Are you the clingy type of girlfriend but still allow your man to meet new people, girls and boys? Or, are you the type of girlfriend who says you trust your boyfriend but actually don’t?
Lack of trust, or the absence of it, can limit your partner’s actions. It’s detrimental to the extent that your boyfriend is not being himself anymore just to please you and gain your trust. Worst, the absence of trust can lead you and your boyfriend parting each other’s ways.
So, how do you show your trust in your boyfriend? Here are some ways for you to build trust in your relationship. These are also secrets to a happy and healthy relationship.
1. Let him go out with his friends.
Even though you are together, your world does not revolve around you and your boyfriend alone. You need to give your boyfriend his personal space and time. If you allow him to hang out with his friends, boys and girls, it means you feel secure and confident enough that he will not do anything that can ruin your relationship.
ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Overcome Insecurities in a Relationship
2. Don’t keep on calling him when he’s out.
Some girls allow their boyfriends to go out with friends, but they keep on monitoring what they do, where they are, and who they are with almost every second of the day. Trusting your boyfriend means knowing that he will call and update you on his own. Let your boyfriend enjoy his social life. You wouldn’t want your boyfriend to do the same thing when you’re out with your “girl” friends. Remember what Confucius said: “Don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.”
3. Don’t spy on your boyfriend.
Aside from always calling their boyfriends, there are girls who would follow or go somewhere near the location of their boyfriends. That’s a whole different level of trust issues right there. Trusting your boyfriend means you know for yourself that even when he sees girls at a party, he will act accordingly. He knows how mad you can get once he breaks your trust, and he can’t afford that to happen.
ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Resolve Trust Issues in a Relationship
4. Don’t be too inquisitive.
Where have you been? Why did you go home so late? Did you drink too much? Who did you drink with? Were there girls? It’s alright to ask, but don’t ask too many questions; he will feel that you doubt him and his actions. Wait for your boyfriend to talk about his day; wait for him to open up if something is bothering him. By not interrogating him too much, you will make him feel more comfortable and free to speak his mind.
5. Don’t invade his privacy.
Sometimes, girls are tempted to check on their boyfriends’ phones, read messages on their Facebook messenger, and even hack their email accounts. Remember that being a girlfriend does not give you the right to invade your privacy. After all, if he has nothing to hide, he would always leave his phone on the table and even offer you to use it anytime you want.
6. Talk to him if you have concerns.
If you feel that something is off or if he’s been acting a bit strange lately, you can always talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Remind him that you’re always there for him and that you’re willing to listen if he has problems- whether it’s about your relationship, family, or personal issues.
7. Stay calm and rational.
In connection with talking to your boyfriend, make sure that you stay calm and rational. Sometimes, girls tend to get mad first before they can relay their message to their boyfriends. For instance, you were full of rage after seeing a picture of him with his girl officemates. While you want your boyfriend to understand the implicature behind your words, you can’t always expect him to get what you mean. Ask him, but don’t sound as if you’re already judging his answers. Allow him to explain and let you understand the context of the situation.
8. Believe in what he says.
After hearing his answers, believe in what he says. Don’t call him a liar, a traitor, an idiot, or whatnot. Rather, make him feel that you do not doubt his words because you love him that much that you trust what he says. This gives him the obligation to always be honest with you. He knows you trust him, and it’s now up to him to keep or break that trust.
9. Don’t let your past affect your current relationship.
If you experienced heartbreak in the past, not just once but many times, it’s understandable that you may have some trust issues. However, remember that you have to live in the present, not in the past. Don’t let the betrayal of the past affect the loyalty of the present. You can’t make your boyfriend suffer from a mistake that your ex-lover did. He’s a different person. He is your now, and he may be your future, so trust him.
10. Trust yourself.
You know it’s hard to give something that you don’t have. If you don’t trust yourself, how can you trust your boyfriend? That goes the same with loving yourself first before loving another person. Well, you can love your boyfriend by not loving yourself too much, but that’s a different story. Trust yourself; claim it. Believe that you can give the same trust to your boyfriend. You have committed to a relationship with him, so trust him with all your heart.
11. Trust in your love.
As they always say, love conquers all. Trust your boyfriend because you trust in the love that you have for each other. You believe that your love is greater than any temptations out there and that you will stay happy so long as you trust, respect, and love each other.
Guilty of some actions mentioned above? Don’t worry; don’t take it against you. Rather, learn how to trust your boyfriend so long as you see him cooperating with you.
To those who already have a solid foundation of your relationship, keep trusting and the love burning. Trust your boyfriend enough as you imagine yourself being trusted as a girlfriend.
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
Books recommended for you：
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But my boyfriend was out for 10 hours and i didn’t call him bcz i don’t wanna be they cringy gf. But he didn’t call or even text me. Ane he come home and just said that was fun you should’ve been there! What should i do? Now i don’t wanna answer him and want to make him wait. And when i go out with my friends he always calls me or my friends to check up on me.
I must have the worse case of trust issues. I’ve seen therapists and a psychiatrist and I still don’t believe squat diddly he says. We’ve gotten in huge fights bcz he also has anger issues. Together were the atomic bomb 😩 I also suffer from anxiety and depression. Anytime we’re not together I become paranoid with non stop thoughts that he is being unfaithful. I check his phone and find random half naked IG women. Mostly the core problem is that when I try and express any issues to him, he increasingly turns into the HULK. I know this relationship is not healthy and I feel I’m losing myself more and more each day
It’s not what to do.. it’s how to trust him with inside.. not by actions.. we can still do it and not trust him.. when he does all the above mentioned things.
I was actually browsing on how to cure trust issues and I dont know why I got here.😂
Anyway, this one helps me a lot. Being betrayed many times is never that easy. Im in a relationship right now. Im really thankful about this guy for being so understanding in spite of my worst trust issue. I always nagged him and get mad whenever he replied to my messages late. I know it’s quite unreasonable but it really freaked me out. That’s why he always explain that he’s not my ex anymore. He’s not the one who betrayed me and I have to trust him. He always take some time to make me understand that our situation would not be as same as how my past was. Im thankful for this man and I hope that this trust issue of mine would heal so soon. I don’t want my present boyfriend get hurt by my non sense accusations anymore. Xoxo!💋
I’m in the same boat as you. I have that problem. But when I talk to him bout how I feel or my opinion he don’t ever want to hear me out or when he does it’s a huge argument 😞 . We both been hurt from our past relationships and been deceived by them.
What if your boyfriend doesn’t open up and never likes to express how he is feeling or if he goes to hang out but doesn’t go into how the night was?!
my ex used to go to parties, get drunk and cheat on me. he would say he didn’t want me on his phone because it was an invasion of privacy but was hiding him cheating. my current boyfriend is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i’ve never loved anyone like this, he’s a very flirty person and parties and gets drunk with a lot of girls. hangs with girls he used to like 1 on 1. and tells me he doesn’t want me to invade his privacy, i can’t help but feel uncomfortable with these things??? like it eats me up inside and gets under my skin and when i try to bring it up he just gets annoyed about me being insecure so idk what i’m supposed to do????
I’m trying to trust my boyfriend and stop nagging him .
I’m trying to trust my boyfriend too. I find myself spying on his social media but I tell him I trust him. But deep down in my heart I really don’t but I’m trying to. I know how it feels when you’re in a relationship and the other person don’t trust you and you’re really not doing anything but it’s so hard because of past experiences.