Jealousy in a romantic relationship is normal. It may be triggered by our love or fear of losing someone dear to us. However, jealousy is not all cute. Oftentimes, it could involve a toxic relationship, abuse, and both physical and verbal violence.
If your boyfriend is exhibiting violent jealousy that could ruin your life, you should consider seeking help from your family and friends and get out of your toxic relationship to protect yourself and your future.
However, if you believe he is just being a normal nonviolent jealous boyfriend just like all the other guys who are scared to lose you in his life, here are some effective ways to deal with him.
1. Be a more patient partner.
Love is patient. Hence, develop patience within yourself. Don’t be easily angered or irritated when your boyfriend is getting jealous. If your boyfriend gives you jealousy, calm yourself and give him patience in return. Grow yourself and be a more patient person. This way, you will inspire your boyfriend to also grow as a person, as well as your relationship with him.
2. Develop humility.
A jealous boyfriend is a doubtful person. He will not trust you easily. He may treat you as an untrustworthy person. But don’t be offended easily. Try to be more humble. Perhaps, your efforts are not just enough to convince him that he can trust you. Pride cannot manage jealousy, but humility will. By becoming more humble, you will realize that there are still more to learn.
3. Be selfless.
You might think that a jealous boyfriend is a selfish person because he is not listening to your words and not giving you peace. But instead of making him listen to you, have you tried to listen to him? Have you tried to give him the peacefulness he seeks from you? If you think you are not currently practicing selflessness, try to practice it now. Consider forgetting yourself for a moment to understand what your guy really needs.
4. Be open, not too defensive.
A jealous boyfriend is a confused man trying to get some enlightenment from his girlfriend. That is why he will ask you questions, not to condemn you, but to re-establish his trust in you. Hence, be open and honest. Putting some walls is not the way to deal with his jealousy. It will only make further misunderstanding and make the situation worse.
5. Be kind and warm.
If you think that your boyfriend is always jealous, it might be because you are always being cold and bad-tempered around him. To inspire your boyfriend to change, you also have to change his environment. Rather than being cold and ill-tempered, always be kind and warm around him.
6. Make him feel valued and special.
Treasure and honor him. Don’t hide him like an embarrassing item, but introduce him to your parents, friends, and colleagues. This will make him improve his self-esteem and help him get rid of jealousy… and insecurity.
7. Be sincere.
It might be fun playing with your boyfriend when he’s experiencing the green-eyed monster. However, you have to realize that your boy isn’t a toy, and just like every person in the world, whether a guy or a girl, he doesn’t want to be played like a fool. Thus, deal your boyfriend’s jealousy with sincerity. Be careful with both his heart and mind. Try to address his jealous feelings with maturity.
8. Be affectionate.
Why would your boyfriend be jealous if you will always shower him with tender loving care? Be sweet to him, hug him, and always hold his hands. With your love and comfort, the green-eyed monster can hardly conquer your man.
9. Be thoughtful.
Physical affection may not be enough to help your boyfriend get rid of jealousy. You also have to touch his mind. Making him realize that you are always thinking of him will give him no reason to get jealous. Hence, go surprise him with a gift or cook his favorite food. It doesn’t need to be perfect – it’s the thought that counts anyway.
10. Know and understand him deeper.
How well do you know your partner? Do you know the reason why he is jealous? Remember that knowing is loving. The more you know your partner, the more you will understand and discover good things about him. There may be a good reason why he is jealous. Perhaps, it’s just that you are so precious in his life and he is afraid to lose you. Whatever his reason is good or bad, approach him with understanding and compassion.
11. Teach and help him trust you.
Your jealous boyfriend is stubborn and annoying. He is distrustful, but the truth is, he is also trying his best to strengthen his trust in you and stop being a jealous boyfriend. No one wants to get jealous anyway. Jealousy isn’t fun – it’s mentally and emotionally excruciating. Thus, he needs your help to get rid of his jealousy – his pain and suffering.
12. Make him feel like a real man.
As women want to be treated like a woman, men also want to be treated like a man. To help your boyfriend cope with his jealousy, treat him like a man. How? Be a woman. Consider not going to dangerous places, thinking you can protect yourself alone. Don’t let opportunist men easily approach you, believing you can easily deal with them. Instead, recognize your boyfriend – let him protect and lead you. Respect yourself as a woman as you respect your boyfriend as a man.
13. Don’t lie.
The best way to deal with your boyfriend’s jealousy is to be honest at all times. Be a girlfriend who can proudly ask your boyfriend “when was the last time I lied to you?” when he is not convinced with your answers. If he knows you are not the type of a person who lies, he won’t have any reason to doubt you.
14. Honor him and your relationship.
A boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, though not greater as a marriage relationship, is also a form of partnership that must be honored by the people who entered into it. If you want your boyfriend to stop being jealous, honor him as your boyfriend. Don’t act as if you’re single. Honor your partnership and take care of your relationship.
15. Show some faith.
If you want your boyfriend to have faith in you, you have to have faith in him too. Perhaps, your bigger problem now is that your partner is not being faithful to you. But have you ever asked yourself if you are also being faithful to him? If not, then start showing faith. Don’t lose hope. Believe that he, with your help, can someday get rid of his jealousy.
ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Remain Faithful in a Relationship
16. Love him through actions.
Love conquers all, including jealousy. So if you want to defeat your man’s green-eyed monster, show him not only love but pure and true love. Don’t just always tell him you love him, but also let your actions of love be louder than your words.
When you love him and when you fear of losing him, you could also show some form of gentle jealousy. This mild jealousy from your loving heart could overthrow the jealousy of your boyfriend. Besides, most of the time, the reason why your partner is jealous is that you’re not showing even just a little bit of jealousy to him.
Dealing with your jealous boyfriend is actually not only for your boyfriend’s sake. It is actually for your own personal development. It may be your boyfriend’s fault why he is jealous. But who cares? If you love him, you can help him get rid of his jealousy. And if you love your relationship, you can always do everything to save, protect, and nurture it.
Finally, if you love yourself, you can always grow by becoming more patient, calm, kind, warm, loving, understanding, and a better person to deal with jealousy and other issues in your relationship and life itself.
ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Deal with a Jealous Girlfriend