There is nothing wrong with being friends with someone of the opposite sex. Some people even think it is more fantastic to be with opposite-sex friends. However, sometimes this is misinterpreted by other people. They may conclude that something romantic is going on between two friends of different genders. And sometimes, they could be right.
If you are confused about whether you like someone as a crush or a friend, you need to evaluate the effects that a person has on you. Find out the differences between a crush and a friend to settle your feelings once and for all.
1. A crush makes you self-conscious; a friend makes you comfortable with your own skin.
You know that you have a crush on a person if meeting him/her makes you conscious about your appearance and behaviors. Once you know you will be seeing that individual, you would take an extra effort to iron your clothes, make sure your outfit is a head-turner, and wear your favorite perfume.
On the other hand, seeing a friend does not make you conscious about how you look. You realize that s/he is someone you do not have to impress because you are accepted for what you are. You can go out with that person in very casual attire and still feel comfortable about yourself.
2. A crush inspires you to do better; a friend encourages when you are unmotivated.
A lot of people refer to their crushes as their inspiration. Undoubtedly, your crush has also inspired you in many ways. You have probably started going to the gym or running in the morning so you can be slimmer. Or if you are classmates, perhaps you have started studying every night to be outstanding in class.
Meanwhile, a true friend pushes you when you are lazy or procrastinating. That person knows when to remind you to get your act together. Whenever you are frustrated with yourself, a friend gives you a tap on the back, which helps you keep going.
3. A crush is someone you want to impress; a friend is someone you can get real with.
A crush does not only inspire you. It compels you always to put your best foot forward to impress. Whenever that person is around, you cannot afford to be plain or unnoticeable. You want to stand out when it comes to your physical appearance, performance, or even socialization. Suddenly, you become loud and too friendly with everyone.
Whereas, you know that a person is simply a friend for you if you do not have to pretend to be anything else whenever s/he is around. You do not exert too much effort to impress or be liked by that person. It is simply because you know you are accepted for what you are.
4. A crush gives you butterflies in the stomach; a friend makes you nervous in a different way.
Whenever your crush comes your way, you suddenly feel super excited and giddy. You may even hyperventilate. You feel your heart beating faster, and you cannot think clearly. These are clear signs that you like a person.
On the other hand, you do not feel these weird sensations with a friend. Whenever s/he arrives, whether expected or not, you just feel normal. You may feel happy to see that person, but not enough to make you rattle. However, a friend can still make you nervous, especially when s/he teases you whenever your crush is around.
5. A crush keeps you daydreaming until late at night; a friend is someone you brainstorm ‘business plans’ with.
Another sign you have a crush on someone is if s/he keeps running in your head all day long until you fall asleep. It seems that you cannot get that person out of your mind. You do not only think about him/her, but suddenly you start imagining a future with that person.
However, you only keep thinking about your friend if s/he is in trouble, like if the person is very sick, and you cannot help but worry. Furthermore, you do not daydream about building a family with a mere friend. Instead, together, you think about ways on how you can be wealthy or reach your dreams. You just want to succeed together.
6. A crush is perfect in your sight; a friend is accepted for who s/he is, vice versa.
How do you know that you are fascinated with a person? Simple. If everything about a person seems perfect to you, then that is it. You have a big crush on an individual if you cannot see his/her flaws. It looks like s/he has every trait you wish your future mate would have. However, this can be dangerous as you become blinded from seeing the true nature of the person.
On the other hand, there is no spell keeping you from seeing the true color of your friend. You are aware of both of his/her positive and negative traits. Just like how s/he accepts both of your good and bad sides, you also choose to embrace his/her strengths and flaws.
7. A crush is someone whose messages excite you; a friend is someone whose messages cheer you up.
Whenever you see a direct message from your crush, admit it, you cannot help but shriek in excitement. Then, you would not waste any minute to read and reply to it. You wish your conversation would keep going, so you try to come up with exciting topics.
Well, it is different with a friend. Sometimes, it would take you time to open and respond to your friend’s messages, especially if you are busy. It is because you are assured that your friend will remain your friend even if you do not chat or talk for long hours every day. However, it does not mean that you do not value the person’s messages. In fact, chatting with your friend can make you feel better since you can pour out yourself.
8. A crush is someone you want to talk about interesting topics with; a friend is someone you can chat with about anything–and it is still interesting.
In connection with no. 9, you tend to be extra careful with how you talk with your crush. You are conscious of your words since you do not want to turn him/her off. You always try to come up with interesting topics to talk about because you are afraid of boring him/her.
Well, with your friend, you do not have to think hard to find something to talk about. You can definitely talk about anything under the sun, and it will not bore you. Conversations spontaneously happen since you are comfortable talking with each other.
9. A crush can be temporary; a friend can stay for a lifetime.
Typically, a crush is only temporary. Sooner or later, your attraction to the individual will fade away, and s/he will become an ordinary person to you.
However, a true friend will stay until the end. You may not see each other always, or you may not talk all the time, but your connection will remain. Even if both of you have already settled with partners, nothing will change with your relationship.
Is It a Crush or a Friend?
By now, you should already have an idea of how to distinguish a crush from a simple friend. Hopefully, this article will help you settle your feelings and be more comfortable with the people around you.
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- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
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This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
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