long time. That is why many are tempted to look for someone new. If your relationship survives and remains strong after all the years, then it must be real love.
15. Do not let your emotions cloud your decisions.
Like what I mentioned in the previous tip, you cannot think straight when you are in love. Remember, true love is beyond feelings. Do not immediately decide to accept a person into your life. You have to base your decision on many factors. You can refer to the previous tips, and see if the person fits the true love criteria.
Let love find you.
These tips can only help you increase the chance of finding the right person for you. However, there is no formula that can create true love. It just happens beyond conscious effort, and if handled well, it will surely last.
Do not try too hard on finding your true love. Let love find you, instead. And while waiting for it to arrive, focus on loving yourself.
Photo by Bruno Sousa