The strongest of relationships are often built on three things: love, trust and respect. If you think about it, it’s actually a simple formula and anyone who is willing enough to abide by their “unwritten rules” is on their way to finding a real, unconditional and genuine connection that can last a lifetime.
However, long distance relationships are a totally different story. The same love advice that you often read about is just not enough to manage its overlapping and more complex set up. This is because aside from the physical distance that couples have to deal with, the emotional and mental stress that anyone who is so far away from that person who make their world whole is just too much – especially if it’s their first time to be in love.
If you’re one of the poor souls who are slowly failing the challenges of being in a long distance relationship, don’t give up yet. Let this article help you find your way back to a happier and more optimistic future with the person you love.
Here are some inspiring tips for a successful long distance relationship:
1. Accept that being away from each other is going to be different.
Like what was mentioned earlier, being in a long distance relationship can often subject couples to strange and unfamiliar circumstances and that’s where the worst starts – especially if one or both of you lack the experience and maturity to handle a serious commitment.
An LDR reveals the worst and the best in couples and the first step that one should take is this: rewrite your rule book and be open to a new definition of a long-lasting relationship.
2. Be in each other’s everyday life – but observe limits.
It’s good to be a part of your partner’s life even if you’re thousands of miles away but you have to realize that sometimes, it can create an unnecessary pressure and a heavy obligation. Do you really have to know what they had for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Is it really necessary to tell you every detail of his night out with his friends? Do you actually have to know what she wore for that party the other day?
Be supportive, stay connected but allow both of you freedom, space and time to be free and independent.
3. Learn how to express how you feel – even without words.
Communication and the failure to express how someone feels about something is one of the hardest in an LDR. Sometimes, it’s not just about talking, texting or choosing the right words. It’s more about the manner, the sincerity and the willingness to actually make it work.
During the worst times, words won’t be enough but actions will and can make a difference.
4. Other people’s experiences won’t be the same as yours.
Asking your friends about their own experiences of LDR can be enlightening but it doesn’t mean that you have to follow their advice and take the same steps that they did. Remember that everyone has fought and won different battles and although their stories can be inspiring, your own fight will be a totally different story.
That’s why it’s important to make decisions and take every step of your LDR journey according to your own terms, your own experiences and your own judgement.
5. Trust in the promises you both made to each other.
It takes a tremendous amount of trust and courage to accept that trying to make an LDR work is actually worth it. The long phone calls, the occasional fights because of an unanswered text message, the fear of losing them to someone new – these can weaken even the strongest bonds but whenever these thoughts come knocking on your door, just close your eyes and remember the promises of better days and a happier future.
6. Beware of boredom and what it can make you do.
Most cases of long distance relationships tragically and heartbreakingly ended just because of one seemingly simple yet lethal element: boredom. Boredom often ignites an act of rebellion, a false promise of breaking free from the loneliness and sadness of not being able to be physically with the person you love.
Boredom leads people in an LDR to making the most unexpected, spontaneous, and most of the time, regrettable decisions.
7. Remember that you’re not the only one suffering.
You’re both on the same boat and you’re sharing the same longing and loneliness together but apart. You have to realize that you’re not the only person who is trying their best to make the relationship work. You may have different ways of coping and dealing with that heavy feeling of being away from each other, but both of you just want the same thing: to finally make it through it all, stronger and happier.
8. Never ever let paranoia make the decisions for you.
It’s inevitable to overthink and feel paranoid but don’t stay there too long. Snap out of it and never let these negativities ruin your inner peace. More importantly, don’t make decisions based on assumptions and unproven generalizations.
Creating realities inside your head, especially false realities that do more harm than good, is just too unfair to your partner.
9. You both have every right to have fun, even not with each other’s company.
Don’t deprive yourself of fun and enjoyment just because you’re in a long distance relationship. It’s not wrong to create the best and most unforgettable moments of your life without your significant other. If he truly loves you, he’d be happy to see you happy. It’s that simple.
Be kind to yourself and live your life to the fullest without feeling guilty about it.
10. View this distance and time apart as an opportunity for individual growth.
Long distance relationships can either make or break you. You have to decide how this stage in your life will affect you as a person and as a partner. Instead of considering this as a trial, a challenge or a burden, look at it as an opportunity to grow and learn.
Nothing good comes easy. You’ve probably heard of this line before and its message endures because it speaks of the realities of both love and life. If you want to experience the truest, strongest and most genuine kind of love, you have to give it everything you’ve got no matter how difficult or challenging it is.
Photo by Vic Abrugar