10 Ways to be More Mature in a Relationship

Mature healthy relationship
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz

Anyone who has been in a relationship will agree that love is just one of the many factors needed for any commitment to work and stand the test of time. In other words, even if we genuinely love someone, the realities of life have a way of reminding us that nothing is ever simple – especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

Asking the right questions and seeking advice from the right people can give you more chances of finally finding the answers to what really makes a relationship work. Once you’ve gathered everything you need either from the thoughts of people who have made it or from the pages of a magazine, you’ll figure out one unifying concept that holds all of them together: maturity.

In definition, maturity is a person’s ability to appropriately respond to others and to the outside world. Being mature is a skill that one should learn and cannot be acquired instinctively.

So what does it mean to be mature especially if you are in a commitment? To answer this question, read on and discover the ways to be more mature in a relationship.

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10 Ways To Be More Mature In A Relationship

1. Address the needs of the relationship first.
Selfishness has no room in a relationship and the idea of being in a commitment with someone means that you have to think and decide not only for yourself but for the other person, too.

Maturity means making the right decisions and working on goals meant to benefit not just yourself or your significant other. These goals should be focused and be based on what both of you want and need and how the consequences can affect your future.

2. Learn the values of trust, respect, and sincerity.
Learn the values of the most important ingredients to a happy and healthy relationship. Trust your partner that they have the strength to fight for what you have. Respect them as a person and as a human being. Appreciate sincerity and learn to express genuine love and affection towards each other.

ALSO READ: 11 Signs You’re in a Mature, Healthy, and Strong Relationship

3. Accept the reality that people aren’t perfect.
When you can accept and tolerate the worst part of them, when you can get through their most terrible tantrums and bad moods, it means that there’s a huge chance that you can end up together. It’s important to recognize that the person you are in love with is not perfect and it’s beautiful if, despite these imperfections, you still have the eyes to see the best part of them.

However, know when you should step in and do your part to help them grow and inspire them to change for the better.

Ways to be More Mature in a Relationship
Photo by Chuotanhls

ALSO READ: 10 Ways to Inspire Your Partner to Change for the Better

4. Look at things from your partner’s perspective.
Never think that you’re the only one who knows how to make the relationship work. You’re not always right and you can’t have the final say in everything. Being in a healthy relationship means having the wisdom to understand and see things from both perspectives.

5. Practice patience and always choose forgiveness.
Loving someone makes us emotionally vulnerable and it’s true that the person that can make us the happiest is the same person who can easily break our heart into a million pieces. Your partner, just like you, is only human, capable of making mistakes.

There are moments when you will get hurt when you will feel that you’ve been betrayed or taken for granted. However, don’t let these get to you. Let patience give you strength and let forgiveness give you hope that everything is just a part of the process.

ALSO READ: 9 Tips on How to Forgive Someone Who Broke Your Heart

6. Accept the fact that relationships can’t be perfect.
Just like what was mentioned in the previous section, there are days when the love of your life will break your heart. There will be moments, too, when you make the wrong choices that can eventually hurt your relationship.

Everything is just a part of the process and all the challenges that you face as a couple is there to either make or break you. Don’t let them break you.

ALSO READ: How to be Happy in a Relationship in 8 Ways

7. Realize the destructive consequences of overthinking.
One clear sign of maturity in a relationship is when you no longer have the time and energy to accommodate negative and destructive thoughts that could potentially end your relationship. While many young couples fail to trust and have faith in their significant others, their older and more mature counterparts can easily let go of these unnecessary emotions.

Ways to be More Mature in a Relationship
Photo by Papagnoc

8. Be more sensitive and always take time to listen.
Be a good listener and know the right words to say depending on what the moment requires. Having the sensitivity to find the right words can help your significant other feel that they can always talk to you about anything. Make them feel that they are with a dependable friend and a supportive partner.

It’s important that couples understand the value of communication and how it can create a stronger bond between two different people.

9. Admit mistakes and learn from them.
It takes a tremendous amount of courage to learn from the mistakes that we have made in the past but it also takes a great level of maturity to admit that we are not always right.

It’s important to acknowledge this flaw of being human: everybody makes mistakes and we often fail to see the wrong things we’ve done until it’s already too late.

10. Recognize the power of words and how to use them.
Words are powerful and how you use them can either make another person smile or cry. Learn to choose what to say and what not to express.  You have all the right to express how you feel, good or bad, but don’t use this freedom to intentionally hurt the person you love.

It takes a lot of maturities to figure out life alone and being in a passionate relationship with another person can make everything harder and more complicated. That’s the reason why young love doesn’t usually work and is often the most tragic.

However, even if you’ve lost someone you love just because you couldn’t make it work, it’s not a reason to give up. You’ll soon find your way and meet someone better. Take all the time you need and learn as much as you can.

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Charm Villalon
Charm is a writer and a student. She is currently completing her Graduate Degree in Language Studies while refining her creativity and related skills through the visual arts: drawing and painting.

63 thoughts on “10 Ways to be More Mature in a Relationship”

  1. I’ve been with my bf for about 2 years.He always say that I’m too childish and I need to upgrade myself to be a mature woman. Yes, we can’t deny that we have age gaps. He is 27 and I’m 22. I’m trying hard to be a mature lady but I’m just not able to. He said to me I really have to be a mature lady as to continue this relationship. Can someone please teach me?

    • The age gap is not a big one. It seems that he expects something from you and he is not able to get it from you. he has named it as a “mature lady” to get what he expects from you. Also, it seems that he has conditional love for you. Love should be unconditional because pure love does not have any words like “to continue this relationship”.

    • If he asks you this, he might be as kiddish too. Don’t worry about it girl. Just stay cool and keep calm. He should also understand that you are 5 yrs younger than him. If he really loves you he’ll love you no matter what. And you will also love him for him. Just show passion and affection both of you. And all will go right. Trust me : )

  2. We love each other..but the pblm is we are in a long distance relationship..nd he don’t have time for me..i want to spend time with him..but he always remain busy with his family his job..he can’t even manage for 5 mins.. this is a bit painful ☹️☹️

  3. My boyfriend said I’m childish and I should try and work on myself. But I think the problem is not from me because is like everything i do irritates me and he wasn’t like this before. I also want him to view my pains from my own perspectives.

  4. Hello I want to date 35 year lady with 14 yr daughter n kam 28 yrs old ..I got feelings for her n I believe kam mature to handle this with her…give me advice on how to go about it…
    My name should remain as a secret kindly

  5. Hi..i really want some advice as to how to be mature..i am a possessive person..and yes it can be destructive..my partner has done few things to make me insecure in case of girls..which makes me less understanding when i find him talking to some girl..and mostly he talks to ex crushes. i feel highly insecure and then we get in a fight. as i m a person who doesnt talk to guys and only look at my guy. But he is different in this way.
    i dont want to leave him i love him very much and i try really hard like really to be mature n to have faith that he wont get carried away..but i just loose everytime and we end up fighting.
    please please tell me as to how i can be more understanding and mature towards him.

    • Possessiveness and developing expectations are the big killing elements in our life. If you want to run a peaceful life, please throw these two things away in your life. These two things not only kill us but also irritate our life partner too. Avoid seeing him talking to ex crushes or other girls and asking about his meets with them.

  6. What should i do if he always wants what he want… And even if i did nothing he always blame me for the things that came up for him.. I just always to be with him, be patient, more understanding, but still if he have problem he blame me for that!:(

  7. Hi. I’ve been married for 14 years. I’m now 46 and know i’m immature, timid, lack self confidence, have anxiety, and depression. I have four kids to raise and behave like the 5th. I only get intimate to satisfy myself. There doesn’t seem to be any genuine love. I feel we are just room mates. I feel we are only together because of the children. We have no communication and I’m always grumpy and never smile. I have failed all my education and feel lost. We are in an interfaith marriage. I really need help

  8. Well hmmm love everything u said here but my problem is my big keep telling me to be matured I have tried all I can but he cheated with my friend n l forgave him but the give keep posting his pictures of them both on her status which hurt me so much I don’t know what to do please help me😭😭😭😭😭

    • listen up bro it’s hard but u have to keep ur sad feeling inside and if u tell them to ur opposite they give sampathy that time but loose feelings and thinks ur immature. they always say sensitive boys are best but whenever they get sensitive ones they think we are immature…….if she is not talking to you ask her one time to give us a last chance If she say yes..be like friend for someday and then talk to her like u do if she say no don’t ask her too much bcz that make u immature and if don’t ask her she sense self Respect from u and thinks ur immature and if she ask u or not be friend first LOVE ALWAYS WORK WHEN UR FRIENDS FIRST

  9. Me and my girlfriend made it to our 6 month mark which is good I love her vary much and trust her 100% the thing is she says sometimes I don’t act my age or I act childish which she says she likes but sometimes it stresses her out I just wanna say thank for this article I’m trying to take the things from it to help me act my age so I don’t end up losing her but the thing is she’s not afraid to say my flaws cuz she wants me to work on them I gusse thats one way of showing love 😂but the thing is what I haven’t told her is that when we are on a call shes never just on call with me there’s always someone else another thing is her friend has bought her a phone and she told me he likes her I don’t what to do with that what do I tell her to do I don’t want to seem like I’m forcing her to end a friendship but at the same time I don’t want her to talk to him anymore she knows he like her and the thing is I understand shes vary kind and she has a big heart but I useally ask her what would she do of a girl liked me and started buying me stuff she never answers me she just ignores the question maybe it gets her mad idk shes been hurt alot in her pass and I know that would make it hard to trust someone with your feelings so what should I do I’ve done everything been there for her when she needed me most but at times she starts crying and won’t tell me why she pushes me away and I try to give her a hug and hold to tell her that I’m there for her buy she just yells telling me not to touch her to be honest I’m confused I want to be with her but I need to become smarter and know what to do when that stuff happens anyone have answers?

  10. using weapons against a loved one is never a good idea and will cause pain and suffering. Is that what you want to give to your partner?

  11. Me and my fiance use to have a lot of arguments. What I did I changed to be a bigger man for her. I listen to her and then I inspire her with great ideas. When she gets upset and screams. I get on my knees to tell her I love her and i give her a big hug and a kiss. Sometimes when my fiance want me to come in the room and she ask me can I get a foot massage, please. And I consent to it to give her a good foot massage or a back massage. I always wait patiently for her to come back close to me. I have to understand that she been through a lot with her ex-husband. And she does not want the relationship of me and her to be the same, as her pass. Every man should be good to there wife, girlfriend or fiance. Because they will lose out on something good. Like I almost did. All men should change.

  12. Same situation, im used to toxicity in relationships and now i have a mature man in my life, but i think ive pushed him away.. hes stressed out and not happy, and i find myself reacting impulsively and very negatively/ with insecurity all the time now. Im trying to think before i speak, put myself in his position and not be so difficult.. But it definitely takes time… There is ALOT of other factors going on of course, daily life things.. And sometimes that stuff gets in the way of the relationship needs. So im almost at a point of just taking a step back from the relationship and focusing on myself, because ive put way too much emotional energy into this, and i, aswell as him, am extremely drained..

    • My GF said shes done withe she dont want to stay with my side any more shes tired but the real reason is she dont trust me anymore and even the little things we fight then after that she wants a break up but this time we fight and she never believe me that I am not jealous cause she keeps saying I am jealous of her friend and suddenly she thinks me that I am immature and i am to young and this is the worst break up we have and I am sad she doesnt want me to talk to her even in morning i am just saying goodmorning she still refuses me to talk and saying me that if i wont stop doing that she will block me and keep telling me i made my decision i dont want you anymore tell me what to do I love her I can wait forever for her Just to bring her back to me #RESPECT thankyou btw spread the love

  13. She and i were in a great time at once for a short period of time almost 2 mnths but now she doesn’t have feelings for me as of i have i want the relationship to be continued but she says you are not mature enough to handle me and she just rejected me in that sense she is still my friend though how can i approach her for being with me plaease help me regarding this

  14. If you cant trust them, just leave them. You probably will have to latter if you suspect there is another person they are talking with that they don’t want to tell you about. Doing this will save you loads of heart ach later on. Always try to just talk it out first, and if they are still negligent, then you decide their loyalty to you. Always break up sooner than later. It gives you the opportunity to find a better relationship sooner and more effectively.

    Hope this helps!

  15. I’m In Love With A Lady That Is More Matured And Have Got Much Experience Than Myself,i’m Not Convince That She Truely Love Me,and Even If She Do,i’m Afraid That With Time She Will Consider Me As A Person Not To Her Level.What Am I To Do So She Love Me For Better? And How Can I Prove To Her That I Deserve Having Her. Please Help Me I Don’t Want To Be Left With Just A Stain.

  16. Just minutes ago,I almost committed suicide because my boyfriend and I seem to be differing a lot.. He hurts me intentionally, he does things that make me think he wants to end the relationship. Sometimes he’s so sweet, sometimes he’s a bad guy n this breaks my heart so much.. Please help me on how to fix my relationship because I love this man so much n I don’t want to lose him.

  17. i am in a relationship for 4 years now. and i am praying everyday for it to lead to marriage bcos i love my partner so much.. my girlfriend keeps insulting me everyday that i am IMMATURE and i am a CHILD and i should grown up. it has made me read books on maturity and adulthood cos i dont want to loose her.. but all efforts have gone done the drained as we just broke up and i received insults from her … because i dont have enough money to meet up to her useless needs of social media and friends…this is the second relationship i am loosing because of same issue ACTING IMMATURE AND CHILDISH..does calling your gf always to hear her voice means ur immature…is calling her cousin who is also your friend means your childish… relationship is over now and i will never fall in love again with any woman in my life.. i rather be single,, alone and die alone than be with a woman that complains because of how much you love her……

  18. Wow !!real inspiration! I am in a serious relationship although we go through misunderstandings and quarrels we love each other and want to build a family!! The problem is my partner is too jealous ,and I don’t know how to convince him that I won’t cheat on him!!the reason for his insecurity is that he thinks I’m every guys type,,,need help !!!

  19. I express myself through poetry and post it on Facebook. She says that it reminds her of something someone does in high school, immature. I feel so strongly for her to the point that she is my muse, but it’s not what she wants. It hurts. She isn’t going to change so I need to find more mature ways to express myself. Or, do I just need to move on and find someone who will appreciate me for who I am?

  20. am very jovial even when am talking to someone I keep smiling or say different words..
    which does not even related to d topic we are discussing..but my babe actually called me premature..that moves me so hard that we don’t chat any more. pls how can I solve this????

  21. My boyfriend think I’m not matured enough able to handle and keep a relationship. When he talks to me about thing I should know and ought to do, rather than argue or exchange words, I keep quite for him. Now he thinks Keeping quite means I was angry or I get pissed easily. He assumes things a lot for me.
    Please what do I do! I love this man so much I don’t want yo loose him.

    • try to change your respond on anything he’s saying in or on every situation, listen on what he has to say then think on how you can respond without making an argument. Responding calmly with a lot of sense with a little amount of words will make your boyfriend realize that you are matured enough to talk to. That he is comfortable on everything he has to say. I’m saying this I had the same situation and that is what I’ve noticed on my girlfriend. 🙂 I hope it’s helpful.

  22. I am in same situation… But he broke up with me still we trying to fix things… But I am failed ..now he is tired I am also very tired… Even I don’t even wish to talk to him…. 😢😢😢😢

    • are you sure you can live without him? sometimes we get tired, and feel like giving up which gives us the result of GRIEF. Get time and space, stand up, and fight again.

  23. Well for me i am having the same issues as all you folks here.
    I cant help that i am always jovial no matter what the situation is i am always smiling.
    My partner on the other hand calls it IMMATURITY, but i dont see it as that im just always smiling and i try not to take that smile off my face, reason to me being like that is to make my partner laugh after a hard day of work but my partner fails to notice that.

    What should i do?

    • hello there, I’m in a relationship for almost 8yrs now, my bf and I always fighting for the same reason, and its because of my IMMATURITY, yeah, and I admit it too, being in our relationship, he pampers me and spoil me all the time, I guess, I’m being used to the way he treated me that I get blinded and didn’t noticed that sometimes I hurt him every time we fought or I became insensitive towards him, and I noticed also that he is the one who handled our relationship very well, he understand me all the time though Im a crazy b*tch, but still he always there to make me understand that he always loved me no matter what and I loved him with all of my heart also, I don’t want to lose him as matter of fact, that’s why I came to this website to learn more about what are my mistakes or what was wrong with me, I want to learn everythimg on how to become a MATURE PERSON, I hopefully wished I could apply this to myself everything what I have read here, I will try harder!!!😊😊😊

  24. First of all I would like to thank you for creating this wonderful article. It made me think and realize what am I suppose to do in our current situation. Actually, we are not in a relationship as of now. I’m still pursuing her “Yes”, and hopefully she will consider all of my efforts.

    Whilw reading your article, I’ve noticed that being not mature enough to handle situations like you’ve mentioned. Will doesn’t give me guarantee that she will agree to be my future girlfriend. I’ve been paranoid, since when I knew that her ex was still around. I couldn’t think of something that will prevent me to act inappropriate in front of her. Now, she gets irritated when I always talking about those the topics that she doesn’t want to talk about. She knew my down side, and this makes her thinks that I’m not mature enough.

    I already make an apology towards her, but I know its still not enough. But since you created this, I’m somehow enlightened to know what will be the next steps to do. I’ll remove alot of traits that causing her to loose attention on me. I want to change for a better because I really love her so much. More than words can say how much I really do.

    I will not waste any time or chances to be better for her. I will not give up on her. She’s the most beautiful person that keeps me amazed.

    To my futures girlfriend, I know you can’t read this but I’ll use this to tell them how much I really love you!!!

    Thank you for the opportunity creator. Please be my personal advisor. Your response is highly appreciated.


  25. i have a problem ,me end my girlfriend are beefing over small stuffs but the ultimate of it ll is that am jealous she is communicating with someone she told he is an old friend but it is getting out of hand help

  26. Hi I am Bibek…
    I and my Girlfrend….
    we both are Fight and Discussion in anything situation.
    I want to Spend my life with her happly but she not understanding my problem
    what happen to me
    and i became a Sad that time.
    Now i hate her to much.
    i trust her to much But she think to me i hav not trusted her…
    Now what i will do?
    How i will say her to understand me..
    I always cry ani every moment But He have no Problem he not thinking about me
    i go with another girl then she say to me Don’t go With Girl..
    when i told her..
    u also Don’t go with Boys
    i can’t like…
    But she not understanding to me😭😭😭

  27. While reading this, it makes me relieved from pain of breakup because of being immature in a relationship. One thing I should work on to be more mature is to learn to forgive the person I love and makes me happy though he is the person that easily breaks my heart.

  28. My boyfriend keeps saying I’m disrespectful cause I talk anyhow out of anger I really want to change cause I don’t wanna lose him

  29. My boyfriend and I night every day, according to him I’m not mature. I’ve tried so hard to change but it’s just not working and now our relationship is on the rock.

  30. My boyfriend and I always fight upon past things, he thinks I m a lier .. I ‘ve left everything behind him, he wants me to be mature .. I m trying but how much efforts should I put over and over why doesn’t he understands me 😣😣

      • I m in the same condition, even he wants me to be mature and I do try but the main thing in being mature is talking to that person not at everytime decide a time and talk at that time its a much better option to do. And if you really love that person just give some time, personal space because time heels everything.

    • I need an advice.. My bf said have change… Dat I need to be mature.. I believe in relationship u have to love me for who I am and also has u get closer u start knowing each other.. In me I believe I didn’t change.. He said he wanted d person.. He started Dis relationship with…. But I Dnt change I Dnt no wat to do

      • ask him what is the change, why does he feel so, try to come to a mutual agreement about it, you both will have to make compromises, if u want it to work, u will have to communicate and understand that not everything will happen as you both want it, u have to adjust

    • I want to talk to you…i need someone to listen to me as there’s no one…can we plzz talk cuz i think ur gng to understand me!


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