Do you have that so-called friend who always uses his or her successes to measure yours and make you feel that you are not good enough? Do you have that family member who always puts you down? Do you have that workmate who counters or dismisses anything you say? If your answer is affirmative, you might have a toxic person or toxic people in your life.
Their relationship with you doesn’t matter. It is important to deal with them because they might stunt your growth, may make you question your worth, or may add up to your stress. Read on to see how you can effectively deal with them:
1. Determine why you find them toxic.
What made you say that they are toxic? Are they manipulating you? Are they making you feel bad about your life? Know how those toxic people contribute toxicity to your life, so you will know how to deal with them.
2. Examine yourself.
This does not mean that you are blaming yourself for the actions of other people. The reason why you need to examine yourself is that it can help you reduce the effect of toxicity. If the toxic people keep on using their successes to measure yours, examine yourself. Your timeline and standards might be different from them. They might use money as a measurement of success, but you might consider your family. You might have prioritized family before wealth, but it does not mean that you have no plans to be wealthy. This difference can help you block the toxicity that others inflict on you. You’re on the right track based on your own standards, priorities, and timeline, so you don’t need to be affected by what they say.
3. Don’t take it personally.
Don’t let the negative action affect you and occupy your mind for the whole day. Remember that possibly, those toxic people are broken inside, and them pushing others down is their way to feel better. Be the better person and the understanding one. Shrug them off.
4. Tell someone else about it.
Talking to other people about the toxic ones in your life can help you see the situation from another perspective. In addition, it can also help you release your feelings somehow. Who knows, they can offer you solutions to your problem.
5. Call them out.
Did they say something that offended you? Have their actions bothered you? Voice out how you felt. Discuss why their statement or actions offended or bothered you. By being vocal about the problem, you can make the toxic people realize what is wrong. You can be direct by saying “I felt offended by what you said”, and continue with the explanation behind what you felt and why you felt that way.
6. Reduce the time you spend with toxic people.
If avoiding contact with them is inevitable, at least reduce your time of contact with them. They might be a workmate, a so-called friend in your circle, or a relative, so you just can’t avoid them completely. But then, it does not mean you will not do anything about it. For example, if the toxic person is a workmate, talk only to that person if the topic is about work. By reducing the time you spend with that toxic person, you can also reduce his or her effect on you.
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7. Stay away from the cause of toxicity.
If that toxic person is someone you can remove from your life completely, do so. No ifs and buts. Even if the toxic person is your friend, you can’t deny the fact that he or she is toxic and isn’t doing anything good in your life. Let only things have sentimental value, not people. If that friend’s existence in your life is more of a curse than a blessing, usher him or her out. You might be good friends before, but you need to accept the fact that times have changed and that your life needs to continue without him or her.
8. Cut your ties with them even online.
Toxic people don’t just affect you when you are facing them physically. Sometimes, they can inflict toxicity on you even online. Are you still connected with them on social media? Do they still inflict toxicity on you online based on what they post or send you? Block them from your accounts, so they won’t be able to talk to you anymore. In this way, you will also not be bothered by the things they post or tweet.
9. Join a new circle of friends.
What if that toxic person is a part of your circle of friends? Should you isolate yourself and be alone? The answer is no. Find another circle where you’ll fit in. Join hiking groups if hiking is your hobby. Attend calligraphy classes if you want. Attend photo walks if you’re passionate about photography. People in those groups might be friends waiting to be found.
10. Be on guard.
Now you’ve found a new circle, should you let your guards down? No. No matter how welcoming you might want to be, you just can’t let a new batch of toxic people stay in your life. You need to protect yourself from the people who might cause you harm. So, if you detect a toxic person in your new circle, you need to deal with him or her.
11. Remember not to perpetuate the cycle.
The toxic people might have stayed in your life long enough that you might have lost track of their damages on you. Do you now dismiss other people’s ideas because your ideas were not given a chance by the toxic people in your life? Check the changes in your habit and mindset. Make sure that you do not pass the toxicity on. Heal yourself and stay free from toxic people!
So, do you have some toxic people in your life? Having them aboard can stunt your growth and make you feel unhappy and discontented. You’ve just read the list on how you should deal with them, and now is the time to put them into action. Start to travel lighter in the course of life!
ALSO READ: 10 Tips on How to Fix a Toxic Relationship