According to a popular cliché, love makes the world go round. But in a relationship, it’s not just love that keeps it alive, but patience. You may be madly in love with each other, but if you’re not patient, then you won’t be able to strengthen your partnership and make it for the long term.
Not anybody can master patience, and yes, it requires a lot of strength and determination to keep in your hands. But patience does a lot of wonders, not only in the relationship itself, but to the people involved in it. So yes, it’s high time that you learn its ropes as it is a primary key for you to have a long-lasting and meaningful relationship.
You may want to start learning how to have more patience in your relationship through these 10 ways:
1. Get to know your partner as a person.
When in a relationship, it is important that you know your partner as a person, and not just as a partner per se. You have to learn more about their character, both the good and the bad, the nice and the not-so-nice. By knowing them in and out, you are able to understand their strengths and flaws and become more naturally patient when dealing with them.
2. Accept the flaws.
Nobody’s perfect, and your partner is no exception. Of course they have flaws, and these are things you need to accept with a whole heart. Learn to realize that they have limitations and you cannot push them to go beyond these. At the same time, take a look at their areas of opportunity, as these can be turned into strengths later on.
3. Let your partner know you too.
Patience, like love, is a two-way street, so aside from you understanding your partner, they should get to know you and understand you too. How else can they be patient when they don’t know who and what you are? How will they be more tolerant of your tantrums when they do not know where your issues are coming from? This and vice versa: allow them to get to know you as a person too.
Communication is a key in becoming more patient with each other as partners. Take the time to discuss matters that are important to the both of you, may they be individual aspirations, joint plans, or problems. It is essential that you lay the issues down and ask each other’s opinion about them. You may not always agree to one’s decision but by discussing and listening to each side, you develop more patience and tolerance to your partner.
Listening can be difficult to do especially when you are the more domineering one in the relationship, but it is important that you know how to hear your partner out. Listening is also at the same time understanding what your partner is saying and how they hold dear to their insights. You may not have to agree with your partner’s decisions, but patience is formed when you become more giving and trusting to their choices, especially when you know that these choices are for the betterment of your future.
6. Allow your partner to be himself or herself.
It’s common for anybody in a relationship to put their best foot forward at all times, as they only want the best for their partners and their setup. But if you allow your partner to keep doing that, the more difficult your relationship will become because sooner or later the flaws will surface, and the shortcomings will become more apparent and you don’t know how to handle them. Hence, allow yourself and your partner become your natural selves, as that’s what you loved in each other in the first place.
7. Dedicate some quiet time together.
Patience is not only about giving and tolerance. It’s also about allotting time to be spent together as a couple, without necessarily talking. Take a walk together, and hold each other’s hands. The nonverbal communication in this exercise not only lengthens your patience for each other, but also develops more trust because even if you don’t speak, your partner hears you out, and so do you to them.
8. Don’t join them in their tantrums.
There really are instances when your partner gets mad or throws a fit over a particular issue. Sure, it can get into your nerves, but joining them in their tantrum will only make things worse. Rather, let them vent and breathe out everything they feel, and then talk to them calmly once they have cooled down. This would give them time to let go of unnecessary emotions and return to their rational selves before resolving this issue you two are facing.
9. Learn to compromise.
Learning to compromise is likewise a key to exercising more patience. You may not be happy with your partner’s decisions especially on matters involving your relationship, but you also don’t have to give way all the time. Learn to talk to your partner and lay down your terms so that you two can compromise on a decision. You may not be totally happy with it, but at least you are half-happy, and so is your partner.
10. Find activities that you and your partner can do as a team.
Developing patience can also be done through the activities that you and your partner jointly take part of. In this regard, you may want to join in games or sports that require cooperation between you and significant other as these activities provide the opportunity for you to test and hone each other’s trust, patience, and confidence. You are able to complement each other’s weaknesses and utilizes your strengths until you accomplish the tasks you have in that activity you joined in.
Patience is a virtue, says a popular proverb. You may not have this innately, but this can be developed. All you need is to trust yourself and your partner, and the love that you both have in your relationship. You may not realize it, but you two have already achieved a lot of feats, and that’s because you learned to be patient.