There are just challenges that cannot be fought gracefully and most of them often leave us emotionally scarred and wounded – and this story is true especially when it comes to the matters of the heart.
Relationship problems are normal in a romantic commitment but not everyone can handle the worst trials that sometimes come their way – all because they are not emotionally capable of being strong especially when it matters the most.
On the other hand, some people are impressively strong enough to get through the worst storms of a relationship while also managing to learn from the lessons that spring from them. How? By harnessing the power of knowing themselves better through a deeper understanding of the different emotional triggers and the strengths that can be derived from them.
Since strength will always come from within, it’s important that you and your partner know the right ways that will help you overcome every challenge that life throws at you. Here they are:
1. First of all, answer these basic questions:
What makes you happy? What makes you feel sad or angry? What are the things that often disappoint you?
The first step in discovering the emotional strength that lies within you is knowing the answers to these simple yet important questions especially if you’re a part of a romantic relationship. This is because knowing yourself better and identifying the things that can trigger your different emotional states can help you prepare for the unpredictability, risks and surprises of being emotionally attached to another person.
2. Be flexible and learn to adapt to your environment.
It doesn’t matter if you’re not mature enough to be a perfect partner in a relationship. What’s important is you have developed an extraordinary flexibility to deal with the different circumstances that may come along the way. Passion especially in young love can often be volatile and your only way of taking control is by starting from within: Learn to adjust, to compromise and to be emotionally ready for whatever the situation demands.
3. Take refuge in the things that make you happy.
But don’t stay there for too long. In a relationship, you have to accept the good and the bad about your significant other and your relationship as a whole. Whenever you are faced with challenges that you feel too weak to handle, you can run to your comfort zone but never leave the love of your life to deal with the problem alone.
4. Know yourself better by accepting what you are not.
To be emotionally strong, you have to accept that you can’t be that ideal person for the one you love, vice versa. Otherwise, you’d be vulnerable to negativities that will eventually give birth to an undying insecurity, a volatile emotion that has been proven to cause the most devastating break up.
What matters the most is you both accept that you are not perfect but you both have the commitment to give whatever you can just to make it work.
5. Have a little (or more) faith in your relationship.
There is strength in having the ability to trust your partner and your relationship as a whole. You have to believe that both of you can stand the test of time as long as you both do your part. This faith in your genuine connection reflects how you view yourself as a person and how you can deal with circumstances that might make you question your significant other’s sincerity and commitment.
If you know deep inside that as long as you love each other and your bond is helping you both grow, then nothing can ever stop you from living the happiest life together.
6. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
There is strength in learning how to move on. Be kind to yourself especially when you find it hard to forgive your past mistakes. No one is perfect and as someone who is a part of a relationship with another person, your failures should not decide how you will live your life together. In other words, do not let these mistakes ruin what you have right now. Take the good and let go of the bad.
7. Learn when to say NO – and be ready to deal with its consequences.
There is also strength in learning when and how to say NO. Even if you’re in a relationship, you don’t have the obligation to do something that you’re not comfortable with. An emotionally strong person knows how to express disagreement; an emotionally strong partner knows how to deal with arguments in a constructive and productive way.
8. Accept change as a part of the process.
By accepting the inevitable, by opening yourself to the changes that life and love have to offer, you are preparing yourself for a stronger and firmer emotional foundation that can survive any storm. Change is a part of the process in both love and life and having the courage to face them head on is one of the characteristics that only a few people managed to acquire.
9. Never allow yourself to be silenced.
In a healthy relationship, you have a voice and that voice must be heard especially when it’s needed. Never allow yourself to be silenced just because you think you’re younger, inexperienced or weaker. There is strength in expressing your thoughts and courageously standing your ground as long as you know that what you’re doing is right.
10. Stop hurting each other.
There is strength in being able to figure out if the love that you’ve been giving someone is actually slowly killing you emotionally. Stop hurting yourself by believing in an unhealthy kind of relationship with someone who doesn’t even appreciate your worth. On the other hand, stop hurting your partner by doing things that can severe your connection instead of helping it grow stronger.
11. Learn to accept reality as it is.
Lastly, there is emotional strength in having the courage to accept reality as it is. We cannot change the present and we can only imagine what the future holds but having the right attitude towards life can make all the difference.
Indeed, relationship problems and the inevitable heartaches that tag along can be depressing and devastating but just like other aspects of life, challenges are an essential part of the process. Learn to rise above it all – and these are all possible if you have carefully and patiently understood what it truly means to be emotionally strong as a person, as a lover and as a life partner.
Photo by Alice Donovan Rouse