A long-distance relationship is likely to be suffering on both ends, especially when one of the parties fails to make it work. That’s because it requires a lot of effort, determination and optimism.
It may seem like a good idea at first to make long-distance relationships work. However, it is not easy and you should think very carefully before starting one. Here are some things you need to consider if you are thinking about being with someone who lives far away from you. First, do not enter into a long-distance relationship if:
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Do Not Enter into a Long Distance Relationship if You Are Like This
1. You’re too clingy and overprotective.
Trust me, it’s not romantic if your partner already feels that they can’t breathe just because you’re hugging them too tight – and I mean this in both its literal and figurative sense. Don’t try to suffocate them just because you think that it’s the only way to make them feel that they are loved; you don’t have to be around all the time just because you find them weak and vulnerable.
In a long-distance relationship, being too clingy and overprotective often lead to paranoia and could trigger pointless emotions like doubts, jealousy, and other undesirable consequences.
2. You don’t trust yourself or your partner.
Trust holds everything together and the absence of this important foundation in most long-distance relationships can start a downward spiral. This vicious cycle will eventually lead to a devastating ending.
Trust yourself to be worthy of your partner’s love and loyalty. Trust your significant other too, will stay true to the promises you have made together.
3. You’re too insecure and have zero confidence.
Insecurity poisons the mind and anyone who had the misfortune of letting this negativity consume their soul has learned their lesson in the most heartbreaking way.
Your insecurity and lack of confidence can be one of the reasons why you believe in the possibility that your partner will find someone more beautiful and more interesting – especially that they’re in a whole new place, experiencing new things and meeting new people.
4. You don’t think he/she is the one for you.
If you don’t even believe that you’re meant to be together, then what’s the point? Don’t break someone’s heart by pretending that you’re willing to give it a try just to break their heart in the end. Let them go as early as now instead of letting them cling to something that you don’t believe in.
Be honest to yourself and to your partner because you both deserve the truth.
5. You think it’s just going to fail in the end.
Even if you believe that she/he is the one meant for you, it’s not enough if you already have lost the hope that the relationship will last – just because you’re too afraid to get hurt in the process.
A long-distance relationship (especially if you’re new to this kind of setup) can be really exhausting physically and emotionally. Aside from missing someone so hard, you have to make sacrifices just to adjust and adapt to the inevitable changes ahead.
6. You always demand affection and crave attention.
You won’t survive an LDR if you constantly want to be reminded that someone out there loves and cares about you. In a long-distance relationship, time is an expensive commodity and spending on it every day can make you take the other aspects of your life for granted.
You have to understand that they can’t be there for you all the time; they can’t give you the attention you need whenever you want because they also have a life outside of your relationship.
7. You’re not good at waiting and being patient.
Being in a long-distance relationship involves a lot of waiting and requires a tremendous amount of patience. The question is, are you prepared for the uncertainties, the missed calls, the unanswered text messages and even the canceled anniversary dates?
8. You can’t control your urges and impulses.
Do you easily give in to temptations and often rely on temporary remedies just to feel less lonely? Do you think you’re too weak and vulnerable to say NO especially if the opportunity to satisfy your urges is already right in front of you?
If you answered YES to these questions, then you know that you shouldn’t be in a long-distance relationship.
9. You depend on others for your happiness.
Your happiness should not depend on other people – especially if they’re miles away from you. The first few days of a long-distance relationship are the hardest and the absence of the person you love may convince you that life will never be beautiful and interesting again – but don’t believe in it.
You can find happiness everywhere. All you have to do is to open your eyes.
10. You’re more into a physical relationship.
A long-distance relationship will never work if your definition of love is focused on the physical manifestation of love and affection.  You don’t have to be physically together just to show each other that you care – and if you think otherwise, then you’re the next days won’t be easy.
11. You don’t believe in happy endings.
Again, what’s the point if you don’t even believe that there will be better days ahead? If you can’t even see a happy future together, then it’s time you gave up and just moved on.
You have to have faith in your relationship and believe in a happy ending because it is your only chance to survive all these. Hope for a better ending, a fairytale-like love story. Of course, it will not be as perfect, but it will always be worth it.
What’s the lesson that you can get from all this? It’s simple and you can write it in one sentence: having the right perspective can make all the difference.
Now, it’s time for you to decide: are you ready for a long-distance relationship and everything that comes with it?
If you want to enter into a long-distance relationship, believe that you are better than this.
ALSO READ: 25 Pieces of Advice Couples in a Long Distance Relationship Should Know
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose. - Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
© Photo by Jeraldyn F. Bagasin, InspiringTips.com
