People cannot destroy what they do not know — a statement that holds much truth in it. But in terms of relationships in the social media world, should you really hide your relationship? Should you really stay away from your social media accounts to protect your relationship? People cannot destroy your relationship if they do not know it exists, but, people not knowing your existence in your partner’s life can also make it appear he or she is up for grabs. Also, it is your partner’s right to be acknowledged and they deserve just that. So, how can you stay on social media without letting your relationship get run and ruined by it?
Here are 9 ways to not let social media run and ruin your relationship:
1. Do not entertain others with your life.
Don’t let social media make you take a shot of even the most mundane things in you and your partner’s everyday life. Sometimes, managing an account makes you feel like you need to consistently update everyone. The good news? You don’t. Remember that you are spending time with your partner to enjoy his or her company and to get to know him or her more. It isn’t your goal to entertain others with your life. Yes, pictures can immortalize fleeting moments, but don’t let them steal you from the present. Take shots only of the important things, and know what to keep for yourself.
2. Don’t let social media dictate your actions as a couple.
Go to places that you want to visit, do the activities that you enjoy, and eat the food that you like. Don’t let social media dictate what you will do as a couple. For example, don’t go to places that are eye candy to post on your accounts just to gain more likes and comments. Focusing on boosting the number of followers you have can make the relationship tiresome, and for you to rest, you need to end it. So, how can you address this issue? Do what you want to do as a couple. Don’t go sky diving if you are not adventurous. Don’t go traveling to different places if what you really want is to do as a couple is staying at home and read classics. Don’t eat in fancy restaurants if you actually enjoy home-cooked meals. By keeping your relationship your top priority, you can prevent social media from running and ruining it.
3. Say no to the temptation of posting real-time.
You have no obligation to update your online friends of what you are doing at the moment. Taking a picture and posting real-time can steal you from the present. You’ll edit the picture, think of a caption, and after posting, you’ll feel the need to check who liked and commented on your post. You’ll then busy yourself replying to those comments. The result? Your partner left alone in your presence. Avoid making him or her the second priority by being physically, emotionally, and mentally present.
4. Do not overthink.
Social media can also ruin your relationship if you allow it to make you paranoid. For example, a simple comment or like made by your partner to someone’s post made you create different scenarios in your head like him or her cheating on you. Being in a relationship doesn’t make your partner devoid of emotions. He or she can still be a fan of celebrities, and can still appreciate aesthetics. Just watch out when things get a little too sketchy.
5. Don’t use your partner’s social media accounts to bring back the past.
Aside from preventing yourself from being paranoid with simple likes and harmless comments, also don’t use your partner’s social media accounts to bring back the past. So you found this post of your partner about his ex way back five years ago. What would you do? Will you doubt your partner’s love for you? What he or she posted in the past does not reflect what is true in the present; it reflects what was true in the past. So, don’t stalk your partner’s account to destroy what you have now.
6. Keep some things private.
Yes, that includes passwords. No matter how tempting it may be to get full access of your partner’s accounts especially their messages, just don’t. Respect your partner’s privacy and his or her friend’s privacy. What if his or her friend disclosed a secret to him or her — a secret that he only entrusted to your partner? That trust can easily be broken and that friend can easily feel betrayed if he or she realizes that he or she is talking to a stranger. Your partner has friends and those friends are not necessarily yours, too. That being said, leave some private space to your partner.
7. Don’t create an unnecessary and unhealthy competition in your head.
Do you post about your travels with your partner to show others you’ve been to better places than them? Do you post sweet lines of appreciation to your partner to show others that your relationship is stronger than theirs? If you’ve answered yes to those questions, then clearly, you’ve created an unnecessary competition with your online friends who don’t even have the slightest idea that they are participants. Instead of that tiring competition, why not post to inspire and promote? Post to promote that place. Post sweet lines of appreciation to show others how thankful you are that your partner is in your life and inspire them to also be appreciative.
8. Don’t use social media to get even with your partner.
Aside from the unnecessary competition with others on social media, having such accounts can also give you an easy time getting even with your partner. So he or she liked and commented on someone’s post? You can easily do the same. He or she checked who sent him messages while he or she is with you? You can also do the same, even with a longer period of time. The result? You are growing apart. If you felt uncomfortable with the action of your partner, don’t get even. Be vocal about the things that annoyed you instead. In this way, you can address the problem.
9. Lastly, don’t use social media to cheat.
It’s been discussed in the previous items that you should not get full access of your partner’s account, but that privacy should not be used to cheat. Yes, you can easily delete and hide conversations, but remember that the lack of evidence does not mean that the cheating did not happen. Use social media to get to know your partner more, not to get to know other people as a potential replacement for your partner. If you have issues with your partner, confess about them so he or she can address them. Don’t use social media to fill empty spaces and lapses in your relationship.
So you see, there are plenty of ways on how you can stay online without letting social media run and ruin your relationship. Use your accounts to strengthen what you have, not destroy it. Use it to inspire others, not create unhealthy competition.
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