Going through a breakup is hard. The feeling can be worse than mourning over someone that death took away. This is because you know that your partner left you to live life on their own. For some people, they not just ended up with a broken heart after allowing their relationship, which they have long nurtured, to end in a snap; they ended up as broken persons.
But like all other things that come and go, you should learn how to cope with the loss. It isn’t the end of the world after your relationship goes kaput. You may be seeing yourself in the dark at the moment, but the breakup may only be a start of a better, brighter future-if only you allow it to happen.
The first step to recovering from a breakup is by learning to love yourself again. If you are asking how, then you may want to start with these five simple ways:
1. Cook yourself a hearty meal.
How long has it been since you last cooked your favourite meal? If you can’t remember, it may be because, for the longest time, you’ve been preparing meals for someone else, i.e. your ex.
Okay, you may not know how to cook but in essence, you’ve devoted so much time and effort for the benefit of another person, when in fact those benefits are supposedly just for you to savour.
So why not turn the tables around this time, and start pampering yourself. You may begin by cooking your favourite dish, or getting something for takeout? How about pizza all for yourself?
The point here is, you should start seeing yourself as a person of true, high, value. You may have forgotten your worth already due to your time being taken by someone else, but it’s you now have the choice to treat yourself better and give in the pampering you deserve.
2. Go on a solo trip!
Another way to build a good relationship with yourself again is by going on a solo trip. Yes, explore a tourist spot alone, not with friends or family. Just you.
Among other things, you deserve this. This is your time to get in touch with yourself, and not be hearing other people’s opinions. This is also the opportunity for you to get to know yourself again, after being your ex-partner’s better half for the longest time.
Solo journeys also tell you something new about yourself. You discover new skills and talents, most of them you never knew you had. These are very important because you are able to form a new version of you –stronger, fresher, better you.
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Cleaning up is a good way to work on a fresh start. Aside from getting rid of unnecessary things, you also let go of the items that remind you of the pain of the past. Indeed, we all know letting go can be heavy and you feel you’re not ready for it yet, but once you’ve started, you won’t realize you’re already in the middle of your journey.
Decluttering also makes new room for new memories. You need this because this is the point where you are giving yourself a new chance at life. You wouldn’t want to miss its beauty just because you don’t have enough space to place your milestones and feats, right?
Going on a Mari Kondo-inspired catharsis also allows you to see that there is joy in being with yourself and doing things on your own. You need to be inspired by someone else, or dedicate your life and effort to another person; you just have to give it to yourself.
4. Give yourself a pat on the back whenever needed.
Perhaps your breakup is a cautionary tale for you to start appreciating yourself more. Stop asking yourself what happened that led to the demise of your romance and start working towards a happy, carefree, and relaxed present. You can do this by complimenting yourself, especially when you have achieved something, completed a task, or did something you didn’t know you can.
For example, you’ve finally perfected your pasta recipe. It may have taken several tries, but in this latest version, you got your ingredients, measurements, and waiting time correctly. You should be proud of this achievement, as you were able to do it on your own effort.
Try to find something good and beautiful about yourself. When you start believing in yourself again, the more capable you become in coping from your breakup.
ALSO READ: 12 Wise Things to Do After a Painful Breakup
5. Enjoy being with yourself.
Most of all, it is also recommended that you enjoy alone time. It’s the right moment to let go of the sadness because now you have the freedom to do what you want, using your own rules.
Let’s face it: breakups are painful not only because you and your partner decided to part ways, but because you are scared to burst the bubble that you have formed. But exploring this void isn’t frightening at all; in fact, it’s exciting so you should savour every moment of it.
Try to enjoy every fleeting moment you spend with just yourself by doing hobbies, going on trips, fixing things that you find broken, and learning new skills. Once you are ready, you may want to start sharing your simple joys with others, such as your friends and family. Maybe, later on, you can extend this unique bliss to a bigger circle, like joining clubs and interest groups, helping those in need, or a new social circle.
In a nutshell
Learning to love yourself may seem difficult, but it becomes easier when you give it a chance. Besides, how are you able to love someone else if you don’t know how to love yourself first?
You don’t have to be afraid about coping with the loss, as for every door that closes, a window opens. Your relationship may have ended but a new future has just started for you to explore, so why not seize it now that you are already single?
Remember, we only live once, so carpe diem!