Happiness. They say it’s a choice to be happy, and when you make a choice, you have to work for it. The same applies to relationships: if you want your relationship to be a happy one, then you have to commit to achieve it. Sure, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship and in one point or another, you and your significant other will be facing ups and downs, some easy to resolve, while others can be too heavy to bear.
True love is never sugarcoated, nor treated with band-aid solutions. Hence, you should know how to make your relationship for keeps, and these tips may be of great help:
1. It takes two to tango.
Relationships are a two-way street, and they don’t work when only one side is functioning. You can’t just give and give, or take and take when in a relationship. It may work at first, but it easily gets exhausting especially when you know that you deserve fairness. So yes, you may want to practice working together with your partner to make the most of your time together, and not just go for one-sided decisions.
2. Respect the need for space.
A relationship is formed when two individuals decide to act together as a couple. But that doesn’t automatically mean that they do everything as one. You may then want to respect when your partner asks for space, or acknowledge the feeling when you’re the one who needs space, because at the end of the day you two are still different and separate individuals.
Space is very important in any relationship, as this serves as the opportunity to let the steam off, relax, and freshen up before getting back on track in your couple goals.
3. Treat each other as equals.
One cannot be dominant or submissive towards the other, or vice versa. So it is important that you are able to treat your partner as an equal, and not someone you worship or someone you can belittle. Why did you enter into a relationship in the first place? It’s because you’ve found each other’s equal, each other’s partner that’s intended to be for keeps.
4. Don’t let the anger consume you.
It’s common in any relationship to experience fights and arguments. But these can be discussed and resolved calmly, so don’t ever let the anger consume you. Anger can trigger lots more of unnecessary emotions that may only aggravate the status of your argument, and this is not in any way healthy.
Hence, resolve problems as immediately as possible.
5. Nurture the friendship.
Before becoming a couple, you and your partner have started out as friends. How else did you fall in love with each other in the first place? In this light, you should not forget to continue nurturing your friendship, as this is what makes your relationship intact.
Being friends allows you and your significant other to be more open and honest to each other while at the same time taking care of both your feelings, as you know how to approach one another as lovers and as friends.
6. Accept each other’s differences.
While you may have fallen in love with certain qualities that your partner possesses, you should also bear in mind that he or she has flaws too, just like you do. It is highly important that you are able to accept each other’s differences, as not recognizing these may not only put a toll on your relationship, but also make you fall out of love from each other.
It is best to keep in mind that there’s no such thing as a dream girl or a dream boy; we are all born with imperfections. But these same imperfections are the ones that spice up the relationship, so long as you know how to manage them right.
7. Go out and explore life together.
You cannot spend all the time locked up in your room with your significant partner doing nothing but “Netflix and chill.” You’ll only get tired of each other’s presence within a matter of time. So yes, get out, enjoy the sunshine, and explore life together. Take a class, meet new people, travel to places you haven’t visited. Sure, these may call for a budget, but they are definitely worth the investment especially when you and your partner are eager to get to know each other on a much deeper level.
8. Give what you want to get.
If you want trust, then trust your partner. If you want to be showered with sweetness, then be sweet. This is such a simple rule that most people in relationships fail to understand, but this is the true essence of partnership: you simply have to give what you want to get. You partner only reciprocates whatever you give him or her, so if you only give selfishness and hatred, then you already know what you’re going to receive.
9. Get regular tune-ups from support groups.
It also helps a lot when you have people to turn to for a fresh perspective, especially when you and your partner are in a relationship slump. You might want to have a support group of people you trust, and ask their advice whenever you’re having couple problems. You may also want to attend counseling sessions for couples, as in these venues you are able to see how other people work their relationships out for the better.
10. Face your fear and pain.
Facing your fears and pains is part of keeping your relationship healthy, as it when you face these emotions you are able to find ways to get stronger. It’s common for couples to encounter situations that they dread, but rather than run from them it is best to face them hand in hand. Don’t let the anguish get the best of you, as once you face it headstrong, you’ll realize it’s not that bad after all.
11. Be as patient as you can.
Your partner may have committed to join you in your journey, but it’s not every day that he or she can keep up with your ideals. Hence, if you want the both of you to continue on the journey together, then be as patient as you can. Try to understand the weaknesses and shortcomings, and rather than be upset, look for the areas of opportunity that you both can improve on.
By being patient, your partner will be more than willing to change and improve, and as well be patient to your own shortcomings too.
12. Keep in mind that you are responsible for your happiness.
Lastly, it is important to remember that happiness is a goal that you are responsible for. Your partner should realize this as well, otherwise, you both will find it difficult to be happy together. Happiness is different from merely enjoying each other’s company; it is a sense of fulfillment and the will to continue living life together, despite all the challenges that you as a couple may encounter along the way.
Happiness is not done via magic. It’s about putting together the elements of love, trust, friendship, and commitment. It’s a product of hard work, which only you and your partner can create and achieve together.