According to a popular cliché, love makes the world go round. But in a relationship, it’s not just loving that keeps it alive, but patience. You may be madly in love with each other, but if you’re not patient, then you won’t be able to strengthen your partnership and make it for the long term.
Not anybody can master patience, and yes, it requires a lot of strength and determination to keep in your hands. But patience does a lot of wonders, not only in the relationship itself but to the people involved in it. So yes, it’s high time that you learn its ropes as it is a primary key for you to have a long-lasting and meaningful relationship.
You may want to start learning how to have more patience in your relationship through these 10 ways:
1. Get to know your partner as a person.
When in a relationship, it is important that you know your partner as a person, and not just as a partner per se. You have to learn more about their character, both the good and the bad, the nice and the not-so-nice. By knowing them in and out, you are able to understand their strengths and flaws and become more naturally patient when dealing with them.
ALSO READ: 12 Important Things to Know About Your Partner in a Relationship
2. Accept the flaws.
Nobody’s perfect, and your partner is no exception. Of course, they have flaws, and these are things you need to accept with a whole heart. Learn to realize that they have limitations and you cannot push them to go beyond these. At the same time, take a look at their areas of opportunity, as these can be turned into strengths later on.
ALSO READ: How to Accept Someone for Who They Are in a Relationship
3. Let your partner know you too.
Patience, like love, is a two-way street, so aside from you understanding your partner, they should get to know you and understand you too. How else can they be patient when they don’t know who and what you are? How will they be more tolerant of your tantrums when they do not know where your issues are coming from? This and vice versa: allow them to get to know you as a person too.
4. Communicate.
Communication is key to becoming more patient with each other as partners. Take the time to discuss matters that are important to both of you, may they be individual aspirations, joint plans, or problems. It is essential that you lay the issues down and asks each other’s opinions about them. You may not always agree to one’s decision but by discussing and listening to each side, you develop more patience and tolerance for your partner.
ALSO READ: 8 Ways to Solve Communication Problems in Your Relationship
5. Listen.
Listening can be difficult to do especially when you are the more domineering one in the relationship, but it is important that you know how to hear your partner out. Listening is also at the same time understanding what your partner is saying and how they hold dear to their insights. You may not have to agree with your partner’s decisions, but patience is formed when you become more giving and trusting to their choices, especially when you know that these choices are for the betterment of your future.
ALSO READ: 10 Tips on How to be a Better Listener in Your Relationship
6. Allow your partner to be himself or herself.
It’s common for anybody in a relationship to put their best foot forward at all times, as they only want the best for their partners and their setup. But if you allow your partner to keep doing that, the more difficult your relationship will become because sooner or later the flaws will surface, and the shortcomings will become more apparent and you don’t know how to handle them. Hence, allow yourself and your partner to become your natural selves, as that’s what you loved in each other in the first place.
7. Dedicate some quiet time together.
Patience is not only about giving and tolerance. It’s also about allotting time to be spent together as a couple, without necessarily talking. Take a walk together, and hold each other’s hands. The nonverbal communication in this exercise not only lengthens your patience for each other, but also develops more trust because even if you don’t speak, your partner hears you out, and so do you to them.
8. Don’t join them in their tantrums.
There really are instances when your partner gets mad or throws a fit over a particular issue. Sure, it can get into your nerves, but joining them in their tantrum will only make things worse. Rather, let them vent and breathe out everything they feel, and then talk to them calmly once they have cooled down. This would give them time to let go of unnecessary emotions and return to their rational selves before resolving this issue you two are facing.
9. Learn to compromise.
Learning to compromise is likewise a key to exercising more patience. You may not be happy with your partner’s decisions especially on matters involving your relationship, but you also don’t have to give way all the time. Learn to talk to your partner and lay down your terms so that you two can compromise on a decision. You may not be totally happy with it, but at least you are half-happy, and so is your partner.
ALSO READ: 9 Effective Ways to Help Couples Solve Relationship Problems
10. Find activities that you and your partner can do as a team.
Developing patience can also be done through the activities that you and your partner jointly take part in. In this regard, you may want to join in games or sports that require cooperation between you and your significant other as these activities provide the opportunity for you to test and hone each other’s trust, patience, and confidence. You are able to complement each other’s weaknesses and utilizes your strengths until you accomplish the tasks you have in that activity you joined in.
Patience is a virtue, says a popular proverb. You may not have this innately, but this can be developed. All you need is to trust yourself and your partner, and the love that you both have in your relationship. You may not realize it, but you two have already achieved a lot of feats, and that’s because you learned to be patient.
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
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I need help good people….I have lost relationship that I shouldn’t have just because I don’t know how to be patient and I don’t know how to react to things….And I’m confused why people don’t tend to understand me, I always wanna win every argument and wanna be found in every discussion…., I Argue a lot without me even knowing it… I get angry unnecessarily and my always jump into conclusion in my head….I always wanted to be with my man and I always ended been problematic and stressful…. Now I’m in another peaceful relationship and this evil attitude is starting to appear….. I’m scared because I don’t wanna loose him….pls whoever come across this kindly email me your thought on how to get out of this annoying attitude of myself i don’t know how it started
The only way I was able to change, due to the role modeling I had as a child, was to have a deep relationship with God. I asked the Holy Spirit to come I to my heart and help me become who He wants me to be. I read my bible everyday, and boy is there the Best advice in there on how to be a person of love, integrity and so on, and when you submit to God, and ask Him to change you , He will.
so i am a very miserable guy and scared too.
i am at a level of my life where i just want to have serious relationship.
my gf cant bother with me and my miserable self. its been 2years plus, she has now move out of the house so i am not sure if she is coming back
In my past relationships I would blow up the phone leave little toxic voicemails n my partner would simply be sleep or at work n I noticed this tends to stress someone out n cause them to go away to someone more laid back n peaceful, so yes having patience n being non-argumentative is more pleasant to your partner n with you being patient because no one is perfect the reward is greater.
Now i am starting to realize that love is patience ,and never try to change ur partner just be yourself .
I have always been a person who is hyped with emotions and whenever I get emotional I just flood my boyfriend with loads of texts. I didn’t mean to. But it’s because of my emotional impatience. I’m almost loosing him because of that. Now I’m holding up myself and giving him sometime so that we can get back together. To the people whoever reading this all that I have to say is. You always do not need love. You have gave more than love and care and everything. When you give something in abundance you’ll make the person they no long need it. Because love without patience ends up bad. So if you need something in real, be patient. I have learnt it through my mistakes and now I’m hoping for the best. Thank you.
Lately I felt like I am rushing to him so much …
Sometimes he see the messages while hes online sometimes he gets offline .. and the problem is in me .. I send a lot of messages ..my darling ,he says he loves me everytime I get upset ..he tries to calm me down … he sends his voice and makes makes me feel like I am not alone and how much he cares about me … on I love him so much .. now onwards I will have patience and wait till he messages me .. I will try this .. thank you so much !!
I agree about the Patience that i need to have with in myself and for my only one wife(Tuaine Poroveta) She is my persistent of my Hope to be with her until the end of my Life.
It is true that the more patience you have the more you will get.. And I always forget it.. Thank you to make me remember it..
I have a slight anxiety problem and I have a tendency to always wanna be with my partner and I sometimes spam their phone with texts. I know it means I don’t have much patience. But how do I develope patience while I have that anxiety making it hard for me to do it
The problem here doesn’t seem to aspire from a lack of patience, but rather from the initial anxiety itself. I understand too, I used to feel like I needed to be attached-at-the-hip to my significant other, being alone(physically separated from my partner) made me feel incomplete. After we broke up, and well after moving out of my house, I realized it was from an unhealthy codependency formed from growing up with a lack of stability and consistency, as well as early formed separation anxiety. Learning that I can not only survive, but thrive on my own was crucial, and also terrifying. I still suffer anxiety attacks, and have found therapy or communication with friends and family very helpful. Overall, I needed to firmly believe that I will always have my own back because I’m my best friend. You never lie, or say mean things to your best friend, so why would you treat yourself that way? Shortly after becoming the powerful woman I am today, my boyfriend wanted to be with me again. And I didn’t force false growth to give an illusion that I’m “doing great without him,” it took time, and at the end of the day I was the one to analyze our relationship and decide if I wanted to be with him again or not. Not helplessly accepting him back because “I’m lost without him and I need him.” Anyways, this is becoming MUCH longer than I expected, I’m not saying you need to be single to thrive and be independent, I am saying your separation anxiety can change over time when you realize your worth, and understand how truly capable you are. I want to share what I learned with someone else, in the hopes they can learn what I did without excruciating heartbreak.
I think it’s hinged on your sense of self worth. You should refrain from loving from a place of fear but confidence and acceptance of who you are. “Communicating out of anxiety” or communicating frequently are two different things. The former could be slightly annoying and impulsive. Just learn to appreciate yourself as a person and be then channel such acceptance into how you view your relationship. In also improving your sense of self, find time to work on yourself too and invest yourself in other unrelated things: friends, family and work. That way you achieve balance. I hope this helps.
Just do something that would make yourself busy in that way you’ll temporarily forget about that anxiety and overthinking. Well it works for me I’m it’ll work for you as well, just try it mate.