It is the goal of every Christian to have the right Christian relationship that will eventually end up in a God-centered marriage. The question is, how will you know if your relationship now is the right one?
If you want to make sure that you are in the right Christian relationship, you can look for these signs:
1. Your relationship aims to make God its center.
The right relationship has one ultimate goal—and that is to put God at the center. Making God its center means seeing that all your aspirations, decisions, and activities together aim to please the Lord and follow His will. If you and your partner are regularly evaluating your relationship and discussing how to improve it according to God’s standards, then you are on the right track.
2. It is based on biblical principles.
If you and your partner study the Bible together and do your best to apply what you have learned into your relationship, you can say that it has a biblical foundation. A biblical relationship is pleasing to God, and it also blesses the people around you.
3. You set long-term goals that are pleasing to God.
For mature Christians, the main goal of dating is finding the right person to marry. If you and your partner are planning for your marriage, then you are on the right path. Other long-term goals that serious relationships focus on are improving your character and aiming for stability and maturity before settling down.
4. You have prayer time together.
An admirable Christian relationship will never be without prayers. Thus, if you and your partner have established a regular prayer time together, congratulations! You are doing great at striving to make God the center of your love story.
5. You value attending church together.
Another sign that you are in the right Christian relationship is you value fellowshipping with your brothers and sisters in Christ. You choose to participate in church activities rather than go out on dates. Therefore, you make sure your babe time will not conflict with church time.
6. It motivates you to be more Christlike in character.
Christians aim to have a Christlike character. A godly relationship will help you transform your character to achieve this goal. So, if you and your partner have committed to correct each other’s mistakes and be teachable, you are in good hands.
7. You support each other’s ministry.
Another sign that you are in the right relationship is the support you have for each other’s ministry. Whether you belong to the same ministry or not, you are both supportive of what you do for God. You both understand that your private time together has to be lessened since you have to give time to your commitment to the church.
8. You encourage each other to have a regular Quiet Time.
Christians know that having a personal relationship with God is essential in spiritual growth. Therefore, having a regular Quiet Time or devotion is essential for each person. It includes praying, studying the Scripture, and worshiping the Lord. Do you and your partner encourage and follow up on each other’s personal time with God? If yes, you can say that you are in the right Christian relationship.
9. You strive for sexual purity before marriage.
The Bible discourages premarital sex (Deuteronomy 22: 13-21, 1 Corinthians 7:9). Therefore, if you and your partner are doing your best to stay sexually pure before marriage, you are really faithful Christians. Indeed, God is pleased with your relationship.
10. It teaches you to be selfless.
As mentioned in no. 6, a godly relationship can help you pursue a Christlike character. Part of this is getting rid of selfishness. The right relationship will teach you to put the needs of your partner first. It will also teach you to be humble, especially whenever you have misunderstandings. In the long run, you will learn to be selfless around other people too.
11. It motivates you to improve your relationship with your family.
A good relationship will not cause you problems with your family. Instead, it will help you become a better son, daughter, or sibling. It is because your partner will do their best to earn the trust of your family. Part of this would be influencing you to treat your family better.
12. You surround yourselves with spiritually mature friends.
If you and your beloved hang out with spiritually mature common friends, you are well-protected. These friends are your accountability partners who will check on your relationship regularly. They are also the right people to tap whenever you need advice for your relationship problems. You can also count on them whenever you need prayers and counseling.
13. You keep your spiritual leaders accountable for your relationship.
Aside from good friends, it is also important for a relationship to be guided by spiritual leaders. They can be your pastors, life coaches, or Bible study/small group leaders. Keeping them accountable for your relationship is healthy because you can have counselors, prayer warriors, and rebukers whenever needed.
14. There is grace and forgiveness in your relationship.
Christian relationships are also far from being perfect. It is still possible for you to commit mistakes. However, if you and your partner treat each other with grace, just like how God treats you, that sets the difference. Grace allows you both to forgive each other whenever one of you makes a mistake. Thus, your relationship can last long and start anew no matter what happens.
15. There is respect, fidelity, and accountability.
Of course, the fruits of Christlikeness must be evident in your relationship. As a result of the change of your characters, you and your partner should be able to respect each other’s differences. It will also give you the strength to stay faithful to each other despite the temptations around. Moreover, the two of you should be able to take accountability or responsibility for your relationship.
16. It inspires you to strive for excellence in everything you do for God’s glory.
The right Christian relationship will mold your mindset. The gratitude you have for God for your blessed relationship will make you want to worship Him through your life. Therefore, together with your partner, it will be your goal to give your best in everything as a way of honoring God.
Pray for Your Relationship
If your relationship does not exhibit all the signs yet, but you and your partner are trying to make things right before God, do not lose hope. You do not have to give up on each other right away. Instead, you can use the abovementioned signs as guides to improve your relationship. Of course, it will take two to tango, so you better discuss them with your partner.
Moreover, prayers will really play a big role in the process of your relationship’s transformation. The more frustrated you are with your relationship, the more that you need to pray for it. Make it a habit to pray for your relationship earnestly. You can also ask your boyfriend or girlfriend to pray with you. Prayers coupled with efforts are undoubtedly effective to help you have the right Christian relationship.
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