With everyone posting the highlights of their lives on social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your low moments and the ordinary events of your life to other people’s filtered lives. This trap usually causes the feeling of insecurity that makes you question yourself. Why do your friends have houses of their own while you are still renting? Why are your friends in a relationship and you are not? Why are they traveling to different countries while you haven’t even been out of town for 5 years already?
People’s posts on social media can easily make you question your own life. They can make you feel envy and insecurities. So, how are you gonna deal with it? Here are some of the ways to help you overcome insecurities brought by social media.
1. Know the reason of your insecurity.
Before you can address the problem, you need to know the root cause. Why does a certain post make you feel insecure? What are with these posts that trigger insecurity? For example, your friend posted about a house he or she just bought, and you felt bad about yourself upon seeing it. Why? Is it also something that you want for yourself? Why don’t you have it just yet?
Probably, you have more financial responsibilities than that friend that’s why he or she was able to buy a house. Also, maybe, your expenses and sources of income aren’t the same. Because of those factors, you don’t have what he or she has. Don’t be too harsh on yourself.
2. Understand your life’s timeline.
It is best to know the flow of your life to prevent yourself from wallowing in unnecessary insecurity. For example, you have been traveling a lot when you were in your twenties while your friends are busy nursing their babies at home. Now that you’re in your thirties, you decided to build a family of your own. You are now the one busy nursing babies at home, and you see your friends traveling a lot. You see, there’s no need to feel insecure about it.
You should not question yourself as to why you can no longer travel the way you used to. You already had that time of your life, and you now have shifted focus. Just be happy seeing others enjoying what you already enjoyed. Instead of allowing insecurity to eat you up, why not suggest other places you’ve visited them instead?
3. Remember your own goals in life.
Aside from understanding your life’s timeline, you should also remember your goals in life. Posts on social media are like advertisements. The posts of others can easily convince you that you need to do what they did, eat what they ate, and visit places they visited. And if you don’t do what they did, you’ll feel defeated.
To avoid losing in the battle that you alone know, stay clear with your goals. No matter how effective others advertise their activities, you will not feel insecure, and you will be able to resist the urge to imitate them if you are clear with your goals. For example, your friends are already getting married and you are not. If you feel insecure about this, ask yourself, “Do I actually wanna get married?” If you actually like to live the rest of your life on your own, then, don’t make marriage your goal just because of your friends.
4. Consider your friends’ achievements as motivations.
What about the similar goals that you have with your friends? For example, you also want to finish studies like your friends, but you haven’t graduated. What are you gonna do? Having similar goals with others, and seeing them achieve what you haven’t can easily make you succumb to insecurity. How are you gonna prevent it? Get to the “I’m getting there” stage.
Instead of wasting time in the darkness of your thoughts, get on your feet and enroll. Study hard so you can graduate like your friends. By being inspired and motivated, you can improve your life and avoid being insecure. Rest with the thought that you’ll get there soon.
5. Consider your social media friends as mentors, not competitors.
You see your friends making profit out of their hobbies? Be motivated to start running your own business, too. The friends you have on social media aren’t your enemies and competitors. You can even ask them for pieces of advice on how you can be successful in your craft. By changing your mindset, your social media account will be filled with different motivations that can push you to do better.
6. Know how the social media world really works.
Aside from getting motivation from posts, you can also prevent feeling insecure by understanding the social media world. Remember that people mostly post their life’s highlights on social media. They post edited pictures. They take hundreds of photos and select the one that is social media worthy, the shot’s where they look perfect.
Why should you compare your bare face to someone’s photo that is taken with good lighting and auto photo retouch? Why should you compare your ordinary life and low moments to other peoples highlights? Know how the social media world works, so you will not feel bad about it.
7. Take a break from social media.
Now, if changing your mindset, understanding your own life’s timeline, and knowing how the social media works just won’t do the trick of addressing your insecurity, take a break from social media. Deactivate your account if you must. Deselect the option for your device to remember your password, so you won’t automatically and easily access your own account. Probably, the reason why other people have achieved what they did is that they don’t spend much of their lives online.
8. Unfollow toxic people on social media.
If only a few people trigger your insecurity, unfollow them. Undeniably, there are indeed braggers on social media, and one of the most effective ways to prevent them from making you feel small is to unfollow them. Choose what and who you follow. Choose to see and read posts that can keep you happy, motivate you, and inspire you.
Prevent social media from being your self-esteem’s enemy by knowing how to use it wisely. Fill your accounts with posts that induce positive thoughts and train your mind in seeing the good in everything.