10 Ways to Build Emotional Intimacy in a Relationship

The strongest relationships are built on love, trust, and respect, but in order to have them all, couples should have this vital element even at the beginning of their life together: emotional intimacy. This is because the connection built through an emotionally-secured bond is both sacred and unbreakable.

So many couples break up because they failed to recognize the importance of building emotional intimacy in their relationship while only focusing on the physical aspect of it. While some of them just intentionally choose the latter, others just simply don’t know how to do the right thing.

If you want to know the ways to build emotional intimacy in a relationship, this article will tell you where to start. Here they are.

1. Talk about the past with an open mind.
The past is rather a sensitive topic especially for couples who are just starting to grow a relationship. Sometimes, it can even be a painful experience just to narrate the stories that broke your heart but it’s an important step in building emotional intimacy with your present boyfriend or girlfriend.

By showing them what you’ve been through, they will know why you act and react the way you do. Why is this important? It’s because no matter how much you try, your past experiences and the people you were with can shape your present beliefs and values – and helping your partner understand this is a big and vital step.

2. Acknowledge the things that hurt them.
Just like how you have to help your partner know the experiences that helped you grow as a person, you also have to acknowledge their own experiences and the things that hurt them. To build an emotionally-strong relationship, be conscious of the instances, actions, and even words that can make them feel hurt or unloved.

Emotionally intimate couples are sensitive enough to know the right words to say and when to say them. They feel what their partner feels, and they understand why such connection is necessary for both growth and healing.

3. Know the things that make them feel alive.
Aside from having a clear understanding of the things that hurt them, you also have to know the things, places, people, and activities that make them feel alive. This way, you’ll get to have a glimpse of who they are when they are at their best.

Such knowledge and understanding can eventually guide you to even just the basics of how to make them feel excited and happy in your relationship especially when you’re facing challenging times.

4. Accept and get to know the people that make them happy.
Accept the people who were there for them even when you were not yet together. They were there first, helping your partner grow and enjoy life even before you entered the picture – so if you want to build an emotionally-intimate relationship, show them that you’re not the jealous type.

Emotional intimacy starts when you feel secure about your own place in your life. Emotional intimacy only comes when you are not bothered by the negativities like jealousy and insecurity.

ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Overcome Insecurities in a Relationship

5. Spend the good and the bad days holding hands.
Emotionally-intimate couples know the importance of facing bad times together instead of leaving each other alone and vulnerable. In fact, they understand that only those couples who face the storms together can create that rare yet beautiful relationship built on a strong emotional bond.

These very same types of couples are also the ones who get to celebrate the good days with genuine happiness and pride.

6. Break all your walls and let them in.
Intimacy starts when both people trust each other despite their fears, weaknesses, and vulnerability. That is why it is important to break all your walls and let your partner in. Trust them to keep you safe and to protect you from the dangers of love and life.

Emotional intimacy can only exist if you have this trust for your partner and the only way to do that is to take off that armor and let them see the real you.

7. Bond over the mundane, day-to-day things and just have fun.
Emotional intimacy may be a deep and solemn aspect of your relationship, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t build them through the most mundane and simplest things you do as a couple. In fact, just spending the day together, doing day-to-day things while having fun is a quick and sure way to make them feel emotionally bonded with you.

So cook together, visit your local museum, bond over a romantic movie, or just sit there and relax. It’s important that you feel comfortable doing these things together if you want your love to last.

8. Be genuine and sincere in everything you say and do.
Emotional intimacy can only be present in couples who practice sincerity and honesty in everything they do. Be genuine when expressing love and care towards your partner – and this does not even take a lot of effort if you’re truly in love.

Make them feel that they don’t have to doubt your words and your intention. Let them trust you by just being true to what you feel.

ALSO READ: 10 Ways to be Sincere in a Relationship

9. Have meaningful conversations and just be you.
Deep and meaningful conversations can help you create wonderful memories as a couple – and the best relationships have actually started from these types of interactions. This is because talking to someone does not only reveal who they really are but it helps you get a glimpse of the things that they want to try to hide from other people.

These conversations can help couples build emotional intimacy because they serve as a bridge to reach out to each other, to know what’s really going on in their head, and to understand why they hurt, laugh, and love.

10. Master the art of humor – make them laugh!
Emotional intimacy is present among couples who are good at making each other laugh. Humor is a huge factor for a long-lasting relationship and many people can agree that they don’t get tired of being with anyone who can easily crack them up.

Emotional intimacy may sound like a serious topic, but laughter can make a huge difference in helping couples build a strong emotional bond in a more fun and lighter avenue.

Building emotional intimacy in your relationship means opening yourself to another person who may or may not share the same perspectives and interests as you. However, as long as you care and love each other, you should not be afraid to let another person see your soul. It’s the only way to create a genuinely strong bond and build a lasting emotional connection that will help your relationship grow.

ALSO READ: 10 Ways to Build and Maintain Trust in a Relationship

Online courses recommended for you:

• Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
  Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose.
• Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
  This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.

Charm Villalon

Charm is a writer and a student. She is currently completing her Graduate Degree in Language Studies while refining her creativity and related skills through the visual arts: drawing and painting.