What is the Third Wheel In a Relationship?
A third wheel is being the front wheel of a tricycle, while two back wheels are having a date and spending private time together. The third wheel is stuck between two people who have so much chemistry and disturbs their intimacy.
When two people are in a relationship, it is common that one feels uncomfortable being the third wheel.
However, this feeling can often be seen when you go out with a couple of friends, and they get cozy with each other while being affectionate during movie dates.
Ways to Be The Best Third Wheel
You might feel awkward, unnecessary, and even guilty for feeling left out. But remember that these things happen for a reason, and there are ways on how to solve your problem as well as to make you fit perfectly in their world:
1. Be their friend.
Generally, you will know that you are a third wheel when they have so much bonding time to share and not enough for you. Nevertheless, instead of feeling bad about it, try to make yourself more involved in the conversation and activities. You can also help them out as great listeners and show affection by making them feel loved now and then. Just pretend like sharing is caring!
However, if their treatment towards you is still kind of cold even though you did everything mentioned above, it might be better for you to back off for some time or distance yourself from both of them. To maintain your friendship with these people, it’s better if they only treat you as a friend rather than someone steals your place as a couple.
As the saying goes, it is better to be lonely than be in bad company!
So you can truly focus on what’s valuable and important for your relationship rather than letting little things come between you and your partner.
2. Don’t make things awkward.
Whether you are with your friends or a couple having a date, you can’t help but feel awkward and uncomfortable by being the third wheel. So once you realize that things have gotten to their worst, you should get yourself distracted.
Try to make them feel comfortable by doing something useful such as bringing food or drinks.
And put your phone away, because you don’t want them to think that you’re bored out there!
As long as things don’t seem too welcoming (meaning: less talkative), focus on something else; don’t forget to let them know that you are still there.
3. Be yourself and have fun!
Being the third wheel is already awkward, so instead of acting like you’re not part of their date, be who you really are, and your presence will surely make it more entertaining for everyone.
Follow the mood of those around you, but only if it won’t spoil things and lead somewhere else. Asking permission from them would be better than just doing what’s on your mind because they might feel uncomfortable with whatever choice you made. So just do as much as necessary; don’t overdo or underdo yourself!
4. Confidence is key!
Sometimes you have no choice but to be a third wheel when you are with your two friends because maybe you guys just don’t get along that well. If ever, try to make yourself useful. Instead of feeling like an outsider, why not join them in their activities by doing what they do?
So being the third wheel won’t be that hard. Rather than getting mad at each other for simply existing in one space and time together, you can work things out by being more patient and understanding towards each other. And there is nothing more important than finding a balance for everything.
Just remember: what you are is who you are, so be yourself all of the time, especially when there’s no one else around.
5. Have a great sense of humor!
Whether you are with friends or someone special, moments like these require being more flexible and having a good sense of humor when dealing with different personalities and situations.
You can enjoy making jokes about your situation by putting a positive spin on things that might be otherwise boring or awkward for everyone. As long as you don’t make fun at the expense of someone’s feelings, then it’s all good!
Having a great sense of humor can help put everything into perspective better than anything else I could say here. So just have fun and do what you gotta do!
6. Be a great listener.
Talk less, listen more.
Instead of talking about your own interests, try to listen and understand more about theirs. And don’t just listen to what they say; pay attention to how they feel and what it means to them. As long as you can follow their emotions, you are already good enough to be a third wheel for them!
So be patient instead of quickly judging or jumping to conclusions. You will surely get the hang of things eventually, as well as learn new things too!
7. Find common interests to talk about.
If you can only follow their train of thoughts, then guess what? They’re not that interesting after all. So try to find something common between them and you—like a topic they are interested in talking about—so that you could hold up the conversation.
It’s alright if they don’t always involve you because it should be normal for you; keep yourself occupied with other things like reading your book or doing whatever else. And before long, they will notice how contented and happy you both look together!
8. Know when to give them space.
When it comes to third-wheeling, you’ve got to be quick and smart when it comes to handling your situations. For example, when your friends need space, they may not say aloud to get out or take a walk. You have to realize this yourself and be ready to take action!
They may just want to spend alone time with each other without feeling like someone is watching them every step of the way! So always be aware of what’s happening around you, and don’t take anything personally!
9. Know your role, don’t steal the light!
Don’t try to take over their spotlight. Instead, just be there for them when they need you! Whether you are needed as a companion or an observer with your eyes and ears open, just do what you have to do!
Keep your mouth shut if you know they are going to have some private conversations.
If they need a shoulder to lean on, be patient and sensitive enough about their feelings so that they could lean on yours instead. Don’t just stand by idly if they need someone for support; offer help when necessary!
It’s alright to ask questions if it doesn’t bother them too much. So please don’t feel ashamed for not knowing what’s the best way or saying something stupid; learn from your mistakes and have fun with it all at the same time!
Benefits Of Being a Third Wheel
It’s ok to be a third wheel when you are with your friends, especially when you are there for them no matter what situations arise to help see everything through good times and bad. All they need is someone who understands their feelings without judgment and acts accordingly.
1. You can learn from their relationship.
If your friends are in a serious relationship, you can observe how they interact with each other. Seeing them together from afar may make you realize some common mistakes people make while being in a relationship or just as friends.
You could use that knowledge to improve yourself while dealing with your relationship and better understand why things don’t always work out for some crazy reason! Whatever the case is, you will surely have something to take away later on down the road!
2. You can look after your best friend.
Love is blind. As much as you love your best friend, it doesn’t mean they can make the wisest decisions for themselves. So it is perfectly fine to keep an eye out for them from afar!
If you notice they are going through a tough time with their relationship, offer your help if necessary.
If you don’t mind getting more intimate and personal, try to talk them out of it directly instead. If they need someone to vent on or just an ear that listens, be there for them!
3. You can give them friendly advice on relationship problems.
Some may find it a bit awkward to approach their friends about relationship problems, but that’s where you come in! If they need someone to talk to and discuss their feelings with, then offer your shoulder or open ear for them!
They will probably appreciate how much you care for them and help deal with the problem—and not close off because they feel uncomfortable talking about it too much. Talking about things out loud could sometimes make us feel better just by letting it all out! And of course, always remember never to give any advice unless asked first!
4. You get more insight into dating advice.
To help your friend, you have no other choice but to get involved from time to time. So make sure you keep your eyes open and pay attention to the little details!
You can learn a lot by just listening: how things should be done, what is considered romantic and not romantic at all, or even maybe some dating tips that could help improve your relationship with yourself or someone else.
5. If they’re in a secret relationship, you’re the perfect cover for them.
Now you know that they’re lying to their family and friends about their relationship; they need a cover as well. So they can keep you for them for the meantime, pretending like they’re innocent and just hanging out with you. That way, you have to pretend as well to make sure everything goes smoothly.
6. You can be the mediator to their relationship problems.
As a third wheel, you know more about both your friend and boyfriend or girlfriend than they do. So if there’s something wrong with each other, you can talk to them both individually for advice on fixing it. Sometimes if they don’t have anyone else to trust, they will confide in you instead of their significant other. This might cause problems between the two, but at least a solution has been thought of – thanks to you!
7. You are the distraction from their relationship problems.
Usually, when couples break up because of some problems, being the third wheel will help them take their mind off and forget about the issue. By being with them, you are helping each other get over their relationship problems. Finally, the two of them will have a blast!
8. You will feel needed when talking about love troubles.
This could either be good or bad: On one hand, you get involved and feel wanted by taking part in their relationship discussions, but on the other hand, they don’t actually need nor want your advice and just talk to you out of pity.
9. You get to know how things work out when they break up.
If a couple actually breaks up because of some issues, all you have to do is just listen. By being there for them and listening to what happened, you’ll be able to determine if your friend should take the time to learn more about themselves or if their relationship with their significant other isn’t meant to last forever.
In addition, it’s important that you point them in the right direction so that they will be happy no matter what happens!
10. You can tell the truth from an outside perspective if necessary.
If need be (Which I hope not), feel free to say something from an outsider’s perspective on why he or she broke up. If you feel it’s needed, just say how you think your friend should handle the situation and let it be out for them to hear!
11. You can see what happens after they take advice.
And if a couple actually does work things out because of your advice, then it’s an exciting moment! Not only do they learn how to make their relationship works, but they’re also happy that you were there to help!
See? It’s not too bad being the third wheel as long as you know when to speak up or shut up. You won’t regret anything anymore when you start seeing the positive sides and saying goodbye to those negative thoughts. The more comfortable you are with this, the easier it will be for yourself – especially when you’re the third wheel.
Enjoy yourself while observing other people’s relationships and romantic problems without getting involved or muddling them in the process. You’ll also be able to guide them so that they’ll always enjoy the time they spend with each other.
Struggles Of Being The Third Wheel
Here is a list of struggles you have to deal with when you’re the third wheel:
1. You can’t control their relationship.
You may watch for them and give tips on improving it, but you don’t have any control over controlling it. It’s not your business, so make sure nothing gets out of hand! On the other hand, don’t get into trouble by meddling too much into the couple’s problems. They are responsible for dealing with their own issues while having a fun time together, right? Just keep it that way!
2. You may feel unnecessary.
There are times when you may feel left out and unwanted, especially if they talk about things that only couples do, but of course, those things should be kept between the two of them!
You can’t say anything or else possibly ruin their moment, so all you can do is keep your mouth shut.
But you don’t have to feel bad about it. It’s a learning process because, in the end, they will appreciate your presence more and more!
3. You can get hurt.
There are times when you might actually get hurt physically or emotionally when things go out of hand. So try not to be too close to those people because being directly involved with their problems is too much for any third wheel. If the situation gets out of control, just forget about what happened and move on…
4. You have boundary issues.
You also need to know where your limits should be especially if you’re being involved with them from an outside perspective already. You don’t want to give false information that could mess them up! Everyone’s after a happy ending so let the couple be responsible for things and enjoy them while observing a beautiful love story.
5. You don’t want to pick sides when they argue.
Again, it’s not your business, so you shouldn’t get in the middle of things. You know how complicated relationships are and how they can get into trouble to pick aside.
It may get more complicated, and it’s just better if you stay on the sidelines.
6. You may end up developing feelings for one of them.
The truth is, it’s most likely that you’ll actually fall for someone in this situation. It’s like a romantic comedy movie only happening in real life so try not to fall for either of them!
7. The couple might forget about your presence.
Just like what I said earlier, it is up to them to appreciate your presence because you just can’t be there every time they need someone to talk to.
So the best thing to do is to make your presence felt when they forget you’re around. Do things that they will appreciate for them to see how much fun it is to have you around!
8. You may get jealous of the couple’s time and attention.
It’s normal to get jealous of the couple’s time and attention, so just do your best in being a good third wheel and encourage them to spend quality time together!
9. Third-wheeling can actually get annoying for yourself too!
Third-wheeling gets boring sometimes, especially if nothing interesting goes on between those two people who are supposed to be crazy about each other! Just remember that it isn’t your job to intervene in their conversations or even fix/advise them. If you make yourself busy while there then you’ll enjoy the time spent with them!
ALSO READ: 10 Surprising Benefits of being Single in College
Photo by Ma. Myrelle Montallana
Thanks man!!! i really neeeded this cause my friend got date coming up!!!!
This reminds me of those super depressed people who say a bunch of reasons why depression is awful so people don’t worry about them.
Wow!! This is cool. Looking forward for more articles like this pearl.
This blog is awesome….keep up the good work pearl?