21 Obvious Signs Your Boyfriend is Controlling

Obvious Signs Your Boyfriend is Controlling
Photo by Deiade

How do you know that your boyfriend is a manipulative dude who wants to control your life? If your partner is controlling, is he worth keeping?

If you are sensing that your boyfriend is controlling, but you are not sure about it, check the list of signs below. Hopefully, it can help you determine if you are in a toxic relationship with a control freak.

1. He criticizes you even for small things. 

If your boyfriend always has something negative to say about you, it shows that he is controlling. A controlling person criticizes even the most minor flaw and makes a big deal out of it. He seems to expect you to be perfect.

2. He constantly threatens you to get his way. 

Whenever you disagree with him, he uses threats to bend your will. Either he will threaten to leave you or do something terrible that would leave you with no choice. In the end, you are forced to obey him out of fear.

3. You are afraid to make mistakes in front of him. 

Do you ever feel pressured or conscious doing something in front of your boyfriend? It is different from being afraid of failures out of wanting to impress your guy. Having a controlling boyfriend means you need to be perfect in his eyes. Since he wants everything in control, he has a low tolerance for slips and mistakes.

4. His love for you is conditional. 

Is your boyfriend fond of using conditional statements with you? For instance, does he tell you he would only stop looking at other girls if you achieve a slimmer figure? Or does he threaten to break up with you if you do not meet his sexual needs? If these are his usual lines, his love is not only conditional, but he also uses pressure to control you.

5. You have to get his approval for everything you do. 

Another sign that your boyfriend is controlling you is when his approval is required for your every move. Like you cannot meet your friends without his permission. Or you have to tell him that you want to buy a new lipstick, and if he says you do not need it, then there is nothing you can do.

6. He always has the final say in your relationship. 

Does your boyfriend always decide about everything in your relationship? Have you noticed that he always chooses where your date will be and what you will eat? Or is the direction of your relationship always dependent on his plans? If he does all of these, then he really loves to be in control.

7. You cannot say “no” to him. 

One more sign that you have a control freak partner is when you cannot say “no” to him. Even if you disagree with him, you have no choice but to follow what he wants since he would throw a fit if you decline.

8. You are afraid of his temper. 

If you cannot refuse your boyfriend for anything because of fear, it means he got you by the throat. You are under his control if he can use his anger as a threat to make you follow him.

9. He does not like you hanging around with others. 

Another sign that you have a controlling boyfriend is when he keeps isolating you from the rest. He often does not like you hanging out with friends or visiting your family. He also hates it when you keep regular communication with people close to you.

10. You have to hide even innocent things from him. 

Have you ever found yourself keeping secrets from your boyfriend? It could be hiding even harmless information or things that you know your guy dislikes. For instance, you probably hid new clothes you ordered online because he thinks online shopping is a waste of money.

Obvious Signs Your Boyfriend is Controlling
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11. He hates it when you surpass his achievements. 

Your boyfriend is supposed to be your no. 1 supporter. However, does he seem unhappy whenever you accomplish something, such as job promotion, or when you want to aim for something higher, like enrolling in a postgraduate degree? If this is the case, it could because he wants to keep you under him.

12. He uses guilt to make you do what he wants. 

Another tactic that a controlling or manipulative person likes to use is guilt-tripping. To make you do as he wishes, he keeps on bringing up your past mistakes against him. He wants you to make it up to him by trying to please him.

13. You feel more of a slave than a partner. 

Does your boyfriend make you feel undervalued? If he cannot treat you as his equal and keeps bossing you around, you are surely under his control.

14. You cannot freely express your feelings and thoughts to him. 

If you cannot open up to your boyfriend about your inner struggles, it is probably because you never feel that he understands you. You are maybe afraid to talk to him because it would only end up with criticisms and intimidation.

15. He sets standards in the relationship.

Does your boyfriend expect you to live like his ideal woman? He is a control freak if he wants you to meet his high expectations and demands that you follow the ‘rules’ he set for your relationship.

16. Even your wardrobe needs his approval. 

A controlling boyfriend also dictates what you should wear. You cannot go out of the house without him checking your outfit of the day (OOTD).

17. He is overly demanding. 

Another sign that your partner is controlling is his demanding behavior. Typically, this kind of person would require all your attention to him. He expects that you put him as your top priority, so you always have to put him first in everything.

18. He needs to know you chat, text, or talk to in person. 

Does your boyfriend also control your communication line? A controlling guy would always check your phone and social media messages. He would also demand that you let him know who you run into or meet in a day.

19. He intimidates you physically. 

If your boyfriend abuses you physically whenever you disappoint him, it is a clear sign of control and manipulation. It could also be the reason why you are afraid of him.

20. He is obsessed with you. 

One of the reasons why a guy is very controlling is because he is obsessed with his partner. He is afraid that he would lose the girl, so he becomes territorial and demanding. If your boyfriend has always expressed too much affection for you, it could be a sign.

Obvious Signs Your Boyfriend is Controlling
Photo by LuidmilaKot

21. Your world has to revolve around him. 

Overall, a controlling boyfriend wants his girlfriend to live just for him. If your boyfriend always demands your time and attention and he keeps you isolated, it is clear that he keeps you in his control.

Is It What You Want?

If you have confirmed that your boyfriend is a control freak, what would be your next step? You can probably start asking yourself if you are still happy with your relationship. Also, with his character, can you imagine spending the rest of your life with him?

How about your future kids? Do you want them to have a father who would probably raise them in an authoritarian way?

The choice is yours.

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Cyril Abello
Joan is a freelance blogger who loves writing about personal development. She also loves learning and teaching languages. A Communication Arts graduate, she now pursues a masters degree in Language Teaching. She is into mobile photography, writing poems, and reading for leisure.
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