There is no such thing as the perfect boyfriend. One can never live up to another’s expectations but it does not hurt to set a few standards for yourself. To be a gentleman is to be a chivalrous, courteous, and honorable man, and to be one not only benefits yourself but is also enriching towards your relationship with the people around your social circle, especially your girlfriend.
Being a gentleman is not difficult, one does not have to rescue damsels in distress nor wear gloves or spectacles. The modern gentleman’s essence is in the way he acts and carries himself. If one needs tips on how to achieve this then continue to read down below:
1. Don’t keep her waiting.
Punctuality goes a long way when you are trying to become a gentleman. Tardiness is never smiled upon especially when it is on your anniversary date! Just think about your girlfriend, waiting alone in the restaurant, checking her watch, and wondering where you are. It is never polite to make someone wait because being on time is an important way of showing other people that you respect their time.
If you have trouble keeping up with the clock, then it is strongly recommended that you make it a habit of appearing 15 minutes before the intended meeting time.
2. Ladies first.
One of the golden rules in the gentleman’s book is the two words: ladies first. Whether it is opening the door of a car, picking a seat on the table for a dinner date, or simply in normal actions in everyday life, the modern gentleman still carries this important rule with him. A gentleman will always reassure the comfort of his girlfriend first before his own. He will always walk by the side of the street instead of the lady. So if you want to truly learn to become a gentleman, always keep in mind the golden rule: ladies first.
3. Always remember important dates.
Whether it is a birthday, an anniversary, a death anniversary, the day she lost her first tooth, or the day she got her first job, it is important to always remember significant days. The modern gentleman cares and breaks the stereotype of men forgetting their important dates with their loved ones and rushing to pick up a bunch of flowers to appease with whatever it was that they have forgotten.
To be a gentleman is to always remember important dates. By doing this, you are showing your girlfriend that what is important to her is also important to you and as a bonus, you are never in a rush to buy gifts whenever the day does come!
ALSO READ: 16 Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Loved
4. Be a good listener.
In a relationship, being a good listener is important. A gentleman always listens to his lady no matter what it is that she is talking about. To be a gentleman, you have to show her that you indeed care and understand what she is going through. A gentleman is always there to lend an ear, whether it is a complaint about a coworker, how much her back is aching, how sunny the weather is, or why she loved the pasta so much, and he does not just listen, he understands too!
ALSO READ: 10 Tips on How to be a Better Listener in Your Relationship
5. Always carry a handkerchief.
In other words, this can be translated to “always be prepared”. Prepared for what? one may ask. In the likes of the handkerchief, a gentleman is always prepared to hand it to a lady who needs it. The modern gentleman is prepared for anything! If you know that your girlfriend is forgetful and has an important job interview tomorrow, then help her organize her things so that when she asks you tomorrow for her lost keys, you will be right there to hand them to her.
A gentleman is prepared for worst-case scenarios and is also equipped with alternative plans.
6. Pay attention to your girlfriend.
Your girlfriend is not your trophy. She is not there for your pleasure nor for you to display her and polish her whenever you want to. A true gentleman respects his girlfriend, more importantly, he pays attention to her. He listens to what she needs or what she wants to talk about. No matter how busy he may seem, the true gentleman will set aside time for the one he loves.
At the end of the day, after a long drinking session with coworkers or a busy night at work, your girlfriend will be the one to welcome you with open arms so paying attention to her is vital. Remember that a gentleman does not overlook the important figures in his life.
ALSO READ: 15 Ways to Impress Your Girlfriend
7. Remember the little things.
A gentleman does not only pay attention, he remembers the little things that she says. He knows when she is in the mood for nachos, he knows that it irks her when he snorts, he knows what makes her smile and what makes her sad. A gentleman never forgets the seemingly insignificant things that she shares with him throughout her day. It may seem like a small deal but whenever you bring it up to her, it will plaster a smile upon her face and let her know that indeed you do remember what she said that Friday night.
8. Nothing makes her look fat.
A gentleman never insults his girlfriend. He never tells her that she looks fat but instead he showers his loved one with compliments, one that will build up her self-esteem and confidence and make her feel more encouraged and empowered. He also does not forget to show constructive criticism when needed but a gentleman will see it so that it is presented in a way that will not be offensive. One will always support the growth of his loved one.
ALSO READ: 10 Tips on How to Make a Woman Feel Beautiful Inside and Out
9. Always apologize.
It is important to learn how to apologize, especially when one is in the wrong. A true gentleman is never full of pride and he truly believes that apologizing never makes you less of a man. He knows the value of the relationship and will never hold it at stake for the sake of a quarrel.
The modern gentleman would rather apologize first than risk losing his girlfriend. If one has trouble doing this, it may help to think or choose which is more important, your pride or your loved one?
10. Protect her at all times.
And finally, the true gentleman shields his lady from harm. He makes sure that she is protected at all times, whether it may be physical, mental, or emotional. He will never allow another person to harass his girlfriend nor will he ever allow himself the one to emotionally inflict pain upon his girlfriend. A gentleman will always see to it that his lady is well-taken care of, disregarding himself and putting her first.
As mentioned earlier, it is not difficult to be a gentleman if one follows these ten simple steps. Being a true gentleman is much more complex than this but hopefully, after reading, one can be enlightened and be able to use these tips for the betterment of himself and of those around him. It is important to keep in mind that the true gentleman needs not to shout to the world what he is, he shows it in the way he walks and the way he serves.
Online courses recommended for you:
- How to Become a Good and Godly Husband:
how to love your wife in the ways she feels your love. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
this course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
Books recommended for you:
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I personally agree some points and disagree on some points. Beside that how if I man and have boyfriend? Is the rule still same only replace her to him? Thanks.
Awesome doesn’t cut it
Okay… I have a question. I have asked everyone I know. I have asked people overseas. I have asked complete strangers and no one has been able to come up with an answer. I hear quite often by women that chivalry is dead. I think to myself: “no it’s not, it would just be wasted on you.” Of course I dare not say that, because I am a gentleman. Which is actually what they are trying to say. There are no gentleman left, which is not the case. However they have heard this cliché so many times, they would prefer to repeat it. My question is this… If my job to behave in chivalry, to be a gentleman. What is (her) your job?
Honestly, I think the Bible gives a good answer, after all, I think that’s a pretty good basis for not only treating others with respect but how one should do that in a relationship. And I know this would trigger some 5th wave feminists and get them started on a buncha crap but most of it is applicable to both relationships and not today.
She is far more precious than jewels. (Dudes treat em w respect)
12She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She works with willing hands. (Work Ethic)
14She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night (Planner, worker)
and provides food for her household
16She considers a field and buys it; (Independent and decisive)
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds her loins with strength (Strong)
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. (She’s a capitalist with ideas of fair trade)
Her lamp does not go out at night.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy. (Kind and giving)
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, (Not anxious because she works hard, not because she’s ignorant)
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
(This stuff all good)
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.