Are you the clingy type of girlfriend but still allow your man to meet new people, girls and boys? Or, are you the type of girlfriend who says you trust your boyfriend but actually don’t?
Lack of trust, or the absence of it, can limit your partner’s actions. It’s detrimental to the extent that your boyfriend is not being himself anymore just to please you and gain your trust. Worst, the absence of trust can lead you and your boyfriend parting each other’s ways.
So, how do you show your trust to your boyfriend? Here are some ways for you to build trust in your relationship. These are also secrets to a happy and healthy relationship.
1. Let him go out with his friends.
Even though you are together, your world does not revolve around you and your boyfriend alone. You need to give your boyfriend his personal space and time. If you allow him to hang out with his friends, boys and girls, it means you feel secure and confident enough that he will not do anything that can ruin your relationship.
2. Don’t keep on calling him when he’s out.
Some girls allow their boyfriends to go out with friends, but they keep on monitoring what they do, where they are, and who they are with almost every second of the day. Trusting your boyfriend means knowing that he will call and update you on his own. Let your boyfriend enjoy his social life. You wouldn’t want your boyfriend do the same thing when you’re out with your “girl” friends. Remember what Confucius said: “Don’t do unto others what you don’t want others do unto you.”
3. Don’t spy on your boyfriend.
Aside from always calling their boyfriends, there are girls who would follow or go somewhere near the location of their boyfriends. That’s a whole different level of trust issues right there. Trusting your boyfriend means you know for yourself that even when he sees girls in a party, he will act accordingly. He knows how mad you can get once he breaks your trust, and he can’t afford that to happen.
4. Don’t be too inquisitive.
Where have you been? Why did you go home so late? Did you drink too much? Who did you drink with? Were there girls? It’s alright to ask, but don’t ask too many questions; he will feel that you doubt him and his actions. Wait for your boyfriend to talk about his day; wait for him to open up if something is bothering him. By not interrogating him too much, you will make him feel more comfortable and free to speak his mind.
5. Don’t invade his privacy.
Sometimes, girls are tempted to check on their boyfriends’ phone, read messages on their Facebook messenger, and even hack their email accounts. Remember that being a girlfriend does not give you the right to invade his privacy. After all, if he has nothing to hide, he would always leave his phone on the table and even offer you to use it anytime you want.
6. Talk to him if you have concerns.
If you feel that something is off or if he’s been acting a bit strange lately, you can always talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Remind him that you’re always there for him and that you’re willing to listen if he has problems- whether it’s about your relationship, family, or personal issues.
7. Stay calm and rational.
In connection with talking to your boyfriend, make sure that you stay calm and rational. Sometimes, girls tend to get mad first before they can relay their message to their boyfriends. For instance, you were full of rage after seeing a picture of him with his girl officemates. While you want your boyfriend to understand the implicature behind your words, you can’t always expect him to get what you mean. Ask him, but don’t sound as if you’re already judging his answers. Allow him to explain and let you understand the context of the situation.
8. Believe in what he says.
After hearing his answers, believe in what he says. Don’t call him a liar, a traitor, an idiot, or whatnot. Rather, make him feel that you do not doubt his words because you love him that much that you trust what he says. This gives him the obligation to always be honest with you. He knows you trust him, and it’s now up to him to keep or break that trust.
9. Don’t let your past affect your current relationship.
If you experienced heartbreak in the past, not just once but many times, it’s understandable that you may have some trust issues. However, remember that you have to live in the present, not in the past. Don’t let the betrayal of the past affect the loyalty of the present. You can’t make your boyfriend suffer from a mistake that your ex-lover did. He’s a different person. He is your now, and he may be your future, so trust him.
10. Trust yourself.
You know it’s hard to give something that you don’ have. If you don’t trust yourself, how can you trust your boyfriend? That goes the same with loving yourself first before loving another person. Well, you can love your boyfriend by not loving yourself too much, but that’s a different story. Trust yourself; claim it. Believe that you can give the same trust to your boyfriend. You have committed into a relationship with him, so trust him with all your heart.
11. Trust in your love.
As they always say, love conquers all. Trust your boyfriend because you trust in the love that you have for each other. You believe that your love is greater than any temptations out there and that you will stay happy so long as you trust, respect, and love each other.
Guilty of some actions mentioned above? Don’t worry; don’t take it against you. Rather, learn how to trust your boyfriend so long as you see him cooperating with you.
To those who already have a solid foundation of your relationship, keep trusting and the love burning. Trust your boyfriend enough as you imagine yourself being trusted as a girlfriend.