It’s never easy to stop thinking about your ex. Especially when you’re trying to move on with someone new, the old feelings can come flooding back, and it’s hard not to think of them in a good light.
This is understandable, but what if they were bad for you? What if they broke your heart or treated you badly? It can be difficult to get over this type of person, and soon enough, you may find yourself right back at square one. So how do we stop thinking about an ex-lover who was bad for us? Here are the ways that might work…
How To Stop Thinking About Him/Her
1. Get rid of all reminders of them in your life.
This might be not easy, but if you’re trying to move on completely, it’s essential that you get rid of any reminders of your ex. This could mean getting rid of photos and other sentimental possessions or even deleting their phone number from your phone book.
You don’t want to see these things and think about them – you want to forget they ever existed in the first place! Sometimes this can also involve seeing certain people who remind you of them; for example, a friend or colleague (or even an enemy) who looks just like them.
Suppose you find yourself thinking about them when around someone similar; remove yourself from that situation immediately! There’s no point continuing something that reminds you of your ex – even if it was a good time at one point – you need to move on.
2. Spend time with other people, and do things that aren’t associated with your ex-lover.
If you are missing your ex, it’s likely because the memories of them are flooding back into your mind whenever you’re not spending time with someone else.
You’ve probably been spending all of your time thinking about them and nothing else, which is why they seem to come into the forefront of your mind so easily when you don’t have something or someone else occupying it!
This is a clear sign that you need to get out there and meet new people and do more things (and spend less time alone!) If you know these days always lead to thoughts of them coming back into your mind, spend some time with other people beforehand – this will help clear your mind and replace them with more positive thoughts.
It will also help you realize that other people out there aren’t anything like them; they were bad for you because of how they made you feel, but now you can get back into society and meet someone new! It’s always good to see that these things don’t need to happen again, and if it ever does – well, at least you’ve got a choice. You’re not stuck in the same bad relationship forever!
3. Try new things
This will help you get your mind off of them. Spend time doing things you’ve never done before and in places that are new to you, and soon enough, the memories of your ex-lover won’t be as strong if they come into your head. It’s also likely that this could be fun and adventurous, which will lead to some good positive thoughts instead! You might start a hobby, exercise, or go traveling around the world – whatever it may be, spending time on these things will definitely help keep them out of your mind!
This might actually turn into a positive memory for you; something else in life could distract you from thinking about your ex.
The situations don’t have to be as serious, either; try to do more little things like playing music you’ve never played before or cooking a fancy new recipe. You might even make something you can share with other people! These are easy distractions that will take your mind off of them quickly.
Catch yourself whenever they start to come into your mind and replace it with one of these tasks instead. Soon enough, they won’t cross your mind at all.
4. Work out!
This will get out your anger and frustration with something productive! Many people find exercise therapeutic – it burns off excess energy, keeps you in a good mood, and helps boost your body’s positivity. This will lead to positive thoughts throughout the day instead of negative ones that focus on your ex.
If you’re running on the treadmill or lifting weights, you’ll be thinking about how much better the new person will make you feel and not giving them another thought. But, of course, you’ll also look better! Better prospects are always a great way to forget about someone; before you know it, they won’t even enter into your mind at all!
You can also take up some yoga or martial arts classes; these things not only keep you in a good mood, but they’ll also help you de-stress and get control over your emotions. When you’re thinking about them all the time, it’s probably because of how angry or upset that person made you; being able to channel this anger into something positive will make those feelings disappear fast!
Once again, another distraction from your former lover!
5. Go Traveling
This does not necessarily mean going back to the places you’ve been with your ex. Instead, travel somewhere you’ve never been before (or even a place that they took you; it can be as far away from them as possible!) and spend some time there, doing whatever you like to do throughout the day. If this is another country, make sure to take pictures so that you’ll replace them with memories of those pictures when they come up in your mind!
This will also give you something else to talk about with other people – which is always a great way to distract yourself because it’s easier for someone else to do the talking while all of your thoughts are on getting out of there!
Plus, seeing new places is always a great way to make you feel better. You’ll be able to think about the good times instead of dwelling on them!
6. Pick up a new hobby
This will get your mind off of the relationship by immersing yourself in something else instead. Go rock climbing, try surfing for the first time, or start painting as a profession; whatever it is that’s exciting and fun for you, do it!
This will give you something to talk about with other people when they ask what you’ve been doing lately without specifically bringing up your ex. It’ll also keep your brain occupied so that all of those thoughts just don’t come into your head!
You can’t dwell on one thing forever – this is especially true when it comes to relationships because they’re only temporary. If something makes you unhappy so much that it’s constantly on your mind, it might be time to find a new hobby or other people to interact with instead of just one person!
These tips will help you get those emotions out of your system and give you a fresh start for the future. All of us have gone through breakups before; we all know how hard it can be – but if we keep ourselves busy, we’ll forget about them in no time at all!
7. Write down all of the reasons you hate them
This might be difficult at first – after all, they do have some good points – but try to write down every single thing that annoys and/or upsets you about them.
Reading it makes your heart sink a little bit more each time as well – if this is what is bothering you so much about them, imagine if they were around to do all of these things for real! You may even realize some things along the way that you didn’t think was bad at first.
Write down exactly what you feel is wrong with them and why it makes your mind wander; this will help clear up your thoughts and let you start seeing the world in a much more positive light.
They might have done something terrible to hurt you, but now that it’s been brought out into the open, it really starts to bother you. After all, who likes being lied to? Who wants a boyfriend or girlfriend who mopes around all day long? Once you can see these traits clearly, they won’t be able to keep coming back as often – especially since you’ve already confronted them and dealt with them!
8. Give yourself some time to feel sad, angry, or weak
You may need some time to reflect on the relationship and what went wrong. If you’re sad, let yourself cry; if you’re angry, get a punching bag (or just hit a pillow really hard until your anger is gone). Finally, if you feel like there’s nothing left for you in life after this breakup, find something that makes you feel good about yourself – it can be your friends and family or even a new career!
Now that you’ve written down all of these feelings that have been going through your head for so long let them out! Crying is probably the best way to do this because it lets it all out at once – no build-up whatsoever.
Just think about how angry or frustrated you are with them, and let it all out! This is the best way to move on from that person because you’ve got nothing else left in your system; now that you’ve caught up with yourself, you’ll be able to start moving forward without them.
Once you get this emotion off of your chest, try looking at what they did to hurt or annoy you as a learning experience. You are much better off without them and will continue being much better off without them as time goes on!
9. It’s ok to have feelings for this person from time to time
We’re all human, and we’ve all had our hearts broken at least once in our lifetime. This is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about – it’s just a normal part of being alive!
There will be times when you catch yourself wishing that they were still around; this is perfectly fine and should not hurt your dignity as a person.
It hurts because, on some level, you must have loved them enough to want something more out of life with them – even if the relationship wasn’t making you happy, something was attracting you to that person. Eventually, you’ll get over these thoughts after getting them off your chest; most importantly, don’t put pressure on yourself for having these feelings!
10. Take an online course or class!
Try taking up a class or two so that your brain is fully occupied by something else. I know of a few online courses, such as Coursera, Udemy, which you can take completely free of charge.
Please take this as an opportunity to learn something new; it can be anything from HTML coding to cooking! You’ll find that after dedicating some time and effort to learning something entirely new, it’ll help keep your mind off of them for quite some time. It might even spark an interest inside of you, which eventually turns into a career!
11. Volunteer your time in charity events.
Find a charity event that is near you and go to it. Volunteers are always needed for these kinds of events, and there will be other people who never had a chance to meet someone similar to them. You’ll have fun, get to know new people and feel good about yourself!
You see, when you open up to strangers about your life, the first thing they usually do is listen. That’s how our brain works; we use empathetic listening as the initial step in building friendships with others.
So instead of sitting around at home being sad about your ex, you’re out meeting new people – that has got to make you feel good inside, right?
12. Go to religious places as often as you can
It does not matter if you believe it or not; this is one thing where the psychological effect works much better when you don’t need to have a reason for doing it! So instead, go and chat with people who are going there to pray. You will find that there’s something about religion that makes people feel good inside.
Even if this doesn’t necessarily bring back the same kind of relationship since you were chasing after someone who wouldn’t commit, it still gives off a “positive” feeling to make you feel less anxious about life overall.
You might even be inspired by their devotion and start practicing your own faith – that would certainly raise your self-esteem! If anything, it’s great for your health.
13. Get a pet!
Getting a pet is the best way to change your daily routine. Get out of the house with your pet, even if it’s just for 30 minutes each day.
Take them on walks, play with them and shower them with love – you’ll feel like you’re giving back part of yourself to someone else, and that translates into self-confidence!
It makes life more pleasant anyway, so why not take advantage of it? However, you have to commit to taking care of this new family member, so consider that before you go out and adopt a pet!
Bottom line
The tips we’ve provided in this article are a great way to start feeling better about yourself and stop thinking about your ex.
It may take some time for all of these strategies to work. So remember: keep moving forward and never give up on what makes you happy – even if that means getting over them someday!
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
Books recommended for you:
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