Every long distance relationship knows that the distance comes with a price. If normal couples face struggles every day in their relationship then what more for people who are a thousand miles apart? These struggles, whether they be big or small, are normal and should be the dealt with maturely and effectively.
Problems only rise whenever these are avoided or hidden away. Do not think that you and your partner are alone in these hardships! You should know that every relationship goes through these phases and listed down below are nine struggles only couples in a long distance relationship will understand:
1. Slow communication
Have you ever had the urge to whack your computer screen because it takes so long to send a message to your partner because the signal is very, very, slow? If yes, then you are not alone. Most long distance relationship couples experience technical difficulties in their relationships. Sometimes the phone is not working, or your internet ran out of data, and sometimes your computer has the nerve to crash during important video call moments! This is pretty regular and the only solution is to be patient and push that restart button.
2. Lack of support
Oftentimes, because of the mountains and oceans separating you and your partner, it is quite difficult to be there to give your physical, emotional, and mental support. Whenever your girlfriend or boyfriend calls you to let you know that she or he had a bad day, you can not be there even if you wanted to, you can not give him or her a hug and reassure your loved one that it is okay. This struggle is quite common and is sometimes a breaker in some relationships if one in the relationship is emotionally immature.
3. Hectic schedules
You and your partner are obviously two different breathing beings hence even if you two are in a relationship, both of you will lead different lives especially if you are involved with someone who is a few towns away from you. One of the most cited struggles of long distance loving is the hectic schedule. School, work, extracurricular activities, you name it! There will be times that you will find yourself exhausted after a long day at work only to finally check your phone and your partner has left you 34 missed calls and 57 messages. Yikes! Always remember: Time management is the key.
4. Missing out
Since you and your boyfriend or girlfriend are apart, there will be sometimes or even a lot of times that you will not be able to be there for each other. In other words, you will miss out on a lot of things: the celebration of your partner’s promotion, her first drive on her newly purchased car, your anniversary dinner, or even small things like she finally perfected that cupcake recipe she has been learning.
It is quite saddening to know that this will happen for a fact but at times it is quite unavoidable. The best thing to do is that if you cannot be there for the small things, then be there for the big important things! One surely must not miss their loved one’s birthday!
It is quite impossible to not miss your boyfriend or girlfriend, especially if you do not see them every day. The feeling of longing will surely creep into you every now and then but it is nice to know that this is a normal struggle every long distance relationship couple faces.
The physical absence of your partner makes it hard for you to get through the day and it is understandable. This struggle is even magnified if you are used to being with your partner every day and suddenly he or she has to move away because of certain situations. But do not fret and always note that even if he or she is not there, their love is like the wind, in other words, you can feel it.
Date cancellations are hard but cancellations in long distance relationships are painfully hard because you work and plan it for weeks, sometimes even months, for it to just go through the trash bin! Say goodbye to that beach trip, or to that restaurant date, or even that call that you have been waiting for hours!
Sometimes cancellations are unavoidable because of unforeseen circumstances so you must not blame your partner for it. A better way of coping with this is to think that there are other opportunities. Always keep that mind positive!
7. Relationship invaders
Since you are not commonly seen with your partner, it is easily understandable for other people to think that you are on the market. Some will come up to you, flirt with you, or even invite you out to dinner, and the same thing will probably happen to your boyfriend or girlfriend too!
The important thing is to politely decline and inform the person that unfortunately, you already have the love of your life. There will be people who will back down nicely and of course, there will be other people who will persist. The remedy to this? Avoid in order to prevent!
Misunderstandings are difficult to repair during a long distance relationship. Why? Because you are not there to physically explain it to your loved one! Misunderstandings are also more likely to happen in this type of relationship. For example, if you send a goodnight text to your partner without a heart emoticon, he or she might interpret it as “there is something wrong” and your insistence that in fact nothing is wrong will lead them to think that you may be hiding it, and then voila! A misunderstanding is born. Even as simple as an emoticon can cause that.
9. Trust issues
Lastly, trust issues. This is not good especially if either you or your partner has this before the relationship even began. Trust issues can give birth to a whole lot of other issues and struggles like jealousy, bad communication, or suffocation in a relationship. Maybe one thing that can help ease this struggle is to never make your partner feel left out.
Always tell him or her what is happening with your day or what your thoughts are so that he or she will not feel that you are keeping secrets. Take note, doubt feeds trust issues! Never feed it and never water his or her insecurities!
The struggles that you may be facing right now, if you are in a long distance relationship, is normal because every relationship in the whole world goes through the same things. It may be comforting to know that you are not alone. Now that you are aware of these struggles that you may be facing, it will be much easier to look for solutions to it.
Relationships are tough work but at least the struggles that you are coping with now will always be worth it in the end because after every struggle is a lesson you can apply to enrich your life.