Many consider courtship as a thing of the past—obsolete and too conservative. For the millennials, who are more used to dating, courtship is boring because you are not supposed to entertain someone else while in the courting stage. The new generation also sees it as too serious, so it is only for mature adults who want to get married already.
What is the difference between dating and courtship? Dating does not involve commitment between two individuals, and it is simply a getting-to-know-each-other hangout thing that could progress to exclusivity if the couple clicks. On the other hand, courtship is developing intimacy between a potential couple through an intentional friendship guided by parents and/or spiritual mentors.
While dating is preferred by people who want to satisfy their emotional needs without the hassle of commitment, courtship is taken seriously as a preparation for marriage.
Some guys may tell the girls they are pursuing that they are courting them. However, this process is more than sweet chats and late-night calls. It involves visible actions and persistent effort.
How do you know if a man is courting you for real? These are the signs:
1. He expresses his intention.
First of all, courtship is something directly expressed. The guy tells you his intention and asks permission from you. Do not assume someone is already courting you just because he makes you feel special.
2. He asks permission from your family and spiritual leaders.
Serious courtship involves asking permission from your parents and spiritual mentors if you have. If he intends to marry you someday, then he has to formally involve the authority figures in your life in the process.
ALSO READ: 18 Signs He’s the One Sent by God for You
If he says he is courting you, but most of the time, you only connect through Messenger, then do not buy it. Courtship requires constant physical efforts to make you feel valued. This means you have to spend more time being together personally than just being virtual friends.
4. He does not see any other girls while in the process.
A man is serious in courting you if he does not try to be intimate with other girls during the process. Even if there is no guarantee that you will say “yes” to him, he must already commit himself to you while in the courtship phase.
5. He gets you home safely.
Walking or driving you home daily is one of the common efforts that courting gentlemen do for their special ladies. Having vowed to be your protector, he will always be there just in time to take you home, especially if you have overtime at work.
6. He visits you at home.
Instead of taking you out on a date always to have you solo, he prefers visiting you at home and bringing snacks or dinner for you and your family. Aside from being a cheaper kind of date, he does this to impress your family. He shows his respect to them by guaranteeing he does not bring you to unsafe places.
ALSO READ: 10 Things Guys Do When They Like You
7. He courts your family too.
In connection with no.6, a man who is seriously courting you makes an effort to win the hearts of your family too. He works hard to earn their trust, and he serves them as well. Besides bringing food, he may also lend a hand in cleaning your house or fixing the computer or some electrical wirings.
8. He spends money on you.
If your special guy is generous towards you, such as bringing you gifts and flowers or treating you to all-expense-paid dates, then he is serious about you. He would not be spending money on someone he has no intention of keeping for a long time. This is also a way of showing off that he has the means to provide for you and your future family.
9. He serves you.
A man who is serious about pursuing you will treat you like a queen. He opens the door for you, pulls the chair for you, prepares your food, and even buys you sanitary pads.
10. He respects your limitations.
When you tell him “no touching, holding hands, and other physical contacts” he will gladly obey it. He will respect the boundaries you set for the both of you and exhibit self-control no matter how long it takes.
ALSO READ: How to Know if He’s the One for You: 8 Signs You’ve Found Him
11. He pursues you even if you give him no assurance.
During the courtship stage, the guy must understand that you are not committed to him until you say “yes” to being his girlfriend. For this reason, he cannot act like he owns you or be confident that he will surely win your heart. If a man understands this risk and still pursues you, then he is serious.
12. He prays for you.
Praying for someone is a sign that you seek wisdom from God about the desire of your heart. If the person courting you asks that you both pray for each other while you are in the process of courtship, it means he is taking you seriously. Involving God at the start of a potential relationship is a sign that you both want it to work.
He is Willing to Wait for You
These “signs” are only mere signs of a guy’s seriousness about winning the heart of the woman he loves through courtship. However, not everyone serious in courting now would persevere for a long time. Some guys get tired of waiting and end up looking for someone else.
Courtship allows potential couples to know each other better and build a strong friendship. Nevertheless, if you want to know how much a man could endure for you, test him with time. If after many months—or even years—of courtship, he still wants to pursue you, then it is true love he has.
At the end of the day, it is up to you if he will give him a chance to be part of your life. Do not just listen to your heart, but decide to use your brain to avoid making a mistake. Therefore, while in the courtship season, prevent yourself from being too emotionally attached to the guy so your judgment will not be clouded.
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
Books recommended for you
* As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Gift ideas for your partner:
* As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
ALSO READ:
Hi, I was reading about relationships so I’m asking you. I was with a man that I worked with for 12 years, we talked as friends for over a year before we got serious. I was separated he was married, we were both in the same situation with our cheating spouse’s. He divorced 2 years later and I in 3 years. He treated me good, cooked and clean for me and also helped me with my grandkids. We were together over 6 years and I never met any of his family, he met mine. In March of 2020 he passed away, his ex took over. I didn’t even go to the funeral, when he got sick I was finding out things that he kept me. I felt so hurt and stupid, I saw some red flags alone the way but ignored it. I just think about everything and can’t move on, what advice do you have.