It has become common these days for people to enter into a mutual understanding but not move towards a relationship. Sure, they share the same fondness and affection with each other, spend time together, and build dreams as a couple, but somehow they were never able to cement their setup into that of a legit relationship. This can be more heartbreaking for some of us, because after all the emotional investment, at the end of the day there is nothing for us to fight for.
But how do you get over a relationship that never really started or existed? Here are ways to move on from a relationship that went kaput before it actually became one:
1. Cry it out.
Such situations are a cruel end to a supposedly beautiful love story, and anybody who gets experience these owe it to themselves to cry. When you cry your heartbreak, you are giving your heart the b to breathe and release all the unwanted emotions, such as pain, anger, grief, frustration, and sometimes, hope.
It is important to cry the moment you feel like doing so because if you don’t, you will continue to carry the unnecessary baggage as you move forward, and this may also hinder your way to finding true love.
2. Put away the pictures.
Despite not forming a relationship, you and your partner had a bond, and a lot of memories came with it. There are the pictures, social media mentions, gifts, letters, and all other sweet nothings that represented your affection for one another. But to be frank, all these no longer have value after the “breakup,” because they are already part of the past.
It would help to block these memories for a while, and this is by either keeping them in a box hidden somewhere you cannot easily access, or getting rid of them completely. Shying away from these allows you to start with a clean slate, as one look at them can tear you apart in a jiffy.
3. Go on a date. With yourself.
Another reason such breakups are painful is that you’ve invested a lot of feelings for this person at the expense of valuing yourself. You may find yourself in limbo, where you do not know yourself anymore after the so-called setup has ended.
Hence, you may want to start getting to know yourself again. Go out and explore the world on your own. Go watch a movie, have dinner at a fancy restaurant, visit a popular destination, and even travel solo. Doing these things lets you garner new experiences and learn new things, and these “new” things maybe those you were yearning from your previous partner-only to find out that these are present in yourself after all this time.
ALSO READ: 12 Wise Things to Do After a Painful Breakup
4. Listen to music.
Breakups, regardless of type, lead to a deafening silence. For a time, your emotions would go blank, and it is as if you cannot feel, hear, or see anything. You don’t want to reach this phase, right? If so, then listening to some music may help you feel a little less numb.
This is because music is the language of the soul. It lets your heartbeat through its tunes, and it allows your mind to forget all the negative vibes temporarily.
It would be high time to play the tunes you love, especially those you listened to way before you met the person who broke your heart. You can also dance to the beat if you feel like doing so because at the end of the day, it’s your life and it’s your rules that you have to play.
5. Check on all the people who love you without asking for anything in return.
Perhaps you feel the pain of such a breakup to a more intense degree because you have no one to turn to for support. But you don’t have to endure the pain alone; there are people around you who are there to listen and give you a shoulder to cry on.
Call your parents. Chat with your siblings. Hang out with your friends. They may say a few things you don’t want to hear but surely they care, and you have to take advantage of that. Let them help you because even their small ways count a lot in speeding up your process of moving on.
6. Find something to focus on.
When you go through the process of heartbreak, you will find yourself preferring to be alone and live in solitude, at least for the first few weeks (and to a certain extent, months). During this period, you will be more vulnerable to entertaining negative thoughts and these can drive you further downhill. You can counter them, however, by finding something productive to focus on.
Find a hobby, such as arts and crafts. Learn how to cook. Go for walks and hikes, or go to the gym and work out. You may also want to practice meditation exercises to rid your mind of these unnecessary bad vibes that take a toll on your overall wellbeing.
ALSO READ: 10 Inspirational Tips to Heal a Broken Heart
7. Face the fact that there never was a relationship.
Acknowledging reality is key to moving on from any kind of heartache, and in this case, it is important that you face the fact that there was no relationship, to begin with, and all that ended was the understanding you and the other party shared. There were no promises to chase, no battles to fight for, just feelings, which, unfortunately, have fizzled out.
You may want to start embracing reality, no matter how painful it seems to be because that’s the only way in which you can move forward to new beginnings. Besides, that’s not the end of the world, and perhaps your affair came to a close because you’re bound for a better, more legitimate kind of romance.
And yes, remind yourself that you deserve better, and you don’t have to settle for someone who cannot commit to you.
8. When in doubt, pray.
Lastly, when you are bothered by all the mingling emotions brought by the end of your romance, you may want to sit down and pray. It is best to entrust your whims and consternations to God, as it is only He who knows the best for you. By seeking His guidance, you will definitely be able to move on not only to a better future but towards the right direction and find the right one for you.
Online courses recommended for you:
- Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose.
- Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.