How would you know if your love for someone now is pure or godly? What if you realize in the end that it is worldly after all?
Healthy relationships are anchored on the right kind of love—one that is true and mature. Moreover, if you are a Christian, you would want your marriage to be built on godly love. Finally, of course, you want your relationship and future family to be pleasing before the Lord.
If you want to learn more about the differences between worldly love and a godly love, check out the following:
Focus
1. Worldly Love is Selfish, While Godly Love is Selfless.
One of the signs that love is ungodly is selfishness. You cannot say that you love your partner if you always prioritize your needs, feelings, wants, and comfort over the other person’s. If you are not willing to compromise because you want to insist on what you like, you are a selfish partner.
On the other hand, godly love is selfless. You always think about the welfare of your partner first. You are willing to sacrifice your wants, even your needs, just to help the one you love. Moreover, you do not demand your partner to serve or sacrifice for you.
2. Worldly Love is Temporal, While Godly Love Has Eternal Outlook.
Worldly love is only focused on life on earth. You do not want God to be involved in your relationship, so you do not care about helping each other become spiritually healthy. It does not matter if you sin in the relationship, such as engaging in premarital sex or cheating against your partner.
Meanwhile, godly love acknowledges the sovereignty of the Creator. Therefore, more than enjoying a romantic relationship with your partner, you value God’s will above anything else. That is why you want to keep the relationship pure and pleasing before God. For you, your and your partner’s eternal destination is more important than your happiness on earth.
3. Worldly Love Exalts Oneself, While Godly Love Glorifies the Lord.
As mentioned above, worldly love is selfish. Your focus is on how you can gain others’ admiration through your relationship. You want people to envy you for having a perfect partner—or being the perfect partner. As a result, you like exposing your relationship on social media and demand that your partner be the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend.
Nevertheless, godly love is focused more on exalting God through the relationship. You hope your love story can inspire others to draw closer to Christ and surrender their relationships to Him. Your goal is not to make others think that you are a perfect couple but for them to see that it is the Lord who sustains and strengthens your relationship.
4. Worldly Love is Indifferent to Others, While Godly Love is Considerate.
Worldly love does not care about others. You like ‘against-all-odds’ love stories because of the challenge. Even if your relationship hurts others, including family and friends, you will fight for it. And even if your romance began through cheating on former partners, you would still pursue it for the sake of ‘love’ and ‘happiness’.
On the other hand, godly love is sensitive towards other people. It does not destroy others’ relationships or families. Also, it would not be the reason to upset or worry your family and friends who only care about you.
5. Worldly Love is More Materialistic, While Godly Love is More Relational.
Another trait of worldly love is being materialistic. You love a person based on their physical appearance, social status, and wealth. Also, how long you stay with your partner depends on how much they can give you. If you find someone from whom you can get much more, there is a big chance you will leave the relationship. They say it is practical.
Whereas godly love values the relationship more than practicality. Your affection for your partner is not dependent on their appearance and how much money they have in the bank. You care more about the person than what you can get from them.
Traits
6. Worldly Love is Proud, While Godly Love is Humble.
In a worldly kind of love, arrogance and pride are present. You do not want to be second in the relationship. Instead, you demand your partner to treat you like a queen or king, or else you will leave at once. During fights, you do not back out of any arguments. Plus, you will never admit mistakes or say “sorry” first.
Meanwhile, godly love is characterized by humility. Instead of concentrating on your rights in the relationship, you focus more on how you can serve your partner. Whenever there are misunderstandings, you do not insist that you are right because your concern is how to fix the issue. You are willing to initiate reconciliation and apologize even if it is not your fault.
7. Worldly Love Can Turn to Hate, While Godly Love Forgives.
It is easy for worldly love to burn bridges. After fights worsened by pride, you cut ties with the person, not bothering to at least make peace with them. That is why the once sweet affection you feel for your former partner is replaced by resentment.
How about godly love? If your relationship is Christ-centered, you do not let pride overcome your relationship. Instead, you treat your partner with grace, understanding they are not perfect. You choose to forgive the person and do your best to save the relationship by resolving conflicts with maturity.
8. Worldly Love Offers No Assurance, While Godly Love is Committed.
Since worldly love is easily swayed by materialism, there is no guarantee it will last. Your mind is conditioned that you can leave anytime you are not happy anymore, or you find someone better. That is why many relationships do not last these days.
However, godly love is anchored on commitment. You understand that love is not simply an emotion. It is a choice—a lifetime decision—to stay with the person even if the attraction phase between you is over. And even if you meet more attractive people, you do not consider replacing your partner.
9. Worldly Love Demands, While Godly Love Gives Without Expecting Anything in Return.
Worldly love is demanding in nature. As mentioned in the previous numbers, it is all about what you can get from the relationship. That is why it demands a lot from the other person. For instance, you demand to be served, flaunted, or given expensive gifts. You set conditions to make sure your partner will satisfy your needs.
On the other hand, godly love will make you generous. You help and sacrifice for your partner without expecting them to return the favor. Your focus is caring for them rather than being cared for. Understanding that affection must genuinely come from the heart, you do not demand it from the other person.
10. Worldly Love Pulls You Away from God, While Godly Love Draws You Closer to the Lord.
Worldly love will distract you in your relationship with God. It will influence you to sin and live your life without accountability. In short, it will not help you grow spiritually. Instead, it will draw you farther from faith.
Meanwhile, godly love is Christ-centered. The relationship will inspire you to pursue God all the more. It motivates you and your partner to seek God’s presence, strengthen your faith in Him, and live your lives in a way that pleases the Lord.
Pray for Godly Love
Between the two, which one do you relate to more now? If you want a God-centered and long-lasting relationship, it is really best to pursue godly love. With your partner, pray that the Lord will help you build your relationship and future marriage on the right kind of love.
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
Books recommended for you:
* As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
ALSO READ:
20 Undeniable Signs He Thinks About You a Lot
