You’ll know it when you feel it. He’s the one if he’s clear that he wants to have a serious relationship with you, and not just someone to keep him company on a Saturday night.
Have you ever been into a relationship where you doubted if you made the right decision by committing into a relationship with a guy who, it turns out, was just really up for a show? Being committed with someone you know is the right one for you is unarguably the best thing you could ever ask for in terms of romantic relationships.
Sure, no man is actually “perfect”. Everyone has his/her own idea of what makes one. Indeed, it’s more than just about charming looks, his masculine built or the way he makes you temporary giddy feeling you get every time you receive flowers from him.
Here are more mature ways to tell if he is the one for keeps.
1. He’s learned to be his own man.
Being his own man means more than preparing his own meals and paying the bill. Not to downplay these things, but being his own man also means having the wisdom and grit to make his own decisions, sticking to them, and being responsible for the consequences of his own actions. When things go wrong, he does something to repair the damage than sulk and blame others.
2. You don’t depend on him for things no one can or should supply.
In the same way as what was mentioned above, you will know he’s the right one if you don’t consider your man as someone who would fulfill or resolve your personal issues like support you financially, improve your social status, gain more friends and acquaintances, or provide you a kind of family you never had. If that’s your case, then it’s time to rethink if you should enter a relationship, or at least, not yet. Everyone has personal issues and people under strong relationships are no exception. But what makes two people the right one for each other is that they have the attitude of “fixing themselves”, instead of having their partners fix their issues.
3. He fights for you.
Fighting for you has less to do with punches thrown at rude drunk strangers who keep on staring at you, but more with have the grit to stick it out with you when the going gets tough. He’s the one for you if he can be that steadfast figure who will offer support when you need it the most. He is someone who would never give up even when we already have, or that someone who will run after us when all we want to do is walk away. He is someone who would inspire us to take courage to face the battles we face, big or small. He is someone who is not just a partner, but also a best friend and a brother.
4. He recognizes his own vulnerability.
For some unknown reason, men are not a fan of asking for help. It’s true that a man cannot be his own man if he insists on doing everything on his own every single time. Along the way, he would need to listen to advice from people who matters to him, take a hand that is offered, and trust the people who only want the best for him. No man is invulnerable. A real man does not conceal his weaknesses but rather works on them. He admits his deepest fear yet he tries his best to go beyond them. He is brave enough to admit his shortcomings and finds strength in transforming these into his best life experiences.
5. He laughs with you.
A man with the sense of humor is a huge turn-on. A man who can laugh at his own mistakes (not of others) and move on from them is a man who fully understands life’s ups and downs. A man who can laugh at the worst of situations is someone who knows that behind every cloud, there is always a silver lining. And isn’t it always good to have a man like that on our side who can ease the daily pressures in life? As they say, a man who knows how to laugh and look at the brighter side is a man who knows how to live.
6. He respects you.
Even if you had been together for so long to the point of being too comfortable with each other, you don’t take each other for granted and remember to display gestures of kindness such as smiling, expressing appreciation, and saying please and thank you. He can be his real self without losing the grand gesture of respecting you.
7. He opens up about “serious” issues with you.
Certain things like religious or cultural background, habits, regular activities, and immediate goals are some of the things that really matter when considering entering into a serious relationship. Knowing about each other’s dreams and plans early in a relationship will help avoid the feeling of being stuck in commitment where both of you differing plans and beliefs have.
Even if we are with the right one for us, it does not mean that every moment would be a bed of roses. Being with the right one does not mean you would not fight or face some major setbacks in your relationship. However, it is the love and maturity you both possess that will get you through these challenges.
On the other hand, if you find yourself grabbing a man by his hands, begging him to stay in between your sobs, consider this as a sign that you’ve waited too long to realize that he not the right one for you, or vice versa. Eventually, you would realize that heartbreaks wouldn’t kill you, but holding on to toxic relationships will.
Finding the right one is not easy for most of us. If you have not found the one that is for you, don’t fret. Instead of looking at other people’s flaws, focus on constantly improving yourself first, and eventually, the real man who is the right one for you will follow. Trust me, it would be worth the wait.