Everyone wishes to be in a healthy and long-lasting relationship. However, this longing becomes a weakness and is sometimes taken advantage of by others. If you do not want to be a victim of this, you should familiarize yourself with situationship red flags.
First, what is a situationship? It is a kind of sexual or romantic relationship that is not established. In short, it is not formally acknowledged by the persons involved. While some people engage in this setup just to meet their social or sexual needs, sometimes the other person wishes it to be more serious. However, it is not always a mutual desire.
How will you know if you are caught in a relationship that will not give you assurance? Check out the following situationship red flags.
21 Disappointing Situationship Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore Video
Not a Priority
1. No Regular Communication
If you are part of someone’s priority list, they will always set some time for you. No matter how busy they are, they will take at least a few minutes each day to call or text you. So, if the person you are dating only messages you once in two weeks (and only if they need something from you), accept that you are not a priority.
2. Plans Done Last Minute
Aside from regular communication, you would know if a person loves you if they take the time to make plans with you. If you are important to them, they would want to regularly see you. Thus, they will suggest regular dates. However, if your dates are often unplanned, you are obviously not valued.
3. Not Available When Needed
Can this person set aside the things they do whenever you need urgent help? Or can they sacrifice time to be with you on your bad days? If you cannot count on this individual during your low moments, you cannot say you are loved. This is among the situationship red flags you must consider.
4. Never Checks on You
Aside from not being available for you, this person never communicates to check how you are doing. They only call or text you whenever they are lonely, bored, or in need of some bed moments. If this is your case, stop dreaming that you can bring the relationship to a higher level.
5. Breadcrumbs You
In connection to no. 4, this person confuses you with their sporadic flirting. They will message you out of the blue when they need your presence. And when they do, expect them to be too nice, sweet, or alluring.
6. Just an Option
If you know that this person is also dating others, it means you are only an option. They are not serious about pursuing a relationship with you. You are just part of the collection, and they are probably still in the selection process.
Not the Ideal
7. Lovebombed When You’re Needed
Let me elaborate on no.5 further. When this person needs something from you, they will do everything to manipulate you. One way is by lovebombing you. They tell you words you want to hear and do things that will make you feel special.
8. Comes and Goes
If the person you hook up with just comes and goes whenever they please, they are not serious about you. Consider that as among the situationship red flags you must not ignore. A person who is really interested in you will be consistent in pursuing you.
9. Not Allowed to Demand Anything
Have you ever tried demanding attention, and this individual reminded you that you are not their boyfriend or girlfriend? If you cannot demand time, help, or effort from the person, it simply means you are still an outsider in their life.
10. Every Meet-up Ends in Bed
If every date always ends up with sex, you should wonder if this is only what the other person needs from you. Do they only ask you for a date or visit whenever they are stressed and in need of some sensual pleasure?
11. No Exclusivism
Has the other person assured you that you can still see someone else? If they want an open relationship, it looks like you are in a situationship indeed. They are indirectly saying they want to date other individuals too. If they do not feel jealous thinking about you in another person’s arms, they have no serious affection for you.
12. Hot and Cold Treatment
Are you confused about how this person treats you? Sometimes they are too nice and sweet to you, but there are days when they are distant and even harsh. Whenever they need something from you, they treat you nicely. However, when you need something from them, they will irritably turn you down.
13. Hidden from Public Eye
If this person does not like going out with you in public places, you should ask why. Are they hiding your ‘relationship’? You can tell this if they always insist on visiting your place or asking you to come over. Or they may even want to meet you in a hotel or somewhere far from the crowded areas.
14. Cannot Introduce You to Others
This is also one of the situationship red flags you should be aware of. If they are serious with you, they must not be ashamed to introduce you to other people, especially their family and friends. Nevertheless, keeping your connection is a sign that they have no intention of prolonging your relationship.
15. Keeps Many Secrets from You
If your relationship is getting stronger, you should be more honest and open with each other. However, if you can feel that this person lies frequently and has many secrets, consider it a sign. Your ‘relationship’ is not healthy at all.
Not Discussed
16. Hates Commitment Topics
Does this person always avoid talks regarding commitment, such as exclusive dating, marriage, or bringing the relationship to a higher level? If yes, it means that they are not ready to commit to you. And probably, they do not even have a plan to do it.
17. No Relationship Label for a Long Time
In relation to no. 16, if the status of your relationship has remained indefinite even after months (or years) of dating, it is not worth keeping. You should ask the other person why they do not want a label for your relationship.
18. No Talk About the Future
Moreover, you are in an unhealthy situationship if your partner does not like talking about the future. If they often change the topic when you talk about marriage, it is a sign indeed.
19. Not Included in Plans
And have you noticed that the person you date never includes you in their plans? If they are serious about you, they will think of you when making short-term and long-term plans. This is definitely one of the situationship red flags.
20. No Say in Decision-making
In addition, you can tell you are stuck in a situationship if you are never allowed to comment or suggest in the other person’s decision-making dilemmas. You are told that you have no say in their lives because you are not in a formal relationship.
Overall, this person is emotionally unavailable. You may have been seeing each other for a long time and are even sexually active together, but you cannot feel their genuine affection. Also, they obviously do not care about your needs and feelings.
You Deserve Better
If you are stuck in this kind of relationship, you need to face the truth courageously. Stop hoping that things will turn for the better. Make sure you do not ignore these situationship red flags because you deserve a healthier relationship. Instead, choose to let go and move on.
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
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