Have you reached the “Okay, that’s enough!” point in your life in terms of dealing with toxic people? If so, congratulations! You’re now headed to living a life where you don’t have to carry an unnecessary heavy weight on your shoulders. You’re done with the first step — deciding that there’s no more room for toxic people in your life. How will you actually make the end goal materialize?
Here are 10 ways to cut toxic people from your life:
1. Call their attention.
You can cut toxic people from your life by calling their attention. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe, they don’t know you find them toxic or they don’t know they are toxic, so it’s best if you confront them. No, you shouldn’t start by saying “You are toxic”, but you need to specify what’s bothering you.
For example, you find them toxic because they did nothing but whine about their job. Tell them that their everyday rant negatively affects you and your zest for your job. You might want to end with a piece of advice that if they really find nothing right with their job, they might as well resign. By making this confrontation, you can possibly end their toxicity.
2. Drop the conversation.
Another way of cutting them from your life is by dropping the conversation when they start one. If they talk to you while you are working, tell them you are busy and show them you are busy. Respond with conversation enders or remarks that show disinterest like “Oh, okay” or “I already know that. You just told me a while ago”. In this way, you can prevent them from ruining your day with their toxicity.
3. Ignore them.
You can also prevent them from talking to you by wearing your headset. Remember that music is there to transport you to another world where toxic people do not exist. Wear those earphones. In this way, no matter what they say, you won’t hear them. Using your headset is also an effective way to say “I do not want to be disturbed, so please stay away” without uttering a word.
4. Don’t give them the opportunity to talk to you personally.
If you can refrain from talking to them in person completely, do so. Why should you talk to them in the first place? You need to trace the reason for the need to communicate first so you can devise ways on how you can avoid having conversations with the toxic people.
For example, if the toxic ones are your workmates, and your tasks are highly related to theirs, you can communicate via e-mail or you can just leave a note. By doing so, you can prevent them from opening unnecessary topics that are not related to the task at hand.
5. Disconnect with them in social media.
Cut your ties with them even virtually. If they keep on bugging you even online, block them from your accounts. Social media paved the way for people to communicate easily with each other. It’s a good thing they did the same with preventing people from contacting you. You can block their accounts and you can also avoid seeing their messages.
6. Don’t let them affect you emotionally.
Stop them from affecting you emotionally, too. If none of the blocking and ignoring tips work, you need to cut them emotionally. You need to learn not to care about what they say. Do they talk about false accusations that can ruin your reputation? Why are you bothered with that? Rest your mind with the thought that you can always disprove their words with your actions.
If they say that you don’t do your job, work hard to finish all your tasks with quality. In this way, even if you don’t say anything to rebut their accusations, you can prove them wrong with your actions. Shelter yourself from being hurt by always remembering that the words from the toxic people are of no value to you.
7. Strengthen your support group.
That is necessary to convince yourself that those toxic ones are of no value to you. Reinforce the idea that toxic people are not a loss in your life. Who are the ones who you consider as real friends? Who are the ones who you can deal with in a civil manner? Talk to them often. Eat lunch with them if you can. Find ways to establish a strong connection with those people.
8. Inform your support group.
You also need to inform your support group that you don’t want to hear anything about the people you consider toxic. Sometimes, the toxic people are connected to your support group because you are all workmates or you belong to the same circle of friends.
If your support group does not know the issue, they might share with you news about the ones you consider toxic, or worse, they may be used by the toxic ones to send you their message. To avoid that scenario, be clear with your support group that you don’t want to hear anything about the toxic ones.
9. Stop making excuses and go all out.
Sometimes, pride may get in the way. You want to hear and read the toxic people’s messages to you so you can respond to them as your way of getting even or defending your self. However, remember that for people who are toxic down to their core, they’ll find a way to turn the tables and make you the toxic one for responding and defending yourself. The next thing you’ll know, you’re trapped in the web were the toxic ones appear to be the helpless victims.
10. Refrain from repairing what got broken.
Especially for toxic people who are your family members and who were your friends, there might be a part of you that still wants to save the relationship even if it means you’ll have to absorb all the toxicity they are emitting. Do yourself a favor and let go. You came to the point in your life where you already want to cut your ties, which means, you’ve reached your limit. It’s time to let go to keep yourself healthy.
Allowing toxic people to stay in your life is unhealthy. They’ll extinguish your vibrancy or worse, they might make you toxic. They’re like viruses that are infectious, so treat them just like that, viruses. Find ways to end their connection to your life. You don’t want to get infected, do you?