Why do two people choose to be in a relationship with each other? Of course, the most logical answer would be that they are in love and would want to try how it is like to live together as one. But as you continue to face life this time as a couple did you ever thought about other things, aside from love, that have become very important in keeping your bond intact?
Well, a lot of people coming from different backgrounds have been saying that it’s not only loving that’s essential in a relationship. Sure, it serves as the core building block of your bond, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be the only key element in making the relationship work. If you are to ask couples that have lasted for several decades already, they’d tell you another thing that must be present in a relationship:
Respect.
But why respect? Here are several reasons to ponder on:
1. Respect sees through the good and learns to accept the bad.
When you are in love with someone, all you see are their best qualities, both inside and out. At the same time, you set aside their flaws and weaknesses, to tolerate these as much as you can. Respect doesn’t work that way.
When you have respect for the person you chose to be in a relationship with, you come to accept the person’s beauty and flaws, the bitter and sweet, and good and the bad. And from the acceptance, you both learn to adjust to each other’s systems and come up with a compromise that you can live with. Toppled with love, respect serves as the fuel to keep any relationship moving.
ALSO READ: How to Treat Your Girlfriend with Respect
2. Respect teaches you the value of patience, especially towards your partner.
It is hard to be patient when in a relationship, especially when you have grown accustomed to your partner’s flaws and attitudes. Also, there are a lot of instances when feel like you have already invested a lot in your partner and your bond, hence whenever conflicts arise you tend to put these thoughts into words at their expense.
With respect, however, you learn to be patient, not only with your partner but also with yourself. You learn to realize that neither of you is perfect and that you have to be patient with how you deal with unexpected situations as well.
And as they say, love is patient. And it is the respect that teaches you how to be patient.
ALSO READ: 10 Ways to Have More Patience in a Relationship
3. Respect allows more tolerance, even when both of you have already grown apart.
If you are to do a survey on married couples on how they made their marriage last for a long time, you won’t always hear them say love. Rather, you can expect them to mention the word “respect” more often.
This is because love has this tendency to fade over time. As you and your partner grow and spend more moments together, both in times of fun and strife, you both change. You grow out certain attitudes and feelings for each other, but the situation calls for you to stick together and carry on. Love –or more like the absence of it, only makes your setup worse, but it can be remedied if you both have respect for each other.
With respect, you learn to accept some harsh realities about your partner and your relationship, and from there you are able to stick together and find ways to continue and make things work.
4. When you have respect, you won’t be tempted to do things that may damage your relationship.
While let’s say you and your partner are totally into each other, there are times when you feel tempted to do things that may hurt both your feelings. You are tempted to cheat or to make decisions that concern your partner without telling them beforehand. And yes, these things bring about irreparable damage that will only cause your relationship to collapse right before your very eyes.
But, if you have respect for your partner and your relationship, you won’t even think about cheating or other hurtful actions, because you know your limits and the repercussions of such moves. You’d be more concerned about how you two should grow not only as a couple but as individuals who have decided to stick together through thick and thin.
5. Respect nurtures trust.
When you respect someone, you also recognize his or her capabilities and limitations. At the same time, you take high regard for their qualities and give them ample trust to take on situations in the way they should be handled. The same goes for partners in a relationship. When they respect each other, they also trust each other’s respective wellbeing, and that they won’t do things that may hurt either or both of them deliberately.
Trust, however, is further amplified by love, that’s why you become more giving and understanding to your partner. This is also the reason why you feel extremely hurt when your partner breaks your trust. Not only that, when trust is broken, you also lose respect for your significant other.
ALSO READ: 10 Ways to Build and Maintain Trust in a Relationship
6. Respect breeds true love.
Lastly, respect breeds the kind of love that way beyond romance. It creates a love that understands and accepts, love that is willing to hold on and willing to let go, love that lasts and overcomes all the qualms and conflicts that you and your partner have had.
You two may be stripped of the romance and adventure, and while all that’s left is a boring future, if you have bred respect for each other that results in the willingness to continue with life together, then that’s true love.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, good times and bad times, adventures and boring hours, and even moments when you just want to give up. But with respect being the most important thing in your relationship, it would then be much easier for you as a couple to face life’s challenges head-on. Enrich respect with love, trust, and patience, then you know your relationship is the one for keeps.
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
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