Most of the time, couples face challenges that can either make or break their relationship. Some of these circumstances make trying to be together emotionally taxing as well as impractical – and both can lead to devastating breakups.
Perhaps one of the biggest trials that any couple can bump into is to be physically apart, living in different cities and sometimes, in different countries. There are several reasons why they are faced with this reality, for instance, work or family, and others like pursuing studies in another city or abroad.
Now if you are one of these poor souls, you came to the right place. Here, we will try to find out if you and your significant other are ready for a long distance relationship.
Let’s say you just found out that your partner needs to move to another city (or country) for work or further studies. The intensity of emotion that one could feel about this big change depends on the level of relationship you have with your partner. If you are new in the relationship, you could feel betrayed or uncertain about the future, but for long term lovers, they can feel secure yet anxious about what lies ahead. Either way, you feel a negative surge of emotions such as anxiety and the most often than not, trust issues, may dominate the scene.
The most important questions that you should be asking are: are you ready for a long distance relationship? Is it worth the risk? The following signs can hopefully answer these questions.
According to relationship experts, you are ready for an LDR if:
1. You are expressive and don’t have trouble communicating.
Communication is the key, as what most relationship tips suggest. However, it is important to know how and when to communicate. For instance, how good are you at calling or texting back?
Most of the time, it is tough, even for couples living in the same city, to text or call each other several times a day. Living in different cities or sometimes countries with different time zones can be a lot trickier, but setting expectations and planning a practical schedule to communicate can really make a difference. It’s like setting aside a time of the day when you can just talk about your day, exchange some virtual cuddles and just be there for each other, even when you’re miles apart.
2. You know how to effectively express emotions through any medium.
Modern technology has provided us with different media to communicate instantly with people around the world, any time of the day. Messages in text, audio, and even visual forms are available. However, it is also important to properly use these communication tools to express how you really feel, emotionally.
Texts can be boring especially if you’re not the emoji-using-textually-expressive type of person. Most of the time, misunderstandings and misinterpretations occur just because of a missed punctuation, or a plain and boring text that can appear to be less sincere or uninterested. Of course, a particular type of communication can work for particular personalities, so it is important to know your partner’s expectations.
3. You are independent and can often travel alone.
If you always need your boyfriend (or your girlfriend) to come with you in all your travel plans just for the reason that you cannot have fun without them, then you’re not ready for an LDR.
Travelling alone and being able to genuinely have fun is a sure sign that you are a strong and independent person – and only the tough ones survive long distance relationships. You should have the strength and at the same time, the positive attitude that life can actually go on, even when the love of your life is not around.
4. You have a strong relationship with your friends and family.
It is important to have a strong support system especially if you are going through trying times. Being around friends and family members can ease the longing that you feel when your special someone is miles away. Having other people to hang out with and people who care about your well-being provides you with a feeling of security and stability.
5. You feel secure and happy with your lifestyle.
Do you have a good and healthy lifestyle? How you feel about yourself and how you handle negative and positive emotions would initially depend on your physical well-being. If you are physically healthy, it means you will have the right mental and emotional state to face any challenge that comes your way – including the challenges of a long distance relationship.
6. You and your significant other share the same expectations.
As mentioned before, as a couple, you have to be aware of what comes during and after a long distance relationship. Most of the time, love and communication will not be enough to hold your relationship together. It also requires committing to the same things and believing in the same future. In order to do that, you have to set expectations and understand why it is necessary to accept the circumstances as they are.
7. You can have fun and be happy whether you’re alone or with other people.
You don’t have to feel guilty about having a good time even if you’re with other people as long as you know your limits and at the same time, you should not feel betrayed if your significant other who is miles away can have a great time with his newfound friends. Be kind to each other, let each other be happy, and find comfort that at the end of the day, you have this one person to go home to, even if it just means looking at a video on a computer screen and hearing their voice through your earphones.
You may also read: 12 Tips to Overcome Boredom and Loneliness
8. You understand that a physical relationship is just one of the many bonds that keep people together.
Lastly, and probably the most important sign that you are indeed ready for a long distance relationship is, you understand that a physical relationship is not everything.
Let’s be realistic: words and emojis can never replace those warm cuddles and soft kisses. However, relationships should not be built entirely on physical connection and should also rely on the emotional and spiritual side of a relationship.
We understand that there are different circumstances for different people, and some pieces of advice may work for others but not for you. There is no perfect formula to make a long distance relationship work but there is one constant and common thing that couples who made it assure you: your love and commitment to each other make up the strongest bond that can hold your relationship together no matter what.