Do you feel paranoid when your girlfriend goes out with her friends? Do you not like it when your girlfriend hangs out around her guy friends from high school? Do feel the need to have your girlfriend with you all the time?
If you answered “yes” to all three questions above, then you may have a hard time trusting your girlfriend.
You don’t know how or why, but you just feel this way. It’s not that you don’t love your girlfriend, because you do! It’s not like she’s done anything for you to not trust her.
It’s just so hard sometimes to let go of people we really care about, right?
But what if your girlfriend isn’t liking it anymore? One day, she suddenly tells you that she can’t take it anymore because she can’t breathe in the relationship. You feel the familiar panic rising up your throat, you tell her you love her, and you both come up with a compromise.
So how do you form a better way to trust your girlfriend?
Don’t worry because we have got you covered with five ways you can try:
1. Open yourself up to her.
Ask yourself: have you been opening up about your thoughts and feelings recently? Because if you haven’t then maybe it’s time to start. There might be a couple of reasons why you’re having the feelings in your chest: you might have trust issues from a previous relationship, you feel insecure about yourself, and your girlfriend has probably given you reasons to not trust her.
We often take trauma and extra baggage from our previous relationships so don’t feel like you’re alone. If you experienced being betrayed by an ex before, then it’s completely understandable that you’re having trust issues. But think about it, do you really want your past relationship to reflect and affect your present one?
If you feel insecure about yourself and if you feel like you’re not good enough for her and that she might find someone else, then it is best to tell your girlfriend about these insecurities. Allow her to soothe your concerns and boost your confidence. In order for you to trust your partner, you must be able to trust yourself as well.
On the other hand, if your girlfriend has given you reasons to not trust her, then confront her about her actions and seek a solution for it. If you allow her to continue the things that she’s doing, you will only end up keeping these thoughts to yourself until you finally have enough and proceed to topple and boil over. You don’t need that drama in your life, right?
2. Let her take the wheel.
Give her the chance to lead the relationship to see where it’s going. Perhaps you have been finding yourself taking the reins of the relationship more often. You eat at restaurants where you want to eat, you visit places you want to go to, or you might even decide what she wears or not.
This is not a sign of a healthy relationship and is probably a side effect of the paranoia that you feel within yourself. Take a deep breath first and then let your girlfriend take the wheel. If you want to trust your girlfriend better, then you should let her decide things for herself or for the both of you.
It’s even better when you make your decisions together. You’re in a relationship after all so you must consider each other before making any major decisions. Let her know that you value her opinion and decision-making skills and that you have no intention of suffocating her with the relationship.
3. Know her true intentions.
Another way to better trust your girlfriend is to confront her or ask her about her true intentions. If you don’t already know this, then you must do it at once. Ask her what her intentions are in the relationship and where she honestly thinks this is going.
The significance of this is so that you and your girlfriend are aware of the state of your relationship – which level of intimacy, the depth of the friendship, and the pace at which you’re going. Maybe you’re finding it difficult to place your trust because you’re just not there yet. You’re not ready to fully give yourself up to another person.
This is completely normal and alright, the important thing is to let your partner know as to avoid certain confusions. If you know the state of your relationship better, then it might be easier for you to slowly place your trust on your girl and to allow yourself to be a bit vulnerable.
4. Allow yourself to do the trust fall.
One more way to better trust your girlfriend is to basically just trust her. Walk down to the imaginative cliff, take the figurative dive, and just close your eyes and trust her that she’s going to catch you. While this might be easier said than done, this is also one of the best ways to place your trust on your girlfriend.
By giving her your complete blind trust, you make her feel like you respect her judgment and integrity because you know deep in your heart that she will never hurt you. It takes a lot of courage to just jump off the cliff of trust and it will really mean a lot to your girlfriend.
5. Ask yourself and do some self-reflection.
Lastly, if the three reasons in the first item don’t apply to you, if you haven’t been cheated on, if you don’t feel insecure, or if your girlfriend never gave you a reason to not trust her, then maybe it’s time to do some self-reflection. Are there any underlying issues that you might be feeling that is directly affecting your relationship?
You should ask yourself: maybe it’s me? This doesn’t mean that you are a bad person, it only makes you more human and that’s a good thing.
Trust in any relationship isn’t easily earned. Many people work hard for the trust they have gained in their relationships. If you are having trouble trusting your partner, don’t worry about it because you’re not alone in this.
Trust takes time to build and as long you have an understandable partner who’s willing and patient enough, then everything will be alright.
ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Trust Your Boyfriend