Women are often told to look for men who love them more than they (these girls) would ever love these guys back to make sure they won’t be cheated on. However, isn’t this a bit unfair for men? I believe they deserve to be loved as much as possible too.
Well, if you want a better assurance of a long-lasting relationship, I find this advice better—find a person who loves God more than s/he would ever love anyone else. Why? Because a person who loves God fears and obeys Him—and that means s/he would do his/her best to be Christlike in handling any relationship. Humility, honesty, faithfulness, patience, and so on would be seen on him/her.
In my other blogs, I talked about how making a love triangle between God and the couple as among the best ways to make a relationship lasts. Based on what I have witnessed around me, I can really say that those relationships which have God as their foundation are those that stay strong despite many trials.
If you want to know how to put God at the center of your relationship, here are 17 ways that I hope can lead you both closer to Him and each other.
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How to Put God at the Center of Your Relationship: 17 Ways
1. Strengthen your personal relationship with God.
You cannot direct your relationship to the spiritual level if you have not reached it personally yet. Before imposing this goal into the relationship, strengthen your own faith and relationship with your Creator. He can only work in your relationship if you let Him work in your first.
2. Love God first before your partner.
You may find this ridiculous because we are in the 21st century and you think religion should just be 10% of your life. Well, let me assure you that God does not require you to be religious so you can be closer to Him. He wants a father-child relationship with you.
And let me remind you that He has every right to demand that He should be first in your life because He created you—and for Himself (Colossians 1:16).
3. Fear the Lord.
If you are familiar with the story of Joseph the Dreamer, you would notice that when he was tempted by the wife of Potiphar (his master) to sleep with her, he refused her not because he feared her husband but because he did not want to sin against God (Genesis 39).
If you love God, you would fear to do anything that displeases God—not because He gets terribly angry but because you don’t want to hurt Him—and that includes cheating on your partner.
4. Pray for each other.
They say that if you are praying for a person, you become spiritually attached to him/her. Well, I believe it is true because if you keep on blessing your partner in the spirit, you contribute to his/her well-being in the physical realm. Making this a habit between you is also one way of supporting and helping each other.
5. Pray together.
Surely, you are familiar with the saying: “A family that prays together stays together”. If you have a plan to be a family someday, then starting a prayer habit now is just healthy. Instead of bickering over problems, why don’t you kneel down together and pray about them?
6. Church time before the date.
On Sundays, before you go on a date, make it a rule to go to church together first. Also, if the time is limited and you have to choose between God-time and babe-time, then I strongly encourage you to go for God-time. God honors those who honor Him, so if He sees that you put Him first before your relationship, then I believe He will bless you with more time for each other.
7. Study God’s Word together.
Personally, I find the Bible full of wisdom that can help us handle the different areas of life, including relationships. If you are a Christian and you believe the Bible as God-breathed scriptures, then I suggest that you take time to study it as a couple. I encourage you to be part of a small group that discusses how the Bible can be applied in life.
8. Ask God to help you change your bad attitudes.
A healthy relationship does not require you to change your personality—but it motivates you to change bad attitudes. Aside from cheating, many broken relationships are blamed on pride—one of the exes or both find it hard to admit mistakes and apologize first. However, only God can help us change for the better so ask Him to help you apply the Bible in your life.
9. Help each other grow in your relationship with God.
If only one of you gives importance to the spiritual condition of your relationship, then it will not be balanced and the ‘boat’ would sink on the side of the unbelieving. Make it a goal as a couple to help each other grow in faith especially when one of you is weak. Do not just remind each other to pray, read the Bible, or go to church—but do them together.
10. Be reminded that your partner is fearfully and wonderfully made by God.
At times when you are tempted to compare your partner to someone you think to be better, or you wish s/he were someone else, please remember that the same God who created you uniquely is the same God who created him/her as well. Appreciate your partner as who s/he is because like you, s/he is loved and special to the Lord.
11. Apply 1 Corinthians 13 in your relationship.
If you want a guide of how love should be, then read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. To give you a glimpse, this passage says that love is patient, kind, and not self-seeking. You can use these verses as a checklist to see if true love exists in your relationship.
12. Look for the counsel of spiritually-mature individuals.
Whenever your relationship is on the rocks, seek advice from God-fearing people. They won’t only pray for you, but you can also get wisdom from them on how you can maturely handle the situation. Avoid those whose primary solution to problems is alcohol—it won’t solve anything.
13. Wait until marriage.
I am not being a hypocrite, old-fashioned, or judgmental here—trust me I know what I am talking about. Doing that ‘thing’ which only married couples should do leads to a lot of negative consequences. Aside from emotional scars in case you break-up, unplanned pregnancies, and UTI (yes, s*x is one of the culprits of urinary tract infection, and you can confirm this with healthcare workers), this actually hinders God’s blessings in your relationship—because even if it is already the 21st century, it is still a sin in His eyes.
14. Get married.
If you want to start your own family, then start right by getting married. Living-in together may be the trend today, but if you acknowledge God, then you won’t do it because it is not right without marriage. Again, this hinders blessings into your relationship—or family.
If money is the problem, then please know that a wedding does not have to be expensive. In case you can’t afford a church wedding in the meantime, then a civil wedding will do. It is still honored by God since the authorized personnel to conduct the ceremony has His anointing (Romans 13:1).
15. Serve God together.
Won’t it be fulfilling if you would serve God together? As an individual, God has given you each spiritual gift and a specific calling. Support each other to pursue your call and use your God-given talents to glorify Him.
16. Make it a relationship goal to help others.
The best way to serve God is by serving others. Your relationship would be stronger if it has a purpose. Find out how you, as a couple, can bless others who are in need—like supporting a charity or donating school supplies to kids. Even though small things, you can already create a difference in society, especially when you inspire other couples to do the same.
ALSO READ: 8 Ways to Truly Bless Your Relationship
17. Treat each other with grace—just like how Jesus treats you.
Putting God at the center of your relationship does not make you, your partner, or your relationship perfect. However, it teaches you how to treat imperfections with grace—which means not giving up on the relationship easily just because of challenges. If you are hurt, forgive just like how God forgives you and be willing to give second chances.
A Strong Foundation
Acknowledging God in your relationship does not guarantee a smooth and easy journey as a couple. However, it makes you stronger in trials and more patient with each other. It will also help you be wiser and braver in taking steps to the future together.
Online courses recommended for you：
- Prophetic School And Hearing The Voice of God
This course is for any believer who is hungry for God’s power to flow through them, bless, and minister to people. - 15 Essential Biblical Texts
15 key Biblical texts you can use to bring deeper meaning to your life for anyone interested in creating a more meaningful life through Biblical wisdom. - The Resurrection of the Son of God
Study of the afterlife and the idea of resurrection.
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GOD bles you! I am from Ethiopia and i am in relationship while I get good advice
Thanks you so much . A relationship with out GOD and support his not sure relationship .
Forgive him and continue with your marriage
hi I am from Philippines I had some relationship with a Mexican man ..and he is the son of God, was living on California im engaged already to him last 2 months… I need prayer from all are… God bless you all ….I was blessed a lots ..
Hi,Im in a relationship with someone who God has been calling but he’s adamant because of worldly pleasures.His Pastor has testified to this and also my spirit tells me often that God really wants him in the vineyard.He sings in his church but not totally saved.i really want to be of help to him because I know that serving God is fulfilling but I don’t know the way around it.please kindly help me out.
Good. This piece of message, gives light. Love to invite you to Nigeria one day.
Wow
Thanks so much for the tips
God bless you ❤️
I know God has led me to your blog, Right now my Christian girlfriend had a fight and we’ve been struggling because of our differences. Thank you for this I was enlightened on how should I respond on the things that we’re facing now.
Hi
An article so inspirational and well written requires sincere appreciations. While we have not done the ‘thing’ and plan to wait till marriage, but we have ‘felt’ each other. Would the god be still angry with us. Please guide.
Thanks
mansa you’ve done well by coming plain. God can forgive you both if you repent of it, and be intentional about setting boundaries that would not further tempt you. God bless you.
💜
Iam really blessed. May God continue using you. I need advice, I discovered my husband is cheating on me with another lady and even they have got a child. What should I do?
I have been helped Thank you so much
Hi am Lisa …am seeking the face of God in my relationship…I believe all isn’t lost …God is in control…it’s painful but am trusting God
Thanks you,you thought me alot.
I love how you made the connection that if you want your relationship to be centered around God then you need to have a strong personal relationship with Him first. I feel like a lot of people want to skip this step and go straight into trying to work with their partner and their relationship together with God. If people skip the first step then they will never truly be able to have a strong relationship with their partner and God at the same time.
This post has been so helpful!
Calvary greetings,
presently, i inquire for mentorship, a friend of mine (guy) proposed marriage to me which i consented hence i decided to share this with my Mum seeking that she prays along with me cos I came from a broken marriage which i don’t want to have such and i related with my Pastor but my Pastor asked me to go and pray about it and return when i am fully convince that He (Friend) is the rightful person for me.
Meanwhile, my Friend (Lover) took me to his Mum which I was welcomed with much love and when he came fellowshipping at my Church and i decided to introduce him to my Pastor, of course my Pastor counselled him but right in the Church, my Mum was crossed at me for inviting him to our Church (that i am making myself too cheap for him and I should allow the Church to follow the rightful channels). Later in the evening, i went on a outing with my friend (my lover) and on my return my Mum reported me to her Sister who told me i can’t marry someone without a good job and gave me list of people i should marry. in fact my Mum said to me that night that I have no salvation and her knowing that I have once visited the guys family she was upset with me.
I told a family friend about him whom i live with during the week days about him(my lover) and gave him a warm reception on his visit to an extent that my lover and family friend planned to surprise me about his visit one day which he spent the night there with us.
Lastnight, he told me that he wanted to kiss my mouth and why i didn’t hug him when i saw him at the surprise given at my family house and my response was “the moment we start kissing or hugging its calls in for other immoral things which might not glorify God and which our relationship is still very young”
The Guy concerned resigned from a job which is pay was small and ventured into Business Development which will kick off soon, intend doing other business alongside but nailed it that he doesn’t want to be an employee. Although, he is still living presently at his parent’s house.
Please advice me on the above story
1. Is it rightful for me to support him in securing an accommodation financially when still dating?
2. Is it rightful to keep visiting him at his Parent’s house since my Mum hasn’t permitted him visiting at our house?
3. Is it rightful for him to keep visiting me at my family fiends house?
4.In a godly relationship, is it rightful to be pecked, kissing on the mouth and hugging?
5. What measure can be taken to avoid kissing, hugging if its not rightful?
6. How can i pave way for a relationship leading to marriage that will glorify God and Humanity?
Thanks in anticipation of your response.
Hi am in a confuse state now my pastor just told me and my boyfriend to break up and do things the right way we love each other and we are willing to do things to keep the relationship but the pastor said in order For our Plans in life to came to past we need to break up…We are thinking of dating without sex if at all that’s a good idea
Hi, I think if one you is a christian and the other isn’t then that is a very valid reason to break up. If that’s the case, I suggest listening to your pastor. If not, I think keep going, but try to not have “make this relationship work no matter what” attitude. That is for marriage, not dating. In dating, I think you must find out if this is Gods will, and if you are compatible with each other. If yes, get married someday. If no, you two need to talk.
God Bless You
Martin
Truly amazing and informative. Thank you
Hi I’m Bongani Makhubele I’m in a relationship with my future wife and we always fight when we have an agreement it ends up with a fight , please help us to get rid of it.
I am Glory.
I am very sad right now, my boyfriend has been cheating on me and treating me badly for over 2years now. We had a fight now and i am broken.
I want to make this relationship work, i just need God to show me how.
I am inlove with him and he has said he will like to spend the rest of his life with me. Please i need God right now. I need him in my relationship. I really want to spend the rest of my life with him!
In a relationship with a guy who loves me so much and I took his love for granted
I made him feel not wanted and whenever we have any argument the first thing is to tell him that it’s over between us and he will come begging and I will forgive him. It kept happening I didn’t know I was slowly pushing him aside and now he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore and I have realized my mistakes and I wanna make it right with him.i know he is not perfect and m not also but I don’t know what to do anymore. I really love and want him back
I just want to write and say THANK YOU. Thank you for reminding me what I had forgotten. Thank you for reminding me how to bring God back as the centre and foundation of my marriage and family. God bless.
hello.
well, since you acknowledged the wrong. And since you want to change, God will surely forgive you. just bow down and pray, first acknowledge what you did wrong, by doing so you break free from the devil’s chain. Then ask for forgiveness . If you really mean it, God will surely Forgive. You just have to agree with yourself to not do it again until married and only with your wife/husband.
I’m dating and we go to separate churches
One of the problems is that we already committed adultery.
What can I do in this regard I really I want to change and save God.
Both of you should prayer you should pray to your father in heaven for forgiveness, as his words says for all have sinned and fall short in the Glory of God (Romans 3:23) but if we confess our sins to him he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins (1John 1:9). And please never go back to it after praying, just have faith that your prayers are heard and from now onwards you will leave a Godly life. God bless you
Hello Im Pearl,
Im in a relationship with my first cousin. I know the catholic church doesnt allow marriage upto the 3rd degree. We’ve had many ups amd downs but we’ve always been together. I have never received such love and affection from anyone as much i have got from him. Deep down i know this relation is wrong but when i think of the love and respect he has given me it becomes difficult for me to go away from him. I somehow reached this site and hope to receive some guidance. Please…
Hope this site is truly powerful and fulfilment of our Higher Worth to learn for Forgiveness, Surrender and Strengths like never before imagined. Together my friends, we got this 😉 No Worries, Doubts or Resentments.
i will suggest that you read leviticus 18. Also, if his parents are directly related to your parents (uncle or aunt), then it is advisable to break the bond.
,
Hello my name is Daniel Lopez I proposed my girlfriend on a Day of God’s resurrection and my parents are trying to separate us for no reason and well I love her a lot… but I need to pray for some reason I don’t want to anymore and I can’t understand the Bible well
Hey Daniel!
I’m not sure where you are spiritually but if you truly have a relationship with God he will show you what to do in this situation. Only if you surrender your relationship with your girlfriend first. If you aren’t willing to give this completely to God first, you’re on the wrong track. That being said God gave us instructions in his word on what to do as far as marriage. In your case I would read what 1st Corinthians 7:36-40, I believe in these verses that it’s not wrong for a father to withhold his daughter from marriage. If your girlfriend’s dad does not approve of your marriage, that could be God protection on both of you. In your case you said (your parents) are not on board with your relationship. In Ephesians it says we should honor our father and mother and if this is not horrible to them, it might be wise to not go through with the marriage. God could see danger in your future where he is using your parents to stop you from going forward. In the end it’s up to you to seek God and see what he says in his word, to do the right thing. Hopefully this will help you brother! I’ll keep you in prayer!
What if we (both couples) pray to God to bless them and made them there future couples?
I understand what you’re saying I do not understand the Bible I have tried very hard but it’s written like poetry and only words get God to can understand I went to a couple of classes it was an adult learning of the Bible the guy asked for people to raise their hands but they had an equations any questions two or three of them raise their hands and their main question was I do not understand the Bible Bible so I read my daily devotional on my phone and I look for topics on my phone I Google it so don’t fill out a place or misunderstood the Bible is written to me in poetry he says one thing but it means another so I don’t get it my mind does not work that way if you ask for a ranch I’ll hand you a wrench I won’t hand you a sheep and you have to interpret every sentence and every line I don’t get it I’m sorry so I understand what you’re saying totally don’t be down yourself at all there’s many people like you I’m one of them God bless you
Thank you so much. Im glad i came across your blog. Im truly inspiried what God has done in your life and i am starting out on my inspirational blog. Thank you again and God bless. Continue doing this..
True
Cause this is perfectly explained. I have learnt and noted the most important things in my relationship.