There’s no such thing as a smooth sailing relationship. Every couple encounters an obstacle as they face life together; some of them are petty, while others can be more difficult to deal with. True, these problems are part of a couple’s test of patience, and it’s up to them on how to overcome them. Sadly, there are also issues where the couple could no longer resolve, thus leading to the end of their relationship.
But how do you make your relationship last if you and your partner are facing a lot of problems? These effective tips can be of help:
1.Talk it out.
When the two of you are facing a misunderstanding over a particular issue, like when you cannot agree over a joint decision, the best recourse is to talk things through. Tell your partner your thoughts, and give them the opportunity to voice out their ideas as well. There’s no need prove who has the better opinion because at the end of the day, neither of you would be happy with a half-hearted decision.
Talking things through helps a lot, however, as you learn more about how you think as individuals and how you can come up with a compromise over that subject you have been arguing over.
2. Don’t argue over the phone, chat, or text.
Personal confrontations are always best when resolving an argument between couples. Bickering over the phone, through text, or via chat can be very limiting, as you don’t get to understand each other’s point of views completely. The emotions that come with the messages likewise get lost in translation when not dealt with in person, thus making matter worse in the long run.
It may be better to dedicate a time to talk things through, like meeting up after dinner or lunch, in a place where you two can be alone together. The intimate environment provides a sincere ambience, which allows you and your partner to discuss the issue in a comfortable manner.
3. Go through the argument while holding hands.
Holding hands while talking about relationship problems can be cheesy for some couples, but this approach is highly recommended, even by psychologists. When you hold hands while discussing a problem, you are able to feel each other’s emotions without the use of words. You form a more intimate connection that allows the both of you to exchange empathies, and the decision you come up with to solve the problem becomes sincere and wholehearted.
4. Take some space from each other, but set an amount of time.
Taking some time away from each other can be a good way to cool the emotions down, especially when you have reached a heated argument. You cannot come up to a sound resolve if you are on a high emotional high, so it would be better to take some time off. You may want to spend time with family or friends, or just by yourself, so you can think things through.
Do set a time limit, though. You may want to dedicate a specific time to discuss your problem together; just make sure that this period of being away from each other is enough for both your emotions to calm down.
5. Never ever vent to your friends when you’re in argument with your partner.
When taking the time off from your partner due to an argument, it would be great to spend time with friends so that you can relax. However, it is not advisable that you discuss your relationship issues with them. They may give you varying opinions on the matter and make it more difficult for you to think straight, and they may even go the extra mile and talk these out to your partner. Sure, they mean well, but it doesn’t always mean that their unsolicited help can solve your relationship issue.
6. Take a walk, together.
When you can’t come up with a resolve to your argument sitting down, then it may help that you go out for a walk. Unlike traveling or going on a vacation, taking a walk is a much simpler way to contemplate about your issue, and the kind of solution that you want to address it. Walking also helps you two relax, and in a way realize that you’re on the same journey together.
7. Say sorry – and mean it.
When you and your partner are in an argument, for sure you will be hurting each other’s feelings, either by the words you say to each other, or through your exchange of reactions. Regardless of who is at fault, however, by ready to say you’re sorry.
Saying sorry doesn’t necessarily pertain that you are taking the fault of the situation, but more on the hurtful position you have placed your partner. It is at the same time important that you know the reason behind your apology, and that you only mean well.
8. Be mindful of your partner’s feelings.
When facing an argument, you should be well aware on how your partner feels and reacts. Their emotions serve as signals towards their next move, such as coming up with a decision. You should be able to read these signals before they actually spell out what they want to say or explain, otherwise you will end up not understanding each other.
9. When in doubt, pray.
When the both of you cannot come up with a resolve together, despite going through a series of discussions over the same issue, then perhaps it’s time to pray. There’s nothing a prayer can solve, as while it doesn’t always provide you with answers, praying helps you rethink about your relationship goals and how you want to achieve these. The quiet time also allows you to calm down until you find a balance between reason and emotion while facing the problem.
In a nutshell…
All couples go through all sorts of relationship problems. It doesn’t excuse anyone. You may be dating for only a few months or been married for several years already, but obstacles would still come your way. All these trials are just a test of patience, and being able to overcome them together may lead to a long and lasting relationship.
© Photo by Jeraldyn F. Bagasin, InspiringTips.com