Many Christians wonder how to know if God’s will for them is to get married or just enjoy singlehood. Or they are confused whether which one can glorify God more.
God values marriage (Ephesians 5:22-23), and He has intended most people to marry to build a family and populate the earth. Thus, godly marriage is glorifying to Him.
Meanwhile, not all Christians are called to marry. Some are called to celibacy, like the Apostle Paul and the Catholic priests. These are the people who know they are called to devote their entire lives to serving God.
So, how will you know if you are one of those who have been called to be single forever? Here are some signs to watch for:
1. Your focus is the ministry ever since.
As mentioned above, religious leaders whose lives revolve around their God-given ministries do not see the need for marrying. Their love is solely dedicated to God and His calling. For them, this is their purpose of existence.
If you are like Apostle Paul, who is so focused on church ministry that you cannot see yourself apart from it, it is not surprising that you have no time for love. Maybe, you are one of those special people God has set apart for Himself—those whose existence is solely to serve Him.
2. You are content serving God and His people.
Another sign that God wants you to stay single forever is the contentment you feel in serving Him and His people. If for you, the love you receive from being a servant of God is enough to see you through seasons, the call of singlehood could be the reason.
Most people long for love and marriage because they are afraid of growing old alone. However, if being surrounded by your brothers and sisters in Christ is enough to keep you from being lonely, there is no reason why you will still look for someone else to love you.
3. You are not struggling with sexual desires.
In 1 Corinthians 7:1-2, Apostle Paul encouraged celibacy, but for those who cannot control their sexual urges, he advised them to get married to avoid sexual immorality.
The verses say,
Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’ But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband…
The well-known apostle continued to say in verse 9,
“But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
Therefore, if you are not struggling with sexual temptations, it could be that you are called to be single forever.
4. You have never been in a relationship.
Well, not everyone who has never been in a relationship is destined to be single all their lives. Some simply find their first love later on. However, this can say something about the condition of your heart.
If the reason why you were never in a relationship before is non-attraction to anyone, it means you are different from others. Most fellas get attracted and “fall” madly in love with others during adolescent years when hormones are raging. So, if you have never experienced this, you are exceptional.
5. You cannot see yourself spending your life with someone.
Usually, God also gives vision to those He has given dreams. If He did not put the dream to be married in your heart, He would not have given you the vision of being with someone in your future as well.
Therefore, if you never have or cannot envision yourself building a family with a partner, this could be your sign. You are maybe destined to stay single for life.
6. Your past relationships made you realize that you prefer being single.
Or you have probably been in relationships before. However, your experiences perhaps made you realize that you are better on your own than with a partner.
If God wants you to marry, He will change your perspective when the right person comes. However, if He allows your perception about relationships to be cemented in your heart and mind, and you become content with it, then maybe He really wants you to stay single.
7. You do not long for a partner.
In connection to no. 6, the contentment of being single forever will remove that longing to be loved and to love someone in return. If this is you now, you will probably be prepared to live your life without a partner.
Nevertheless, this sign alone is not enough to say that God wants you to be single. This could only be a phase in your life when you are enjoying life on your own. It can still be changed once you meet someone who can make your heart beat again.
8. You have been trained to be independent and alone.
If all your life you have been living independently and on your own, God has probably been preparing you for singlehood forever. It means that you can meet all your needs without having to rely on anyone else. Plus, you can solve your own problems without needing others’ help.
So, what are the signs that you are independent and is ready for a lifetime of singlehood? One is you can happily travel alone. Another is you are perfectly fine eating in a restaurant, watching a movie in the cinema, or going shopping on your own. Also, you love the peace of living alone in a place you can call your own.
9. You are not envious of your friends who have partners or families.
Another sign that God wants you to stay single is you do not feel pressured knowing that most of your batchmates and friends are settling down already. You feel comfortable hanging out with your BFFs who cannot stop talking about their babies and happy married lives.
If you do not feel jealous of people your age who have love lives and own families now, that is it. You are content with the condition of your life now, and you have no issue with being different from the norm. Remember, many people get pressured to marry because they do not want to be left behind.
10. You have peace being single.
Overall, having peace with the decision of staying single is the best indication that singlehood is God’s will for you. Even if others cannot understand it, you are not in a dilemma with yourself. It is because the peace of God is enveloping your heart and mind.
Philippians 4:7 says,
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Keep Praying About It
Whether you get married or stay single, you can still glorify God with your life. Both are good as long you put the Lord at the center. Of course, it is still best to consult God to know which one is really His will for you. You can do it by praying for wisdom and direction.
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9/10 is similar with my life, but I have sexual desire. What shall I decide?
Only You can decide.
I am in similar situation as you, but I can tell you my experience.
When I stopped masturbating and started doing some sports, my sexual desires became controlled.
My singleness became much more comfortable.
It requires a lot of self-control, doing sport every day, not watching any sexual pictures etc., but if you are able to do these, your “score” will be 10/10.