Maintaining a relationship is already challenging. The more it gets challenging when distance gets in the way. Despite the help of technology, making schedules meet is still hard to do. However, despite the clear hindrance that it poses, there are some who have brave hearts to beat the odds. For the girls who chose to be brave, here are some ways to maintain a long distance relationship with your boyfriend:
1. Find your common way of communication.
There are a lot of things to consider in selecting your way of communication because there are a lot of kinds of long distance relationships. If you have the same time zone but are in different countries, good for you. You have one less thing to worry about — the similarity in time. What you just need to decide about is your way of communication. Is it more convenient for the both of you to talk over the phone at dinner time? Can you talk to each other during the day by chatting? Are you only available during the weekends? Discuss the way with your boyfriend, so you will not expect him to reply in a way of communication that does not suit him.
2. Value the quality and not the quantity.
Now that you’ve decided on your way of communicating with your boyfriend, remember that you need to focus on the quality of communication and not the quantity of communication. You don’t have to talk to your boyfriend the whole day every day just to compensate for the distance between you two. It might become taxing. Focus on the quality of communication to keep your conversation meaningful.
3. Stay true to your words.
If you say you’ll have a skype date on a specific time, stay true to it. Don’t cancel it all of a sudden because there’s a flash sale and you want to get the best deals with your girl friends. Finding a similar time in a long distance relationship is challenging, so don’t choose another activity over your pre-scheduled dates. If you already told your boyfriend that you’re available at a specific time, don’t set another plan with someone else.
4. Don’t skip the tangible things.
Sometimes, people underestimate the value of tangible gifts. However, in a long distance relationship, tangible things become more significant because they remind you of your partner. Also, it shouldn’t always be the guys who give girls gifts. So, don’t hesitate to send your boyfriend something that can help you remind him of you. It’s not that you need to give him a frame with your picture. Give him things he can use always to help you remind him of you on the different moments of his day.
5. Trust your boyfriend.
You can’t go accusing your boyfriend of having an affair just because he liked a post or a picture of another girl. You shouldn’t get jealous of the girls in the group he hangs out with. Learn to trust your man.
6. Allow him to have his “me” time.
Does he like to play basketball? Does he want to spend time playing online games with his friends? Does he like going to the gym? Allow him to have his “me” time even when you’re apart. You shouldn’t demand that he gives all his free time to you. He also has a life to live.
7. Stay honest with your boyfriend.
Playing mind games in a relationship is already unhealthy, and the more you should quit doing it when you are in a long distance relationship. You can’t say “I’m fine” when you are not and expect your boyfriend to figure out that you’re actually not. It’s more difficult for him to see the signs that you’re not okay because of the distance, so it is best if you’ll stay honest with him. Do you feel neglected the last time he failed to answer your call? Tell him about it. In this way, he will know how you feel, and you can avoid arguments.
8. Be clear about your goals.
Another thing you need to be clear about with your boyfriend is your goals. You might see the long distance relationship as something temporary, and you may want to be together in the future, so be clear with those things. In this way, you won’t take it against him if he doesn’t work towards the goal you have not voiced out.
9. Don’t be miserable without him.
You’ll make him guilty if you do. And you can’t make him do sacrifices like leaving his own career or family just to be with you and lift you out of your misery. If those are the things he does not want to do, don’t force him to. Making him do things out of guilt will build up resentment in the future.
10. Travel somewhere else.
To avoid making him feel like it’s a chore that he has to visit your place always, why not travel somewhere else? For example, instead of asking him to go to your place, meet in a different one. Exploring new places together can help you create new memories. It can also prevent making the meet-up feel monotonous.
11. Spend a valuable time with him.
If you’re together, avoid getting glued on your phone. Quit checking on your IG stories or your news feed when you’re with him. Being physically together is rare in the kind of relationship that you have. So don’t waste it by being mentally absent. Also, avoid making him your human monopod. You don’t want him to feel like you met up with him just so you can have someone to take your pictures, do you? A few snaps, preferably of you two, to immortalize the moment will do.
Starting a long distance relationship is a brave step to take. It needs commitment, love, and endurance to work. Those are just some steps to help you maintain it. Don’t hesitate to tag someone who might need those pieces of advice, too.